This discussion shows the increasing need for a new fighting game. Fuck Rising Thunder, we need a more realistic, grounded experience that channels reality like none other. Forget Street Fighter, we need
Pavement Quarreler!
The most realistic, politically correct fighting game ever conceived! The only thing you'll be offending is your opponents face!
With such characters as:
MOSBA!
(Morbidly obese sports bar attendee!) With projectiles that can only be thrown if they are present on the ground in the stage, as he cannot just magically pull them out from no where!
Tipsy Jimmy! An inebriated middle aged man who, while not a professional fighter, is belligerent enough to to make a street fight plausible!
Saito! A sexually frustrated martial arts instructor who has seen a steady decline in his practice due to lack of sign ups on account of the city's ailing economy, and vents by way of assault and battery!
Man-O-War! A trigger happy 'war veteran' who was dishonorably discharged from the military, but hides this fact and throws his weight around by attacking younger men who appear accomplished in their lives, as he is jealous of them!
No women on the roster! Because Pavement Quarreler is ultra realistic, no women are playable because that is not realistic unless in the MMA.
1on1 fights? Fuck that noise! In real life people don't just stand around and watch all the time
Fatalities and hospitalization! If a character sustains lethal injuries or dies: You cannot play them again. If a character sustains a move that would limit their use of limbs IRL, you can bet your sweet ass their limbs will be limited in-game as well!
But wait! There's more!
Super Street Pavement Quarreler 4!
Complete with playable, unhappy Starbucks baristas who, while they have no problems with Christmas, hate the issues related to the design of their cups!
Kick ass, take names, and learn match ups, but only if your opponent consents to you observing his habits and learning from them.
Pre-order now!
Disclaimer:
I have no idea what the fuck is going on, I just skimmed a few buzzwords before posting this.