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CCVengeance

The one guy hoping for Kai
The gauntlet continues....
COMING SOON Part 2,3 and 4 of Mr. Dust runs the Gauntlet.
''He is a fool. The strongest fool of them all''-Mr. White
 
@ the gabstandard

where in the book, is your part from? you are cowriting a book. did you write all of the piece here, or did you have help with it. I think it might be easier to spell things out to you if we could see it from the beginning. up to you. i think I gave you enough to work with for now though. try to apply it over the rest of what you have too. keep writing and, i'm telling you, you get better. you start seeing shit. you understand when things don't make sense. you start revising better. you start making better stories. like I'v said before, i'm no expert. the best way to get good is to keep doing it.like anything else. only way. later...
 

TheGabStandard

The anticipation is killing me
@ the gabstandard

where in the book, is your part from? you are cowriting a book. did you write all of the piece here, or did you have help with it. I think it might be easier to spell things out to you if we could see it from the beginning. up to you. i think I gave you enough to work with for now though. try to apply it over the rest of what you have too. keep writing and, i'm telling you, you get better. you start seeing shit. you understand when things don't make sense. you start revising better. you start making better stories. like I'v said before, i'm no expert. the best way to get good is to keep doing it.like anything else. only way. later...
Thanks for the advice. That part was from the third chapter in the tory and I did have some help with it. In regards to the beginning I feel its not strong enough currently hence why I haven't posted it as of yet, definitely needs some fine-tuning or maybe even a complete overhaul. However, I will take your advice and do my best to apply it to the rest of the story. Just have to keep writing something ever day, thanks for the support.
 

TotteryManx

cr. HP Master
I'm currently working on two stories to write. I have a whole process I must go through before I even write the first sentence. Ideas will randomly come to me throughout the day regarding how the story could develop, so I wait to exhaust all possible outcomes. In other words, I like to have the story finished before I even write one chapter and that is my tip to all inspiring writers; know where the story is going before you even write.

Before you begin to write your short story/novella/novel, or whatever, you should get out a pencil and notepad and write down the plot, the characters and their personalities, environment, time/year, etc. etc. Also, a lot of people come up with great ideas, but never take the time to actually do what is required. SITTING ON YOUR ASS and writing.
 
Ha. I like to let go occasionally and write without a clear direction. Sometimes it can take you to a place you thought you'd never end up. This can be good if you can improvise without changing key elements of your story, or the characters within it. Once I recognize a character saying and doing stuff that's incongruent with their past behavior....that's when a page of writing gets crumbled into a ball and tossed on the floor. i know that characters develop, but i think what they become has to be believable. This is probably a lot easier when writing fiction, but i could be wrong.
 

Art

Grave_Intent
Howdy everybody.
In the world of tabletop RPGs, there is a tool so powerful, only the fearless can guess why it's in PDF form.

...because it's that awesome.

Idk if you've heard about the Mythic solo RPG engine, but you can use it as a writing tool to keep even the author guessing as to how it happens.
To stay on track with the thread I'll link my blog, which contains my RPG writing.
theelegynovice.blogspot.com
I have worked on my own RPG for several years now and finally completed it a few months ago. A %based system of dark fantasy called "Dark Myth". I used images from the web for content so I don't think I can legally sell it. I would love to get people's OP on it however.
 

CCVengeance

The one guy hoping for Kai
Okay, this is awkward....
So, originally, Mr. Dust runs the Gauntlet was supposed to be a 4-part short story sample. In part 2 he fights an invisible fighter, in part 3 he fights a Smokeesque character and in part 4 he faces Tann. Think Game of Death meets the Red Viper fight.
Problem is, RL got in the way and when I got back to it I was just bored of it so I wont be writing the rest at least not for the foreseeable future.
Instead I have other ideas I will develop soon.
 

CCVengeance

The one guy hoping for Kai
Man this thread gets harder and harder to find. XD!
Something new:
A promise abandoned

It’d be better just to die, Smoke thought. If I die now I won’t have to keep fighting Mideus, I won’t have to kill him.

His body sank further and further into the lake, down below the fish, below the rocks, below all. It is better to perish than live without purpose. Mideus, if you die what would I do?

‘’You may not know it yet, Mr. Smoke, but you are among the most important people alive,’’ The golden haired woman’s words sprung into his mind. ‘’Above lords and kings and emperors. One day you will know this, your destiny is written in the stars.’’

Vixen, you never understood me, did you? The pain from his wounds ceased, he felt nothing now, except… I already knew, from the day I was born I knew my destiny. I ran from it, but in the end, we are the world’s puppets.

Smoke’s heart pounded furiously, deep with a burning sensation. He cleared his mind. Or perhaps you already knew. You cruel woman, you dared me to hope. Why did you? Was it punishment? Or…

Smoke suddenly drew breath. In his surprise he gasped rapidly. He felt his feet on solid ground as streams of water from his wet clothes cascaded to the ground. He looked around to meet the faces of dozens of dumbfounded assassins, confused as he was.

‘’How did I-,” Smoke said aloud, hoping for an explanation, but deep in his mind he already knew that answer.

’The Myriad,eh?,” A slight smile formed on his lips. ‘’So it was out of mercy, vixen?

‘’So you aren’t dead yet, my friend?’’ Mideus’ voice brought back Smoke to his current reality.

Smoke looked to a rising platform among the assassins. Mideus stood there, pure glee on his face. His blade still red with Smoke’s blood.

‘’Mideus,’’ Smoke’s words came out in like a calm breeze, tinged in sorrow and melancholy. ‘’We once made a promise, remember? We were children back then, but I still hold my vow to my heart.’’

‘’You,’’ Mideus’ expression morphed to that of childlike fear. ‘’What do you mean?’’

Smoke cracked a chuckle, as if this whole situation was no more than a babe’s mistake. ‘’Back then, I swore that if you ever needed my help, no matter how dire the situation, no matter how hopeless we became…’’

Smoke reached into The Myriad and began to draw power. ‘’I would save you!’’

‘’Hehe….,” Mideus whimpered out a laughed as he clenched his blade with anger. ‘’So how would you save me, eh?’’

‘’Through death, so I swear on my name,” Mist formed around Smoke.’’ The name of Ignamiz Smoke!’’

A pillar of ice rose around Smoke, the glittering ice causing the mass of killers to stumble back. Smoke summoned a blade of pure ice, white as the freshest snow, and teleported next to his oldest friend.

‘’Too bad, Smoke,’’ Mideus twisted around onto Smoke’s location and lounged his blade like a rapid lance. ‘’You can’t save me, no one can!’’

Smoke reached out to the blade and in an instant produce a scabbard along the blade’s edges. Mideus’ screamed out as his weapon became locked in Smoke’s hand.

Smoke looked into his friend’s eyes, a deep mixture of anger, pain and sadness within. He took a deep breath and swung.

Just before the blade touched Mideus’ neck Smoke saw a smile on his face. Mideus whispered a message. He could not hear it, but he swore his lips said ‘’Thank you, goodbye.’’

In one swift motion Mideus was decapitated, his headless corpse falling to the ground in a miserable thump.

For what seemed like an eternity, Smoke was blank. No breathing, no thinking, no feeling. But reality sunk, and Smoke gave out a spine chilling scream, a sound that reached beyond the lake and mountains and even the heavens themselves.

Smoke fell to his knees and wept. For his friend, for his enemy and for the curse that is his fate. He wept and wept, until the sound of footsteps reminded him he was not alone.

He looked around to face the remaining assassins. Some were sad, some confused. Most of them showed pure bloodlust towards him. Some didn’t even show any emotion, none at all. But the situation was clear: They wanted revenge.

“What will you do?,’’ Smoke said, his voice emotionless. “”Your leader is dead; you no longer have a purpose here.”

Smoke turned to face them. “Leave now, take your leader’s corpse for proper burial and never face me again.’’

Smoke took a small pause, deep in thought, and then continued. ‘’Or stay, fight for vengeance and die. Let me be clear, you might kill me, but it will cost you all your lives. What will you do?’’

Without hesitation the mob drew their weapons. Smoke gave a saddened smile. ‘’Very well…’’

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Entertaining CCV, but a bit confusing. I had to stop and think a lot about who was speaking. Glad people are still at it though. I'll try to evaluate your stuff more tomorrow........not because i think i'm great.....but to let you see what i'm thinking. :)
 
i finally finished my story too. i'm going to copy and paste the whole dam thing again with a simple request.

i have several, possibly OTT sexual encounters in the story. i'll direct readers where they are. what i'm asking is for you (plural) to tell me if they're indeed too much.

for example, what could be perceived as a child, hears the screams of a woman engaged in beastiality. she doesn't witness the act, but it occurs not far from her. i have reasons for the scene, and ways to lessen the impact, but it might be too graphic. i hope you'll tell me if such passages are or not.

i'm looking to repost in a few days, and am asking4 your input on this.
 

CCVengeance

The one guy hoping for Kai
Entertaining CCV, but a bit confusing. I had to stop and think a lot about who was speaking. Glad people are still at it though. I'll try to evaluate your stuff more tomorrow........not because i think i'm great.....but to let you see what i'm thinking. :)
Looking forward to it. Cant write anymore bc my pc is busted(currently on a tablet unfit for writing).
 
I read it once again, but honestly......without any background on the characters, i just can't comment much. i like it. i need to know more though. :)

i dont know enough about Smoke, Vixen, Mideus, the Myriad?, and the motivations of them.

Smoke gets power from the Myriad. Vixen is what to him? How did killing Mideus 'save' him?

There's just not enough for me to work with yet.
 

CCVengeance

The one guy hoping for Kai
I read it once again, but honestly......without any background on the characters, i just can't comment much. i like it. i need to know more though. :)

i dont know enough about Smoke, Vixen, Mideus, the Myriad?, and the motivations of them.

Smoke gets power from the Myriad. Vixen is what to him? How did killing Mideus 'save' him?

There's just not enough for me to work with yet.
Well to be honest I'm looking for feedback on structure and writing style as opposed to plot. TBH even I dont know where Im going with it LOL. BTW he calls her vixen as an insult.
 
Anybody got some new reading material? My editor told me that if I didn't make any major changes, his edit would probably be the same as before, so I'm not getting it editted again. I'm going to sweep for typos one last time, number the pages, prepare what I need, send it out some places, and see what happens. I might try some erotic fiction publishers too.
 
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