Crazy Stories Thread

[pickle keeper]

This happened today, right after I read this thread and wondered how all this shit happens to people.
So my dads getting remarried in Atlantic City, and we're there with all of the family, everything goes well, so now we're leaving and I'm in charge lf carrying the boquet and a bag that says "love" on the side. As we are leaving I get seperated from the pack, and I end up alone on the boardwal with these things. So I'm standing there in my suit holding this stuff when these 4 drunks from the south start giving me shit for getting stood up. I don't say much, there clearly hammered, the two that did the most talking looked like a redneck fabio, no shirt and all, and the other was like an uglier Rosie o'donnel. They keep mumbling what I assume are insults when a bunch old women come to my aid, proceeding to call me adorable and shaming the rednecks. While this is going on, I slide away unnotticed. I'm pretty sure there was a fistfight over it.

 

[Cossner]

I wasn't sure about sharing this one but why not

I was working as a cashier in Walgreens and my mom came in. She didn't even notice me, and I hadn't seen her in a few weeks, and after 10 or so minutes she came up to the register. I had to ring up condoms, frosting, and red bull. She just plopped them down on the counter, fished out her credit card, and then looked up at me. I didn't know what to do so I just hid my face and rang her order up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[STB Sgt Reed]

FrothyOmen

THIS IS THE BEST POST EVAR!!!!

 

[Hobozzzx]

Another one of mine.

So my grandparents had finally gotten internet at their house (this was like, 8 years ago) and I'm over there with my parents and sister. So I'm using the computer and my grandpa comes up and says to me "Hey, can you go to the Black's website for me? I wanna check the price on a camera." (Black's as in the photography store). Neither of us new what the actual website was, so instead of doing the logical thing and googling it, he suggests trying just blacks.com. Not even thinking, I type it in. Once the page loaded, we turned to face each other with no expression at all, and quickly closed the window (ended up being a black porn site lmao).

Ever since that day, I google EVERY website I want to go to. No exceptions.

 

[ETC AdmiralAugustus]

Telling your friend you had sex with his mom


PM me for nudies

 

[STB Sgt Reed]

Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

For some reason... I lmao'd at this! XD

 

[STB Sgt Reed]

Telling your friend you had sex with his mom


PM me for nudies

Obviously, a trap.

 

[FrothyOmen]

You guys remember that girl from my OP? She just set her facebook status to "in a relationship"... wtf? How do you go from sending me ass pics to dating somebody in under 12 hours lmao. #whitegirls

 

[DragonPick]

You guys remember that girl from my OP? She just set her facebook status to "in a relationship"... wtf? How do you go from sending me ass pics to dating somebody in under 12 hours lmao. #whitegirls

You looked at her booty. I'm surprised you guyy aren't married already

 

[Derpin Errday]

DBZ was very popular when I was little. Me and a group of kids used to play "DBZ" during recess, which basically consisted of us roleplaying a character from the show, and throwing fake punches at each other without making physical contact. Yeah, I slipped and punched a kid square in the face. He fell to the ground and cried. I got detention.

Did you all just stand there for three hours at a time screaming "HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"?

 

[STB Sgt Reed]

So, nothing as fascinating as shitting myself or anything, but when I was like 10 or something I was riding in a church van with my friend's dad (he was driving) and a few other kids and they were all singing or rhyming with the fictional name of "georgie porgie" (or however you spell it) and being the awesome rhymer that I am, I yelled out, "Georgie Porgie had an orgy!!!"

You shoulda seen the shock on the driver's face! And apparently one of the kids knew what an orgy was and was all... "don't talk about things you don't know about, geez!!!"

I was just like, "whatever dude, you're just jealous I can rhyme better than you!"

 

[Gruntypants]

This isn't really awkward or strange but last thursday during a very boring pre calc class I was doodling on the back of my notes. I drew a picture of a dick but disguised it to look somewhat like a face, also right next to it was a picture of dickbutt. Anyways, the teacher was explaining the laws of logarithms and I think and I whispered to my friend next to me, "hey dude, check this out haha". My friend starts cracking up and the teacher comes over and snatches my notes out of my hand, He flips the notebook and takes a good hard look at my drawings. He puts my notebook under the elmo (camera projector) and exclaims, "look at these beautiful pictures Alex drew for Chris" as my drawings are being projected onto a large screen in front of the class where everyone can see it. Everyone but the teacher erupts into laughter for a good 3 minutes. When the laughter dies down I receive my notebook back and class resumes as usual.

Here is my best (not really) recreation of what I drew in my notebook:

 

[AestheticLove]

Hitoshura i almost gagged at your story, what the fuck is a "shit ore" ugggh hah drunk stories are the best [:

 

[NRF CharlieMurphy]

You guys remember that girl from my OP? She just set her facebook status to "in a relationship"... wtf? How do you go from sending me ass pics to dating somebody in under 12 hours lmao. #whitegirls

you sure you didn't propose or something?
you clearly are in the texting relationship phase. You'll like it.

 

[YOMI Trepound380]

This happened today, right after I read this thread and wondered how all this shit happens to people.
So my dads getting remarried in Atlantic City, and we're there with all of the family, everything goes well, so now we're leaving and I'm in charge lf carrying the boquet and a bag that says "love" on the side. As we are leaving I get seperated from the pack, and I end up alone on the boardwal with these things. So I'm standing there in my suit holding this stuff when these 4 drunks from the south start giving me shit for getting stood up. I don't say much, there clearly hammered, the two that did the most talking looked like a redneck fabio, no shirt and all, and the other was like an uglier Rosie o'donnel. They keep mumbling what I assume are insults when a bunch old women come to my aid, proceeding to call me adorable and shaming the rednecks. While this is going on, I slide away unnotticed. I'm pretty sure there was a fistfight over it.

thats atlantic city for you lol

 

[Gesture Required Ahead]

Another story I have.Not too long so it's not really THAT awkward.

I was in the train station last year it's winter time so everyone's waiting in the inside part of it.I'm there on my phone on twitter when I suddenly needed the urge to fart.I normally fart silent-but-deadly but for some reason it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.

So I fart loud-and-proud still on Twitter and I see in my peripheral(sp?) vision that everyone is staring at me.I ignore and wait for the train and when it did came the person who was standing next to me says "We don't have time right now but I'll teach you a trick to fart silently if ever I see you again".

 

[quandaghost]

wait i missed something

This happened in a bathroom, back room or what? I read it wrong i guess cause i pictured this like she was sitting in the restaurant where customers are

The one I used to work at in High School had two lobbies, but we close one down around 8. So I was over there having to clean it.

 

[Hobozzzx]

Alright this one didn't happen to me, but to a friend of mine on XBL.

So I'm on xbl talking with him and he says to me "I'm gonna run downstairs and check my mail since I haven't yet today". Since it was the middle of the summer time and it was hot, he wasn't wearing a shirt. So he just decides to go downstairs shirtless (he lives in an apartment building). So he's checking his mail and he sees the "manliest black man the he has ever seen (with a 5 o'clock shadow), wearing a dress". The black guy taps him on the shoulder and says "Hey honey, you're pretty cute". My friend replies "Can I help you?". The black guy replies "We're looking for cuties like you to join our gay orgy" (he had some friends with him, all male). My friend asks if he was serious and the black guy says yes. My friend says "Excuse me a moment" then proceeds to run like hell back to his room, where he tells me this story.

I also have another one that happened to one of my friends that involved a half-naked fat guy, a luchador mask and a couple of very young children that I'm debating on posting.

 

[DragonPick]

Alright this one didn't happen to me, but to a friend of mine on XBL.

So I'm on xbl talking with him and he says to me "I'm gonna run downstairs and check my mail since I haven't yet today". Since it was the middle of the summer time and it was hot, he wasn't wearing a shirt. So he just decides to go downstairs shirtless (he lives in an apartment building). So he's checking his mail and he sees the "manliest black man the he has ever seen (with a 5 o'clock shadow), wearing a dress". The black guy taps him on the shoulder and says "Hey honey, you're pretty cute". My friend replies "Can I help you?". The black guy replies "We're looking for cuties like you to join our gay orgy" (he had some friends with him, all male). My friend asks if he was serious and the black guy says yes. My friend says "Excuse me a moment" then proceeds to run like hell back to his room, where he tells me this story.

I also have another one that happened to one of my friends that involved a half-naked fat guy, a luchador mask and a couple of very young children that I'm debating on posting.

People are that forward >_>

 

[quandaghost]

People are that forward >_>

You would be surprised like this one time I was working at Mcdonalds, this hot chick just drops a fry between her breast and ask me if I could get it for her..... so i did and I ate the fry. She then made out with me for all of 10 seconds, and I got her phone number. I found out she went to SC state, and well we know what happened from here. Long story short things happen. Now you guys know why my old scene used to call me ho

 

[Smarrgasm]

You would be surprised like this one time I was working at Mcdonalds, this hot chick just drops a fry between her breast and ask me if I could get it for her..... so i did and I ate the fry. She then made out with me for all of 10 seconds, and I got her phone number. I found out she went to SC state, and well we know what happened from here. Long story short things happen. Now you guys know why my old scene used to call me ho

Fryboob?

 

[quandaghost]

Fryboob?

Fryboob (nods)

 

[London Lust]

I was joining an online game of Left 4 Dead when I hear these 2 mexican girls talking about how they got cum in their eye once. Then they started talking about how it made their eyes all blurry and stuff lol. Everyone was laughing too hard to play xD

Then I was playing the finale of another L4D game and we were pretty much raping the other team when some guy who's obviously a troll comes on our team. He starts talking about how his life is terrible and that he pays cheap Somalian whores but they still won't f*** him lol. Then he starts screaming in pain and says that he's shoving a 10 inch dildo up his ass xD omg that was the funniest gaming moment ever. I've met some interesting characters on L4D lol.

 

[HGTV Soapboxfan]

YOU PIECE OF SHIT I LOVE DASHIEXP!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL the thread reminded me of the vid, I had to do it.. I love dashie too haha, I was gonna post the video if nobody realized it by tonight. You gotta love the slight adaptation to the mk scene though, and the bunch o cinnammon squares is an inside joke between some of my friends.

 

[Hitoshura]

Hitoshura i almost gagged at your story, what the fuck is a "shit ore" ugggh hah drunk stories are the best [:

Lol you ever play minecraft or terraria? Well you mine ore and stuff in those game and i felt like adding the word "ore" next o shit to add humor and gag factor.

Guess it worked