Crazy Stories Thread

[FrothyOmen]

And then she sprinted away.

You should probably send me her number. I think we'd get along really well, constantly running from one another

 

[Chongo]

In gym class a year ago, me and 4 other kids were put into a group. We had this really bitchy bitch in our group, so none of us were really happy. We had to do an exercise where we threw a BasketBall to eachother. Meanwhile, I'm remembering all of the stuff this whore said about me, and I start getting really angry. Time comes when I have the ball, and I realize that shes not paying attention to me, shes talking to her friend. I pray to god I wouldn't get in that much trouble, and I threw the ball as hard as I could. It hit her right in the face. Bitch goes down and starts crying. I start heaving with laughter.


1 week detention. Worth it.

 

[Hobozzzx]

Grade 9 gym class, for around 2 weeks we did a wrestling unit (mostly sock wrestling). For a couple of those days we had to do Grecko-Roman wrestling. Well, my teacher liked to mess with people, so he put me who was the smallest person in the class (about 5'5", 100 lbs) against the biggest person in our class (6'4", 250 lbs).

Thankfully the matches were only 30 seconds long, but that was 30 seconds of my running like a little bitch, cursing out other people in my class/ my teacher, and everyone calling me a pussy for running away.

What made it really awkward though, was right before the match started, the girls gym class came walking in and decided to watch

 

[Enenra]

So here's another

I was in batting practice, not really paying attention and joking with the guys, when the guy who was up batting crushed me in the left side of my face. I had a gdlk concussion and he damn near shattered my face.

A week and a half later, I was going to the doctor to see how my face was healing and if my concussion was all right enough to do PT. The doctor was a decent looking female, about a 7 or 8, and I swear she said, "Ok, Please put your pants away." Being all retarded and concussed I was like k and took my pants off. She looks up from her clipboard and says, "No no please put your phone away." So I put my phone away in my pant's pocket but didn't put my pants on. I just sat down without a care in the world, dick hanging out for a head exam.

 

[FrothyOmen]

So here's another

I was in batting practice, not really paying attention and joking with the guys, when the guy who was up batting crushed me in the left side of my face. I had a gdlk concussion and he damn near shattered my face.

A week and a half later, I was going to the doctor to see how my face was healing and if my concussion was all right enough to do PT. The doctor was a decent looking female, about a 7 or 8, and I swear she said, "Ok, Please put your pants away." Being all retarded and concussed I was like k and took my pants off. She looks up from her clipboard and says, "No no please put your phone away." So I put my phone away in my pant's pocket but didn't put my pants on. I just sat down without a care in the world, dick hanging out for a head exam.

LOL

 

[xSMoKEx]

Gym class, grade 9 (freshman) year. Now let me just start off by saying that by no means am i any good at volleyball, remember that lol.

Insert douchebag kid #1, who even the teacher hates at times. He's being a smartass standing where the ref is supposed to be, on the tower by the side of the net. Even though i suck at volleyball, i decide to go for the over hand serve. The ball came straight off and my hand and flew for said kid's face and, as it turns out i have a very hard (but innacurate) serve lmao. So the ball pegs the kid straight in the face, he's red as a tomato and i swear he's going down, and every single kid was just laughing, even the teacher.

didn't get in shit or anything, we were literally just in tears for a good 5 minutes. Needless to say the kid wasn't much of a smartass anymore haha.

 

[Shadow316]

dick hanging out for a head exam.

Ohhhhhhh, I get it

 

[Gesture Required Ahead]

36 year old woman called me when i was 13 while i was playing doom 2 on KALI at 12am and wanted phone sex

thats the jest and ill leave it at that

Had a similar story back when I was 11 playing Luminary (used to be on Ijji.com, not anymore)

And you know how there are big RPers and cyber sexers in those type of games?This 30-ish year old overweight woman wanted to cyber with me because I said I was 18(lol)

...I accepted...


she sent me "sm3xyy pix" from her MySpace and then I told myself I will never play an MMORPG ever again.And a month later I saw on MSN news that a Pedo was caught on Club Penguin another game I also used to play.

 

[Faded Dreams V]

This has nothing to do with me (somewhat), but in 12th grade, I was annoying my friend by flicking him with paper balls in the library. You know, cause I'm a douchebag. Eventually, he picks up a paper ball, and throws it really hard at me. Only it missed and hit this Asian girl who was studying right behind me right in the face. He became pale, and I had to leave the premises before I bursted out laughing in front of the girl's face.

 

[OZZYGUITAR]

1.this thread is too funny
2. Something really awkward happened to me right b4 school started this year, So all of these girls were super desperate to get a bf b4 school started, so i started getting facebook messages from all these single girls, while i had a gf. So one girl requested me and we had like 30 mutual friends so i was like alrite ill accept. So she messages me and it goes like this:
Girl: Hey
Me: whats up?
Girl: ur cute, js
Me: uh thanks?
Girl(2 hrs later): sorry that was my friend lol
Me: o ok its cool
Girl: U r cute tho
Me: Yea my girlfriend thinks so too
Girl: oooo u have a girlfriend?
Me:Yea do u?
Girl: Haha no, ur funny, have u ever had 2 girlfriends?
Me: Have you ever been hunted down by a masked man with a spear and the ability to raise fire from the ground....
Girl: Noooooo butt tht sounds kinky
Me: 0.0 can u do me a huge favor and stay away from me, forever...
Girl: yyy?
Me(i didnt know what to say then so..): C*** BREATHED BI***
Girl:?!
Never talked to her again, saw her in the hallway...awkward

 

[aj1701]

Fuck now I'm horny

What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[BillStickers]

What the hell is wrong with you?

Nothing now; blew a huge wad fappin to that story.

 

[BookBurning]

Cant remember if i ever shared this before

Ok this one is very MK related but funny as hell when it happened:

Everyone remember TRUKING? He's my buddy who lived in atlanta and dominated at mkdc and umk3 so when he moved to Oregon i didnt realize he changed his cell phone number so i kept txting his old # thinking it was him i was txting

I quickly picked up on it when I got a "Who Dis?" response so i instantly as you can read began some fun.

FTR Truking would never ever ever say "Who Dis?" hence the "Love me" question i sent to i guess "her" to get maximum response and legs in conversation. I was hoping it go BF route

The rest is below

Please pay attention to times and dates because it happened three times i think because i kept txting the wrong #

FATOUMATA!

That name.. Lmao.

 

[Qwark28]

When i was in 2nd grade i had remembered that in kindergarden i touched my dick a lot and it felt weird

next day in 2nd grade i was flashing other kids in the classroom when the teacher couldn't see me

but they found out and called my mom

 

[HGTV Soapboxfan]

So right before ECT i was staying at a friends house. I woke up in the morning, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast, because you know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the dy.All he seems to have is a cereal called "Bunch o' Cinnamon Squares" so I start pouring it into a bowl. Suddenly, this big ass motherfucking rat pops out of the box! Like, Master splinter from the ninja turtles size rat.
So I ate that bitch.
Now, at this point, I hear a squeek come from the cereal box. I look inside and see a little baby rat, staring up at me. Thats right! The motherfucking rat had a family.
So I ate that bitch too.
Now, I wanted to go for a morning walk. So, as I walk down the street, I trip on an uneven piece of sidealk. Now, I cant go down like that, so I play it off like I decided to jog. When I see that no one is around, i continue walking. Suddenly, BOOOM, I get hit by a sniper bullet, right in the shoulder. I find cover, then try to look at my wound. But that shit is gone. Thats when I realize, I am in a bed. It was all a dream. So i get up, and realize that my friend has my mk disc. i gotta practice for ect, so i know I have to get that from his room. I go in, and my friends girl is in there. She had just gotten out of the shower, so she only had a towel, and she was glistening a little bit. At first I try to leave, but she begs me to stay. Just then, my friend tackles me from behind, punching me in the face over and over, yelling that "NOBODY TOUCHES MY BUNCH O' CINNAMON SQUARES!"

I swear its true. HGTV DrFlash44 OZZYGUITAR

 

[Shadow316]

When i was in 2nd grade i had remembered that in kindergarden i touched my dick a lot and it felt weird

next day i was flashing other kids in the classroom when the teacher couldn't see me

but they found out and called my mom

LBSH... This wasn't kindergarten, was it...?

 

[Qwark28]

LBSH... This wasn't kindergarten, was it...?

2nd grade

 

[Shadow316]

2nd grade

You... But... I...

YOU RUINED MY JOKE !

 

[Cossner]

The day me and my family were going to get our Visas I fell from the stairs, I got my face messed up with bruises and blood. They say they'll take me to the hospital, so there I go, unshowered, in sports pants with a just-woke up hair. My dad decides there's not enough time to go to the hospital and the visas, so he decides to hit the road for a 2 hour trip to the embassy. So I was there, sitting in a crowded office in almost pijamas with a fucked up face. Best Visa picture ever.

PS: we never went to the hospital, now my nose looks different and there's like a small gap in my forehead.

 

[FrothyOmen]

The day me and my family were going to get our Visas I fell from the stairs, I get my face messed up with bruises and blood. They say they'll take me to the hospital, so there I go, unshowered, in sports pants with a just-woke up hair. My dad decides there's not enough time to go to the hospital and the visas, so he decides to hit the road for a 2 hour trip to the embassy. So I was there, sitting in a crowded office in almost pijamas with a fucked up face. Best Visa picture ever.

so where's the picture

 

[Cossner]

so where's the picture

If you go to Dallas I'll show it to you.

 

[HGTV DrFlash44]

So right before ECT i was staying at a friends house. I woke up in the morning, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast, because you know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the dy.All he seems to have is a cereal called "Bunch o' Cinnamon Squares" so I start pouring it into a bowl. Suddenly, this big ass motherfucking rat pops out of the box! Like, Master splinter from the ninja turtles size rat.
So I ate that bitch.
Now, at this point, I hear a squeek come from the cereal box. I look inside and see a little baby rat, staring up at me. Thats right! The motherfucking rat had a family.
So I ate that bitch too.
Now, I wanted to go for a morning walk. So, as I walk down the street, I trip on an uneven piece of sidealk. Now, I cant go down like that, so I play it off like I decided to jog. When I see that no one is around, i continue walking. Suddenly, BOOOM, I get hit by a sniper bullet, right in the shoulder. I find cover, then try to look at my wound. But that shit is gone. Thats when I realize, I am in a bed. It was all a dream. So i get up, and realize that my friend has my mk disc. i gotta practice for ect, so i know I have to get that from his room. I go in, and my friends girl is in there. She had just gotten out of the shower, so she only had a towel, and she was glistening a little bit. At first I try to leave, but she begs me to stay. Just then, my friend tackles me from behind, punching me in the face over and over, yelling that "NOBODY TOUCHES MY BUNCH O' CINNAMON SQUARES!"

I swear its true. HGTV DrFlash44 OZZYGUITAR

I can vouch for this

 

[Espio]

Gym class is where all the crazy shenanigans go down I see lol.

 

[HGTV DrFlash44]

Ok so my brother posted an awesome fb status and said guess how many like I got on it. I go 48 randomly. It was 48 and he still doesn't believe me that I didn't look.

 

[OZZYGUITAR]

So right before ECT i was staying at a friends house. I woke up in the morning, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast, because you know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the dy.All he seems to have is a cereal called "Bunch o' Cinnamon Squares" so I start pouring it into a bowl. Suddenly, this big ass motherfucking rat pops out of the box! Like, Master splinter from the ninja turtles size rat.
So I ate that bitch.
Now, at this point, I hear a squeek come from the cereal box. I look inside and see a little baby rat, staring up at me. Thats right! The motherfucking rat had a family.
So I ate that bitch too.
Now, I wanted to go for a morning walk. So, as I walk down the street, I trip on an uneven piece of sidealk. Now, I cant go down like that, so I play it off like I decided to jog. When I see that no one is around, i continue walking. Suddenly, BOOOM, I get hit by a sniper bullet, right in the shoulder. I find cover, then try to look at my wound. But that shit is gone. Thats when I realize, I am in a bed. It was all a dream. So i get up, and realize that my friend has my mk disc. i gotta practice for ect, so i know I have to get that from his room. I go in, and my friends girl is in there. She had just gotten out of the shower, so she only had a towel, and she was glistening a little bit. At first I try to leave, but she begs me to stay. Just then, my friend tackles me from behind, punching me in the face over and over, yelling that "NOBODY TOUCHES MY BUNCH O' CINNAMON SQUARES!"

I swear its true. HGTV DrFlash44 OZZYGUITAR

U ATE THE RAT???