...so its like 8AM and I get a call from my friend saying an emergency came up that needed my attention so I left my house in mah pajamas and stuff.
Walking to my friend's place a car pulls up to me and this old guy inside me asks me if I know where some store is located. Me being the wonderful good samaritan of all time decides to tell him and out of nowhere I hear:
"Hey you're really cute give me your number I'd love to take you out to dinner." It was like if a truck hit me outta nowhere and I literally just left and walked on the opposite side of the street.
When I got to my friends place I was like freaking out and I felt all gross and stuff
So this is where it gets freaky last year I'm on my way to the bus station to go to school like a good kid and some guy in a bike that is obviously an immigrant (where I live 99.9% of bike riders over the age of 25 are immigrants so yeah )asks me if I know where a grocery store is in Spanish and since I'm thinking "hey this guy must have it kinda rough being a Spanish only-speaker" so I tell him where to go.
Then outta nowhere he says that he has to tell me something and not to get mad and I'm thinking thousands of things ranging from being on a hidden camera show, to me like having ripped pants or something....and I tell him to tell me and he's tells me that he's gay and wants to take me to his place and once he said that I once again like with the last guy get outta there ASAP.
Ever since then I started arrying around a miniature baseball bat since I know I'd get overpowered if worst comes to worst
I can laugh about it now but maaaaaaaaaan I feel like a cheap hooker who is asking for it ;_;
And between you and me, something amazing happened... and now I can talk to animals. It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same! lol no but really this happened and its awkward haha
-At my girlfriend's dad's house last night hanging out. Her parents are recently divorced so they're both still salty, but have a 13 year old daughter (my gf's sister) so they still have to like... communicate and shit.
-We hear her sister and mom come in so we come out of my gf's room
-Gf's mom asks gf how school is going
-Gf responds "kicking my butt"
-Gf's mom responds "At least you dont have to work full time while going to school full time. I mean that's what your dad did, not to mention he had 3 kids at home, a wife, AND A GIRLFRIEND"
-I see gf's dad facepalm and I run outside
So it's New Years Eve a couple of years ago. I'm chilling at a friends house, there's a mini party going on. We are all drinking. Not just beers or light liquor, heavy drinking like there's no tomorrow. We're all playing poker, the music is going, we're laughing and having a great time. I have a cup full of straight Bailey's Irish Cream, soo good. I win a big hand, and slam my hand on the table, my drink spills all over the kitchen floor. Keep in mind, I'm close to black out drunk at this point. Everyone is laughing, and I'm looking down at the Baileys flowing on the white kitchen floor with a profoundly sad look on my face.
So I did what anyone in my position would have done. I got down on the floor, and drank the delicious Irish cream off of the ground. While the other looked shocked, amazed and were speechless. I stood up, said "stay free" and they died laughing while I sat there smiling like an idiot.
and i swear to god if your playing cryax now
