Lulzlou
Noob
As some of you know I suffer from depression. It has been getting worse as time moved on but the good thing is I'm finally trying different medication to help battle it. And no, I never think about hurting myself or plan to do so. The medication I'm taking now is definitely helping. I've been thinking what will help me not slip back into another depressive episode and not playing fighting games was on the top of my list.
The reasons I play are;
Something to be proud of later down the line
Meet awesome people
Be a part of something
Get props. Video games are literally the only thing I'm good at. So working really hard and having people notice is an awesome feeling.
Don't have many friends outside the gaming life and I wasn't exactly popular in highschool, sort have been bullied but that was just verbal. It didn't affect me at all emotionally because I was able to ignore it and not give a shit. Being apart of this community really helped me become a bit more social. If you ever played with me you'd probably notice I don't say much.
The problem I have with depression and fighting games is the lost of interest in practicing, which has been the case about 8months into me starting out. Its been a constant roller coaster and I've realized its not worth it. If I can't play at my best then there is no point in me playing since practicing is extremely hard. You can say that I can just play casually but that isn't the type of gamer I am. I find it impossible for me to play a game casually. Even when I try to I always end up putting a lot of time into it. Its frustrating having random bursts of motivation then have it taken away not to long after.
Being a part of tournaments, TYM and playing with the local guys has really helped me get through depression. I honestly don't want to quit for good but for now I am. Maybe in about a year I'll be settled in with medication and stay consistently in a good mood. Some of you may understand if you know people that take medication for things like that or take them yourselves. Changing doses and hopping on to different meds is terrible.
I still don't think I've proved myself in MK and couldn't get into Injustice because of depression. Putting that all behind really brings weight off my shoulders.
I have to give some people a big thanks because without them I wouldn't have got to where I am at.
FlipinFlava
For bringing me into the NOVA casuals and for helping me learn the game. You didn't have to keep playing with me but you did even when I had no idea what I was doing.
N0rdicNinja
For helping me out when I messaged you about some stuff and hosting awesome local tournaments. Going to my first tournament really helped me see the direction I should be heading in.
Blackula
For blowing me up bad. I still will never forget the constant babies with Jade. Letting me stay the weekend down there was awesome and I learned so much. Beating you for the first time in tournament was a huge accomplishment for me.
rev0lver
For forever being my master. I don't think I will ever have the chance to play you in tournament again. You and xKhaoTik were the reason I hate playing the kitana match up. I had a lot of fun playing it but it was sure frustrating.
astronout
For helping me out with literally everything. I probably wouldn't have kept playing if you didn't come to our meet ups. I can't even thank you enough for everything you helped me with.
Mr Aquaman and Srryimwhte
I have to combine you both because its about the same. You guys are one of the reasons I got to where I was. Sticking with me and believing in me when I started to doubt myself was awesome. I played the most broken character and you guys looked past that. For awhile I thought it was Kabal doing all of the work and I was just a bad player.
Tom Brady
For giving me advice, guidance and pushing me into the right direction. The way you talked about the way I practice helped me stay on track with it. I wish depression didn't bring me to the point where I rarely practiced. I always looked forward to going down to Blackula's when I heard you'd be there.
jamessmk
For hosting OBS, even though I haven't watched it in forever. Those tuesdays nights helped me so much with getting through the night. I always ended up staying up until it ended. Had a good laugh almost everytime. Glad I was able to be apart of it.
R.E.O.
For playing me seriously when we played (assuming you did). Playing the kabal mirrors the three times I've played you were great. Definitely learned a lot because I beat every other kabal I played in tournament.
AK Pig Of The Hut
Even though I didn't get to play you in tournament, the sets you had with me were exciting. Had a moment where I thought kabal gave no fucks about kenshi but you and blackula put me in my place lol. Thank you for giving me a place to stay during MLG Dallas. That is an experience I will never forget. I was in the middle of an episode while I was there but it didn't affect me as much being around everyone.
Also to everyone else that I knew on here and all the online warriors , thank you.
I've been stopping myself from making this thread for over a week now because I don't want it to look like Im looking for attention. I decide to yolo and post it since it has been bugging me a lot.
If any of you want to keep in touch;
https://www.facebook.com/lxriverao.o
Skype - SpunkyTofu
Steam - LulzLou
571 659 1221
edit; I'm at work so I'll reply to you guys when I get off tonight
The reasons I play are;
Something to be proud of later down the line
Meet awesome people
Be a part of something
Get props. Video games are literally the only thing I'm good at. So working really hard and having people notice is an awesome feeling.
Don't have many friends outside the gaming life and I wasn't exactly popular in highschool, sort have been bullied but that was just verbal. It didn't affect me at all emotionally because I was able to ignore it and not give a shit. Being apart of this community really helped me become a bit more social. If you ever played with me you'd probably notice I don't say much.
The problem I have with depression and fighting games is the lost of interest in practicing, which has been the case about 8months into me starting out. Its been a constant roller coaster and I've realized its not worth it. If I can't play at my best then there is no point in me playing since practicing is extremely hard. You can say that I can just play casually but that isn't the type of gamer I am. I find it impossible for me to play a game casually. Even when I try to I always end up putting a lot of time into it. Its frustrating having random bursts of motivation then have it taken away not to long after.
Being a part of tournaments, TYM and playing with the local guys has really helped me get through depression. I honestly don't want to quit for good but for now I am. Maybe in about a year I'll be settled in with medication and stay consistently in a good mood. Some of you may understand if you know people that take medication for things like that or take them yourselves. Changing doses and hopping on to different meds is terrible.
I still don't think I've proved myself in MK and couldn't get into Injustice because of depression. Putting that all behind really brings weight off my shoulders.
I have to give some people a big thanks because without them I wouldn't have got to where I am at.
FlipinFlava
For bringing me into the NOVA casuals and for helping me learn the game. You didn't have to keep playing with me but you did even when I had no idea what I was doing.
N0rdicNinja
For helping me out when I messaged you about some stuff and hosting awesome local tournaments. Going to my first tournament really helped me see the direction I should be heading in.
Blackula
For blowing me up bad. I still will never forget the constant babies with Jade. Letting me stay the weekend down there was awesome and I learned so much. Beating you for the first time in tournament was a huge accomplishment for me.
rev0lver
For forever being my master. I don't think I will ever have the chance to play you in tournament again. You and xKhaoTik were the reason I hate playing the kitana match up. I had a lot of fun playing it but it was sure frustrating.
astronout
For helping me out with literally everything. I probably wouldn't have kept playing if you didn't come to our meet ups. I can't even thank you enough for everything you helped me with.
Mr Aquaman and Srryimwhte
I have to combine you both because its about the same. You guys are one of the reasons I got to where I was. Sticking with me and believing in me when I started to doubt myself was awesome. I played the most broken character and you guys looked past that. For awhile I thought it was Kabal doing all of the work and I was just a bad player.
Tom Brady
For giving me advice, guidance and pushing me into the right direction. The way you talked about the way I practice helped me stay on track with it. I wish depression didn't bring me to the point where I rarely practiced. I always looked forward to going down to Blackula's when I heard you'd be there.
jamessmk
For hosting OBS, even though I haven't watched it in forever. Those tuesdays nights helped me so much with getting through the night. I always ended up staying up until it ended. Had a good laugh almost everytime. Glad I was able to be apart of it.
R.E.O.
For playing me seriously when we played (assuming you did). Playing the kabal mirrors the three times I've played you were great. Definitely learned a lot because I beat every other kabal I played in tournament.
AK Pig Of The Hut
Even though I didn't get to play you in tournament, the sets you had with me were exciting. Had a moment where I thought kabal gave no fucks about kenshi but you and blackula put me in my place lol. Thank you for giving me a place to stay during MLG Dallas. That is an experience I will never forget. I was in the middle of an episode while I was there but it didn't affect me as much being around everyone.
Also to everyone else that I knew on here and all the online warriors , thank you.
I've been stopping myself from making this thread for over a week now because I don't want it to look like Im looking for attention. I decide to yolo and post it since it has been bugging me a lot.
If any of you want to keep in touch;
https://www.facebook.com/lxriverao.o
Skype - SpunkyTofu
Steam - LulzLou
571 659 1221
edit; I'm at work so I'll reply to you guys when I get off tonight
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