Hey MT, hope you're still reading replies. You should know, depression and anxiety are pretty common things that a lot of people go through from time to time--some more than others, but it's not a sign that you're broken. There are good treatments for these things that
do work--you just have to give them a chance and things will get better. Put some faith in that.
A lot of folks deal with really dark spots too. You may have thought about hurting yourself or ending your life. Make a contract with yourself to
not make any decisions in times like that. Instead, commit to getting up and moving around, maybe exercise if you want, but mostly just get moving, go outside if you can, burn off some of that energy, and put off any decisions until later. Some exercise and a good night's sleep will always help you feel better.
And if you still feel like you want to hurt yourself after that, commit to reaching out and talking to someone first. You can always reach someone at the
National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1-800-273-8255. Sometimes a good listener is exactly what you need, so give it a chance.
Outside of that, the best advice I can offer, my friend, is to find some ways to be around people face-to-face. I know the internet is easier, but it's no substitute. You don't need to give up social media, but don't expect it to feel like real friendship. There are people here who do care (you can see that), but we can't be in the room with you.
Try to find people who share your interests. Join a gaming club or something like that. Volunteer work is also a great way to get out and meet good, friendly people. You said you liked being outdoors, so find something that gets you outside and moving--walk dogs for your local shelter, help repair hiking trails, pick up litter, whatever.
Stay hopeful and look forward. Things can always get better if you break out of your routine and try new things.