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Dealing with rage

xKMMx

Banned
I hate to admit this but I have literally broken controllers due to rage during a game. ITs been a while since ive gone that far. Now if I start feeling triggered I just stop playing. IT aint worth it and it doesn't matter.
 

Dankster Morgan

It is better this way
I get mad if I lose to Sonya doing like 400 damage bc I guessed wrong, or because a lag spike made me drop my combo then I get punished and lose, I foam at the mouth any time I play Johnny pretty much and half my moves whiff
 
So, before I say anything, I'm not here to invalidate your anger. I've been pissed like this too and I know it's not as easy as "it doesn't matter bro" when you're just super frustrated because you KNEW that Erron Black motherfucker was going to FB and you fell for that bullshit anyway.

I think what helps me is to reframe the losses. Like, if you're competing, you drop a combo, and you lose out on money because of it, the lesson you learn isn't worth the lost money. But when you're playing at home, every round you get your ass kicked, especially when it's by some cheap shit, is a great way for you to take a step back and look at your game. Were you pissed off already, got hasty, didn't respect your opponent's turn and got the business end of a full kombo? I'm definitely guilty of that. Did you smirk and count a W when you realized that your Scorpion opponent mashes teleport, but you lost because you forgot you still have to take it seriously? I just did that. But the nice thing is you get to learn that for free and then move on.

I'm a pretty bad player, but I think viewing online as a great way to highlight what I need to work on took all the stress, anxiety, and anger away. If you take an outside view and separate yourself from your shortcomings, it becomes much easier to start eliminating them dispassionately.
 

Jynks

some heroes are born, some made, some wondrous
Rage is usually caused by a kind of self-dillusion I call an "I could-a!" moment. Basically, most people rage due to being unable to accept the fact they just got outplayed. So they try and twist their brains to see all these factors that were out of their control as to why they lost.

Oh they picked Garry on you... I lost as he is broken (which he is not) or because I was counter picked... I lost due to sub due to a lag spike. I lost to Garry again as I was mad. It should be noted in all your matches you mentioned you said you won some games, and presumable a bunch fo rounds even in games you lost.

In a way what you appear to be saying is "I would have won, but X reason lost me the game and being good at MK make not difference when loosing to X".

Now I am not saying you didn't have legit factors at play, maybe there was a lag spike... it does happen, but the thing about delusion is.... the person honestly believes it, regardless of it if it objectively true. That is why it is a delusion.

Rage in my opinion is all about being a responsible human being. About being able to accept your own culpability for loosing. People that try and pass the blame onto other things tend to be the ones that rage the most.

Basically all ragers have one thing in common.. it is never their fault.

So, I would suggest trying to not look for excuses so much. Counter picking is NOT something to rage at, unless you are saying that the act of your opponant counter picking lost you the game.. NOT that you actually played worse and got beaten fair and square.

Take responsibility for your own life and your choices and actions. In real life and in gaming. You will be a much happier person for it.
 
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Dude....I have experience with this. I'm still learning how to deal with my anger, but I think I found a pathway to a better life, I would say, playing mortal kombat or not.
Look at this. This might be useful.

I'm 30 now. So, I played the arcade, the sega genesis, ps1, 2.....and everything was ok back then because we didn't have something that was introduced in the ps2 era, but was really implemented in the ps3 / xbox360 era: The online mode.

So, what was something to relax, overcome challenges and give you peace and serotonine, now (2006) was a platform to compete and beat people and prove that you are good. So....this is a big change isn't it? So....

Fighting games is my favorite genre and when SFIV came out I just couldn't believe what I had seen. The game was amazing.
I started playing online and seeing people all around the world playing, and I discovered that I was mediocre. Not bad....but I was not good enough to beat Daigo ( uow...me and 99% of humanity).

But...I became addictive. I could not stop playing, and everytime that the lag, or something that I did on controller did not come up....or ever losing tired ( I worked at the time a lot and could not sleep well enough)....I turned into beast.
I lost counting the amount of controllers that I broke....things in my house that I destroyed because of anger....and this became the modus operandi of how I was dealing with defeat for a long time ( 5....6 years?).

So....after I turned 26...27....my body started to show signs. A scar appeared in my skin which here in Brazil is called "liquen plano" ( I don't know the name of this in english), my humor was teeeerible, I lost energy. There were days that I could not even wake up and go to work. Candidiasis appeared, my imunity was fucked up, dark circles...and other problems.

After exams...i discovered that all of these were related to stress. So....I quit playing street fighter 4....and I got better.

But..MkX was announced and boy....here we go again. I went through the same process and I stopped again.

But now....now...MK11 is out....and I started noticing the same patterns over again, and you know what? When rage appears, envy....love....kindness....feelings...they say a lot about you. So....if you are aware about how anger works and how bad it is for your health and soul, you should treat your anger, and if you can't control it...stop playing the game, treat the anger first, and come back when you are well.

Here is what I've done after years suffering from anger, and it is working:

  • I started practicing meditation. It is helpful to stress out and bring awareness, which is going to be useful to...
  • transform anger into compassion. Compassion for yourself and people around you who suffer....as you suffer.
  • When you start the game, your main priority should be not getting angry. This is your main goal. If you start to notice a glimpse of ire...take a deep breath, stop the game, a sip of water....and come back. If it still there...stop. Avoid doing shit to your body....just stop and wait....anger will go out in minutes. After that just play offline and think what happened and why you got anger. In my experience....I can say from myself, that I felt injustice and pissed with the game's bullshit (or what I consider to be bullshit), my ego ( because I could not win...and....I HAVE TO WIN!...which is a non sense from my part), and...this is important...I noticed that as soon as I start playing online, my heart beats faster and the body starts to think that I'm in risk...so...I got agitated just by playing online. Agitated, I mean...the heart starts to beat faster and my breathing too.
* Pay attention to tour body. You are a machine. If you notice changes in your breath....and in your body...get ready...anger is coming.

* Think about the primary reasons that you are playing, which I presume is JOY / FUN. If it is fun but you are fucking up your body, this is not fun anymore.

* If you are a competitive person as I am, think twice before starting the game. You have to be clear that your intention is to have fun, unless if you want to be like sonic fox or these guys that play this shit all day....I personally don't have time, talent...to be there, and that is ok. My goal know is to have fun and improve as a person, and I use the game for this when I can.

* Complain less and start to se why are you losing.
There is a guy here who plays Jax and I know why I lost a lot: Once he gets in, I don't know how to defend jax's shit. So....I need to know that if I want to improve my game...and if you don't want to improve that is ok too....this is a game. Is up to you!

* You are getting angry because you need to improve as person. If you get angry, is a sign that you have work to do. Improve as a person, understand yourself better and you will be able to play your games and do what you like without losing your mind.

Peace man, it is hard....all the best for you.
 
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Rage is usually caused by a kind of self-dillusion I call an "I could-a!" moment. Basically, most people rage due to being unable to accept the fact they just got outplayed. So they try and twist their brains to see all these factors that were out of their control as to why they lost.

Oh they picked Garry on you... I lost as he is broken (which he is not) or because I was counter picked... I lost due to sub due to a lag spike. I lost to Garry again as I was mad. It should be noted in all your matches you mentioned you said you won some games, and presumable a bunch fo rounds even in games you lost.

In a way what you appear to be saying is "I would have won, but X reason lost me the game and being good at MK make not difference when loosing to X".

Now I am not saying you didn't have legit factors at play, maybe there was a lag spike... it does happen, but the thing about delusion is.... the person honestly believes it, regardless of it if it objectively true. That is why it is a delusion.

Rage in my opinion is all about being a responsible human being. About being able to accept your own culpability for loosing. People that try and pass the blame onto other things tend to be the ones that rage the most.

Basically all ragers have one thing in common.. it is never their fault.

So, I would suggest trying to not look for excuses so much. Counter picking is NOT something to rage at, unless you are saying that the act of your opponant counter picking lost you the game.. NOT that you actually played worse and got beaten fair and square.

Take responsibility for your own life and your choices and actions. In real life and in gaming. You will be a much happier person for it.
Maybe it's the way I worded it, but I do not think I deserved to win either of those games. The Sub-Zero player and I were pretty similar in skill level, it could have gone either way. The lag spike was true and it happened, but it was not the only thing that made me lose. It is the thing that made me mad, however.
And being a Cetrion player i can tell you playing versus Geras is exhausting as fuck, but it's not a free win by any means. Obviosuly the guy, for whatever reason, did play better than me. I do not deny that, and as i said before, i don't think of myself for more than I am, just an average online warrior.
I lost the first game versus him because he putplayed me, that's facts. It's also true that i was mad as fuck in the third game, and that defintly didn't help.
But I'll also tell you, everytime i pick Cetrion (which is always, cause i only like to play her) There's a 90% chance of playing versus a geras or reborn Scorpion. May be no reason to rage, but it gets boring real fast when you play 3 or 4 matches in all day and 3 of them are Geras.
 

Juggs

Lose without excuses
Lead Moderator
Premium Supporter
I gotta say, the few matches I got to play last night were pretty tilting. Playing in shitty connections (WiFi or not), is super annoying especially in a legit ranked mode. I mean I have been practicing with the offline input delay, and this was worse because it was lagging just about every match. I normally don’t get lag spikes with anyone, so it was definitely rage inducing. It seems all the bad connection ogres were waiting for this shit
 
Dude....I have experience with this. I'm still learning how to deal with my anger, but I think I found a pathway to a better life, I would say, playing mortal kombat or not.
Look at this. This might be useful.

I'm 30 now. So, I played the arcade, the sega genesis, ps1, 2.....and everything was ok back then because we didn't have something that was introduced in the ps2 era, but was really implemented in the ps3 / xbox360 era: The online mode.

So, what was something to relax, overcome challenges and give you peace and serotonine, now (2006) was a platform to compete and beat people and prove that you are good. So....this is a big change isn't it? So....

Fighting games is my favorite genre and when SFIV came out I just couldn't believe what I had seen. The game was amazing.
I started playing online and seeing people all around the world playing, and I discovered that I was mediocre. Not bad....but I was not good enough to beat Daigo ( uow...me and 99% of humanity).

But...I became addictive. I could not stop playing, and everytime that the lag, or something that I did on controller did not come up....or ever losing tired ( I worked at the time a lot and could not sleep well enough)....I turned into beast.
I lost counting the amount of controllers that I broke....things in my house that I destroyed because of anger....and this became the modus operandi of how I was dealing with defeat for a long time ( 5....6 years?).

So....after I turned 26...27....my body started to show signs. A scar appeared in my skin which here in Brazil is called "liquen plano" ( I don't know the name of this in english), my humor was teeeerible, I lost energy. There were days that I could not even wake up and go to work. Candidiasis appeared, my imunity was fucked up, dark circles...and other problems.

After exams...i discovered that all of these were related to stress. So....I quit playing street fighter 4....and I got better.

But..MkX was announced and boy....here we go again. I went through the same process and I stopped again.

But now....now...MK11 is out....and I started noticing the same patterns over again, and you know what? When rage appears, envy....love....kindness....feelings...they say a lot about you. So....if you are aware about how anger works and how bad it is for your health and soul, you should treat your anger, and if you can't control it...stop playing the game, treat the anger first, and come back when you are well.

Here is what I've done after years suffering from anger, and it is working:

  • I started practicing meditation. It is helpful to stress out and bring awareness, which is going to be useful to...
  • transform anger into compassion. Compassion for yourself and people around you who suffer....as you suffer.
  • When you start the game, your main priority should be not getting angry. This is your main goal. If you start to notice a glimpse of ire...take a deep breath, stop the game, a sip of water....and come back. If it still there...stop. Avoid doing shit to your body....just stop and wait....anger will go out in minutes. After that just play offline and think what happened and why you got anger. In my experience....I can say from myself, that I felt injustice and pissed with the game's bullshit (or what I consider to be bullshit), my ego ( because I could not win...and....I HAVE TO WIN!...which is a non sense from my part), and...this is important...I noticed that as soon as I start playing online, my heart beats faster and the body starts to think that I'm in risk...so...I got agitated just by playing online. Agitated, I mean...the heart starts to beat faster and my breathing too.
* Pay attention to tour body. You are a machine. If you notice changes in your breath....and in your body...get ready...anger is coming.

* Think about the primary reasons that you are playing, which I presume is JOY / FUN. If it is fun but you are fucking up your body, this is not fun anymore.

* If you are a competitive person as I am, think twice before starting the game. You have to be clear that your intention is to have fun, unless if you want to be like sonic fox or these guys that play this shit all day....I personally don't have time, talent...to be there, and that is ok. My goal know is to have fun and improve as a person, and I use the game for this when I can.

* Complain less and start to se why are you losing.
There is a guy here who plays Jax and I know why I lost a lot: Once he gets in, I don't know how to defend jax's shit. So....I need to know that if I want to improve my game...and if you don't want to improve that is ok too....this is a game. Is up to you!

* You are getting angry because you need to improve as person. If you get angry, is a sign that you have work to do. Improve as a person, understand yourself better and you will be able to play your games and do what you like without losing your mind.

Peace man, it is hard....all the best for you.
Thanks a lot for sharing your story pal, it helps a lot to have other viewpoints.
I'll give a try to meditation, and will try to identify the rage surges before they come
 

GothamInGray

Hanzo Main
Honestly, if you start feeling frustrated, the best solution is to just take a break and come back later after you've chilled out. No reason to play if it's making you unhappy.
 

Saboteur-6

Filthy Casual
I'm going to point out the fact that if anyone is getting THAT pissed off that they're going into a blind frothing rage at losing in a video game then there's something deeper underlying that's going on mentally that has 0 to do with the game.
 

K3M1K4l

Banned
If you can’t asses your losses each time, why even play? If I lose to a scorpion who beat me with teleport cancels into grabs or w/e, I’m going to blame myself for losing to that bullshit. The other player already knows he is using gimmicks so who cares. I should have made better reads. Sometimes I may cut my Xbox off in a rage against top tiers but eventually I come to terms with why I lost and I feel like it helps me improve drastically.

The only time I truly get mad is when my reactions simply cannot keep up or bad connections!! Frustrating!!
 
If you can’t asses your losses each time, why even play? If I lose to a scorpion who beat me with teleport cancels into grabs or w/e, I’m going to blame myself for losing to that bullshit. The other player already knows he is using gimmicks so who cares. I should have made better reads. Sometimes I may cut my Xbox off in a rage against top tiers but eventually I come to terms with why I lost and I feel like it helps me improve drastically.

The only time I truly get mad is when my reactions simply cannot keep up or bad connections!! Frustrating!!
Who said "each time"?
I literally say at the beginning this doesn't normally happen to me, i'm normally all fun and chill.
It's flying over the head of a lot of people, but i'm not talking about improving in the game, or being mad at loses, or accepting when i got outplayed. It's about uncontrolable, non-sensical rage, not about a god complex that doesn't let me accept defeats.
 

xenogorgeous

.... they mostly come at night. Mostly.
If you can’t asses your losses each time, why even play? If I lose to a scorpion who beat me with teleport cancels into grabs or w/e, I’m going to blame myself for losing to that bullshit. The other player already knows he is using gimmicks so who cares. I should have made better reads. Sometimes I may cut my Xbox off in a rage against top tiers but eventually I come to terms with why I lost and I feel like it helps me improve drastically.

The only time I truly get mad is when my reactions simply cannot keep up or bad connections!! Frustrating!!
this .... and reinforcing that training is very very important regarding fighting games ..... in real life, martial artists , to be sucessful, just take training routines as a very serious part of their preparation and daily basis program .... so, if you lose playing MK11, but not dedicate important time on lab , trying to understand and overcome the difficulties of the match , and find solutions to deal with next time, it's your only and exclusive fault, and getting angry and with rage will never change nothing, you will not get better in the game being furious, live with that ! :p
 
I find that the best thing to do when I’m pissed about a loss is to lose more. Intentionally. I pick Shao Kahn and just randomly jump in and bash the guy with my hammer while yelling BAM!!! It doesn’t work as any kind of fighting strategy, but is a massive stress reliever and hella fun.

It helps to remind you that the point of the game is to enjoy yourself and it’s cool to just fuck around for the sake of fucking around. It also messes up your W/L ratio, so now that is completely unrelated to how you actually are doing in fights that you’re taking seriously, so it becomes much less of a big deal to you when you lose one of those matches because you don’t have a valid record to find yourself worrying about.
 
this .... and reinforcing that training is very very important regarding fighting games ..... in real life, martial artists , to be sucessful, just take training routines as a very serious part of their preparation and daily basis program .... so, if you lose playing MK11, but not dedicate important time on lab , trying to understand and overcome the difficulties of the match , and find solutions to deal with next time, it's your only and exclusive fault, and getting angry and with rage will never change nothing, you will not get better in the game being furious, live with that ! :p
I'm starting to doubdt my ability to express myself in english...
 

portent

Noob
I'm starting to doubdt my ability to express myself in english...
You're making sense, don't worry about it.

Listen, I'm an older gamer, with priorities way above and beyond gaming, so I have a different perspective to share.

1. Understand that not every night will be "your night" Things you do during the day affect both your physical and mental state before you pick up that controller to play.

2. Remember that you're not getting paid to play MK11. This is more important that you understand. You owe it to NOBODY to play the game every day or every waking minute that you're not working or at school.

3. You're likely playing for fun. If playing is making you angry, then it's not fun and you need to take a small break from it.

4. Don't get caught in quicksand. By that I mean, once you're struggling, don't keep struggling. Relax and take a breath. Don't keep trying to force that combo that you keep dropping (even though you can do it in your sleep in practice mode), because it will keep getting you angry when you drop it and keep the cycle going. At this point, just walk away.
 

vegeta

Saiyan Prince
Rage is usually caused by a kind of self-dillusion I call an "I could-a!" moment. Basically, most people rage due to being unable to accept the fact they just got outplayed. So they try and twist their brains to see all these factors that were out of their control as to why they lost.

Oh they picked Garry on you... I lost as he is broken (which he is not) or because I was counter picked... I lost due to sub due to a lag spike. I lost to Garry again as I was mad. It should be noted in all your matches you mentioned you said you won some games, and presumable a bunch fo rounds even in games you lost.

In a way what you appear to be saying is "I would have won, but X reason lost me the game and being good at MK make not difference when loosing to X".

Now I am not saying you didn't have legit factors at play, maybe there was a lag spike... it does happen, but the thing about delusion is.... the person honestly believes it, regardless of it if it objectively true. That is why it is a delusion.

Rage in my opinion is all about being a responsible human being. About being able to accept your own culpability for loosing. People that try and pass the blame onto other things tend to be the ones that rage the most.

Basically all ragers have one thing in common.. it is never their fault.

So, I would suggest trying to not look for excuses so much. Counter picking is NOT something to rage at, unless you are saying that the act of your opponant counter picking lost you the game.. NOT that you actually played worse and got beaten fair and square.

Take responsibility for your own life and your choices and actions. In real life and in gaming. You will be a much happier person for it.
Oh no I know and accept when a loss is my fault. Online play itself is irritating because at times it isn’t or unknown if it is. I check the lab after and sometimes I prove something was due lag so that statement isn’t 100% accurate in certain contexts. Like fighting a jade player that was awful but the connection status symbol is literally going on and off the whole match and the twitches are causing my juggles to drop and punishes to not register.

Offline I generally get irritated at myself if i do get salty but online? Nah i don’t trust that place for anything other than scouting out stupid stuff to lab