Alright everyone you know what time it is. Time for everyone's favorite mustache to give his thoughts on the upcoming Battle Arena Quarter Finals!
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh God yes. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss. I couldn't have made this any worse if I tried! I mean we all know he's got the legendary kryptonite insurance against Superman (may God have mercy on the dumb fucker who ends up against him), but what in the hell has he got in that utility belt for someone on par with that level of power who DOESN'T have fatal allergies?
I've waited a long time for this one Bruce. There aint no prep time for this one. She's gonna snap your neck like pencil. Smarmy bastard. Always acting like old GA aint as good as you. Like I aint as SMART as you! Well whose stupid now! You got a fight with a trained military killer with anger problems and the power of the Gods! What you gonna throw a batarang? That bitch can backfist rifle slugs with her bracelets! You gonna throw faster than a gun can shoot a bullet? Yeah I don't think so. What? Gonna gas her? She can FLY numb nuts. Through buildings. If she can fly through buildings she's just gonna go up and through your gas or just plain BLOW IT at you. Only a dumbass would inhale that shit anyways (lol Superwoman in the Injustice League).
Besides which she'll likely just fly through you. She can fight, shes a military strategist from birth, and she has no allergies. You lose Batman!
Seriously? Like...seriously?
The Flash! The guy moves so fast that people stop. He's outran nuclear blasts. He's broken the fabric of reality on a regular basis and ran through space and time. He's so fast that the only way to beat him is to hope he screws himself over.
Oh whats that? The Joker is crazy and likely set a trap? SO WHAT. Flash outruns a nuke he can outrun an explosion even if its motion sensor triggered. Fill the room with smilex gas? Yeah tornado is on deck at all times. Dude is a walking windstorm and honestly I wonder how he can run through his city so fast without creating sonic booms that explode and blow glass out of cars and buildings all the time. For that matter you ever seen the end of The Matrix 2? Neo had nothing on Flash and he moved so fast that the riptide behind him was tossing cars, buildings and bodies through the air like newspapers behind a speeding truck! The Flash is way faster than that so he should be leaving destruction everywhere he goes...I digress though.
Flash would crush Joker. And if you wanna claim The Flash could be tricked because Joker is clever just remember that The Flash is a forensics SCIENTIST. PHD son...he's no idiot. Flash takes this
Yeah Aquaman is toast. That whole hydrokinesis thing has been an off and on power. Sometimes he is written with it sometimes he isnt. Control the water particles? Yeah thats damned powerful, but it wont matter against Green Lantern. Your ass is heading for space buddy. Oh what theres water particles in the sky? Whats that gonna do against a guy who can fly past the gravitational pull of stars likes its no biggie? You gonna tidal wave him to try and push him back to Earth? Saaaaaaaaave me water particles! Slow me down on my way to orbit where I will pop like a zit!
My...my mustache just uncurled at that bracket.
Also which button gives me my Kryptonite arrow?
I've been mashing like a mofo and all I find are electric, fire and ice and I'm not gonna lie Im starting to get a little bit nervous about things guys. Wish I had gotten the whole weakness thing right when I was still feeling all clever rolling up wearing the color Green from head to toe thinking it would have Superman cowering in fear.
Stupid ass catch 22...its not GREEN its just green space rocks.
WHAT THE HELL MAN!
Way to fuck a guy over! I've been dressing like a booger for 30 years in comics thinking I was the one guy who could handle this sort of situation should it come up and you wait till now to correct me!? The hell man. Not cool.
