From my experience OP is pretty much right, though from the other hand:
Why does 99% of EVERYONE I fight online or even watch random videos of playing this game do this:
??Are they far away?
Yes - Do special moves
Ok my opp is far away – my options:
- try to close in by block dash > got hit by projectile spam or random special move because of the input lag/lag in general;
- try to react to the projectile spam with tele/armor moves > got hit through the armor and my move got blocked and punished because of the input lag/lag in general;
- spam projectiles or whole screen special not on reaction > it seems it works because see above.
??Are they close?
Yes - UPPERCUT!!
??They are winning, how do I get in?
Jump at them!!!
Ok, opp is close - my options:
- try to dash cancel with block-string > got hit by uppercut because can’t gauge the dash distance and when to cancel because of the input lag/lag in general;
- try to wait for them to come > we either both standing/sitting and look to each other or opp jumps and I got block-stringed after jump in punch? Because can’t react with AA because of the input lag/lag in general;
- jump on him or uppercut when see slight movement > seems to work because see above.
??I am losing and they won't let me stand up?
Yes - Do you have
?
**Yes - MASH
!!!!!
**No - TRY TO UPPERCUT!!
Got knocked out or pressured to death with lag tactics block-strings/frame traps and have 3 bars – my options:
- try to interrupt with generic down pokes > got stuffed by block-string/frame traps because of the input lag/lag in general;
- try to use move with armor to interrupt > got stuffed on unarmored startup of the move by block-string/frame traps because of the input lag/lag in general;
- use
> seems to work because its instantly armored, fast and generally better than see above.
Seriously, learn to play you damn scrubs!
Why should they learn to play to your personal amusement – they play for fun, their tactics works most of the time – they don’t have any stimuli to become better. If there would be online tourneys with comparable to offline prises fame and all that stuff and online would be fixed to be GGPO quality at least, maybe then there would be an incentive to play seriously for ‘online-competition-available-only’ people, but it won’t happen.
Tl;dr
Online is horrible, couple of months and MK9 online will be barren, if nothing happens.
_
. It's the brainless scorpion parade. Teleport. Teleport. Teleport. Hell that's not even a flowchart. Although, usually they only get maybe 2 or 3 a round though, because they die from the block/punish 
