Where is Competence When you Need It?
First, I'd love to be able to say that WhatIfGaming's review of Injustice was 'decent', thanks to the irony it would provide; but the truth is that it's well below the standards of what should be considered a decent review. I can, however, say that the review largely fails to hold much value in terms of intelligence and insight. What we are presented with instead, is a veritable parody of a review, only matched in its comical brilliance by the likes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The article was carefully crafted by 'Usman Ihtsham', which fittingly resembles 'Oops man, it's a sham' without great stretches of the imagination. In it, he manages to deconstruct two years worth of hard work in a mere 5 paragraphs -- and what's even more impressive, is that the images used to pad the review occupy more of the space than the article itself.
The review appropriately begins with an image titled 'WhatIf Review (I'm assuming this means, 'what if anyone could review a game') featuring a small white caption in a font size hailing from the dark ages of the internet, stating that Injustice is a game that is 'slightly modified' in terms of traditional arcade game style gameplay. While we're left to guess what is meant by 'traditional arcade-style gameplay' (presumably he's not referring to the integrated XP system that affects nearly every mode of gameplay, the vast collection of unlockables, or the in-depth practice mode with online capabilities), there is one thing that is not left to the imagination here: this is a warning to the reader that he is about to experience a Questionable Review.
It goes on to state that Injustice is a game you should rent rather than buy, if you "need a title that has more creativity than just something trying to milk a franchise". I'm not sure what franchise they are trying to milk here; but if he's referring to Mortal Kombat, he's apparently missed the boat that sailed 5 years ago with MK vs. DC Universe, before the DC cast was tapped for a completely new IP. Furthermore it states that the game is also a rental for fans who "want more variety than button mashing from fighting games in order for it (them?) to be worthwhile". However, he neglected to note that this review is a 'skip' for anyone that desires more than keyboard-mashing for an article to be worthwhile.
This is regrettable.
Venturing into the 'meat' of the article, our reviewer opens by stating that Injustice is a game that fails to hold much value in terms of storyline pacing. Having thoroughly and completely addressed the nuances of the pacing, he then begins to illuminate the fighting mechanics (indeed, one sentence later -- was this a pacing device?). In a brief and unexpected moment of positivity, he states that 'the superhero vs. superhero structure is admirable (because this is certainly the most original aspect of the game design), but then cites a 'rehashed engine' and 'plug and play game design'.
At this point, I had to take a moment to question my own sanity. A character-trait button, whips and lassos, a completely different style of jumping and air movement, a poker-esque meter wagering mechanic? Were we indeed playing the same game? And then I realized: someone probably sent this guy a copy of Motal Kombat 9 to review by accident. This poor person, stuck in a time-warp of confusion -- he's reviewing the wrong game.
He goes on to deride the game design for 'button mashing' (did he play the tutorial mode?) and says that if Batman punches Superman, he can be knocked into another arena (ok he played the tutorial mode, but it sounds like he stopped there -- I wonder what happens if Batman punches Sinestro instead? Guess we'll never know).
The review continues on to say [blah, blah yeah ok] and then drives home the resounding punchline, which is that Injustice is a game that lacks 'Ultimate Substance'. How unfortunate, because clearly Ultimate Substance is something that WhatIfGaming knows a LOT about.
If your sensibilities weren't offended enough by this point (and you hadn't closed your browser in a fit of rage at the unnanounced storyline spoilers), the reviewer happily adds insult to injury with a cleverly-composed concluding paragraph, stating that Injustice is nothing to 'rave home' about. I was happy about this part, because 'raving home' sounds like a lot of work, whatever it is. He ends by saying that the answer to whether Injustice is worth the money is a Kryptonian "Hell no". I wasn't aware that they used that phrase on Krypton, but clearly this reviewer's insights go well beyond the typical measure of both video gaming and comic-universe knowledge.
In conclusion, there are a few things I learned from this article:
1) World education systems are clearly lacking, and we need to invest in better schools for our children.
2) 'Superhero vs. superhero' is a laudable game design quality
3) They be speaking slang on Krypton. Fascinating.
4) Anyone can write a review. Even you.
I'd like to thank WhatIfGaming for reminding us all that you don't actually need to know anything about video games in order to review one; that the classical paradigm for our genre's most treasured games is 'arcade-style button mashing'; and that if you don't have Ultimate Substance, you better lower the price for your soon-to-be million selling blockbuster AAA title.
More power to WIG -- but please warn us in the future before letting E. Honda write your reviews.
You can find the original article here:
http://whatifgaming.com/injustice-gods-among-us-review-wheres-the-kryptonite-when-you-need-it
First, I'd love to be able to say that WhatIfGaming's review of Injustice was 'decent', thanks to the irony it would provide; but the truth is that it's well below the standards of what should be considered a decent review. I can, however, say that the review largely fails to hold much value in terms of intelligence and insight. What we are presented with instead, is a veritable parody of a review, only matched in its comical brilliance by the likes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The article was carefully crafted by 'Usman Ihtsham', which fittingly resembles 'Oops man, it's a sham' without great stretches of the imagination. In it, he manages to deconstruct two years worth of hard work in a mere 5 paragraphs -- and what's even more impressive, is that the images used to pad the review occupy more of the space than the article itself.
The review appropriately begins with an image titled 'WhatIf Review (I'm assuming this means, 'what if anyone could review a game') featuring a small white caption in a font size hailing from the dark ages of the internet, stating that Injustice is a game that is 'slightly modified' in terms of traditional arcade game style gameplay. While we're left to guess what is meant by 'traditional arcade-style gameplay' (presumably he's not referring to the integrated XP system that affects nearly every mode of gameplay, the vast collection of unlockables, or the in-depth practice mode with online capabilities), there is one thing that is not left to the imagination here: this is a warning to the reader that he is about to experience a Questionable Review.
It goes on to state that Injustice is a game you should rent rather than buy, if you "need a title that has more creativity than just something trying to milk a franchise". I'm not sure what franchise they are trying to milk here; but if he's referring to Mortal Kombat, he's apparently missed the boat that sailed 5 years ago with MK vs. DC Universe, before the DC cast was tapped for a completely new IP. Furthermore it states that the game is also a rental for fans who "want more variety than button mashing from fighting games in order for it (them?) to be worthwhile". However, he neglected to note that this review is a 'skip' for anyone that desires more than keyboard-mashing for an article to be worthwhile.
This is regrettable.
Venturing into the 'meat' of the article, our reviewer opens by stating that Injustice is a game that fails to hold much value in terms of storyline pacing. Having thoroughly and completely addressed the nuances of the pacing, he then begins to illuminate the fighting mechanics (indeed, one sentence later -- was this a pacing device?). In a brief and unexpected moment of positivity, he states that 'the superhero vs. superhero structure is admirable (because this is certainly the most original aspect of the game design), but then cites a 'rehashed engine' and 'plug and play game design'.
At this point, I had to take a moment to question my own sanity. A character-trait button, whips and lassos, a completely different style of jumping and air movement, a poker-esque meter wagering mechanic? Were we indeed playing the same game? And then I realized: someone probably sent this guy a copy of Motal Kombat 9 to review by accident. This poor person, stuck in a time-warp of confusion -- he's reviewing the wrong game.
He goes on to deride the game design for 'button mashing' (did he play the tutorial mode?) and says that if Batman punches Superman, he can be knocked into another arena (ok he played the tutorial mode, but it sounds like he stopped there -- I wonder what happens if Batman punches Sinestro instead? Guess we'll never know).
The review continues on to say [blah, blah yeah ok] and then drives home the resounding punchline, which is that Injustice is a game that lacks 'Ultimate Substance'. How unfortunate, because clearly Ultimate Substance is something that WhatIfGaming knows a LOT about.
If your sensibilities weren't offended enough by this point (and you hadn't closed your browser in a fit of rage at the unnanounced storyline spoilers), the reviewer happily adds insult to injury with a cleverly-composed concluding paragraph, stating that Injustice is nothing to 'rave home' about. I was happy about this part, because 'raving home' sounds like a lot of work, whatever it is. He ends by saying that the answer to whether Injustice is worth the money is a Kryptonian "Hell no". I wasn't aware that they used that phrase on Krypton, but clearly this reviewer's insights go well beyond the typical measure of both video gaming and comic-universe knowledge.
In conclusion, there are a few things I learned from this article:
1) World education systems are clearly lacking, and we need to invest in better schools for our children.
2) 'Superhero vs. superhero' is a laudable game design quality
3) They be speaking slang on Krypton. Fascinating.
4) Anyone can write a review. Even you.
I'd like to thank WhatIfGaming for reminding us all that you don't actually need to know anything about video games in order to review one; that the classical paradigm for our genre's most treasured games is 'arcade-style button mashing'; and that if you don't have Ultimate Substance, you better lower the price for your soon-to-be million selling blockbuster AAA title.
More power to WIG -- but please warn us in the future before letting E. Honda write your reviews.
You can find the original article here:
http://whatifgaming.com/injustice-gods-among-us-review-wheres-the-kryptonite-when-you-need-it
