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Dumbest thing you've ever done that wound up hurting you?

I used to be a professional snake handler for a company in New Hampshire. One day, I was taking out a medium sized reticulated python (which is still around 16 feet), but I forgot one very important thing. You see, snakes sleep with their eyes open because they lack eyelids and they won't always be flicking their tongue when they are awake, so unless you are really paying attention to some subtle details, it can be difficult to tell if the snake is awake. When snakes wake up, they are often confused about their surroundings just like any creature. This can result in a recently-woken snake perceiving things as a threat or food that an alert snake would not. It's important to note this because people often confuse this behavior for aggression, when the snake is just confused and groggy. Anyway, I went in to take the snake out so I could clean its cage, but I didn't tap the snake on the body with one of those snake hooks to make sure it was awake before I reached in to grab it. The snake woke up as I was grabbing it, saw the heat of my hand, smelled rats (I had been feeding some other snakes earlier,) and launched itself at me. You develop a certain degree of reflexes from dodging snake bites, but it's nearly impossible to dodge one that comes unexpectedly and very fast. I managed to turn my body to the side, saving my hand from the bite, but the 16 foot snake still managed to latch right on to my ass. It then wrapped around my thighs and held on. It didn't hurt much because there are so few nerve endings down there, but I had to waddle embarrassingly down the hall and inform the manager what had happened. It took the combined efforts of myself and two other guys to get that snake off me and back into its cage. I still have dents where that snake latched on. It was pretty hilarious even at the time, but it's still my favorite dumb injury story.

PHOTO PROOF:
xD LOLOLOL
 

WakeUp DP

GT MK OshTekk.
Ha! Some "straight" guys though are ambiguous as fuck. First straight guy I fell for willingly made out with me only to get weird like a year after and now we don't talk
So he's zoning you out hard and you can seem to get in huh? Try picking a teleport char:DOGE
 

NY-Shadow

TestYourMight SUCKS
This was a lesson on how sometimes young girls do stupid things for boys they like. I was thirteen at the time when I got my first BMX bike and I was the only girl on the block who had a white and red Red Line bike. All the other girls had 10 speed bikes and the like, but I was the only girl with a real BMX bike. All the boys had Mongooses, Haros, GTs ect so I began to like this boy who had a blue Haro and I would ride with him sometimes around the block but could never go with him and his friends into the woods to go trail riding and ramp jumping because they didn't want girls riding around with them. Anyways, one day I came home from school and found six of the boys and the boy I liked waiting for me on their bikes in my driveway. Of course I was so awesomified and excited to see all the cool boys at my driveway waiting? Are they waiting for me I said to myself.

Anyways, the leader of the bunch named Dave asked me if I wanted to go trail riding with them and sure enough I said Yes! But then Dave said, "Well if you want to ride with us you have to pass a test first" So I said, " What kind of test is it?" Dave then said "its a test to see how fast you can ride because we don't like slow pokes riding with us, so if you pass this test you're in" So I said "Ok let's go". We all went to the edge of the forest clearing where the entrance to the trail was but their was a wasp nest the in one of the bushes that hang over into the trail path with wasps flying all around it basically blocking the entrance of the trail. During the whole time I was talking to Dave the boy I liked went and told the other girls what was going to happen and the next thing i knew everyone was waiting to to see me do this test. Dave finally said to me
"Ok, if you can ride as fast as you can straight through that overhanging bush and not get stung you can ride with us from now on" I looked back at the girls and my best friend Amy was shaking her head for me not to do it, but the boy I liked kept saying "common you can do it, then we can always ride together just you and me" Dave then said "yeah, you can be in our special club and not have to hang out with all these stupid girls riding their stupid useless bikes".

So I geared up in my mind that somehow I could do it. I could ride fast enough and blast right through that wasp bush and not get stung. As I was getting ready i looked back and say Dave and the boy I liked covering their mouths with their hands laughing. Then Dave said "oh common, what, you chicken? bwak-bwak-bwak-bwak-she's a chicken,bwak-bwak-bwak" I became so mad at that moment I said "oh yeah, then watch this" and I began to peddle as hard and as fast as I ever did in my thirteen year old life. I saw the bush getting closer and and saw the swarm of wasps flying around it but I was convinced in my mind I could do it, ride so fast through that bush that I would knock them wasps out cold with my Red Line speed. I felt the bush brush across my chest and over my breast and I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach thinking all in one second 'oh my god, what if I get stung on my breasts and my face...oh shit" I blew right through the bush with my eyes on my chest to see if any wasps were near my breasts till then after passing the bush around ten feet when I felt on my upper back the feeling of a red hot needle piercing my upper back near my neck. I screamed out in pain and fell of of my bike hurting my hands and chin on the rocks. I stood up crying to see Dave and the boy I liked laughing it up while I was hurt and in pain. I felt so betrayed and angry I slowly walked with my bike over to the crowd and suddenly a rush of energy sparked within me and I lunged at Dave grabbing his hair and trying to scratch his face. the fight felt like an eternity but was really only about 40 seconds long lol.

Dave felt so strong I couldn't stay on top of him. He grabbed my hands while I was pulling his hair and kicked me in the stomach sending me to the ground. All I heard from one of the boys was "kick him in the balls" So I stood up and rushed at Dave and tried to kick him in the balls but he moved aside and grabbed my foot yanking my sneaker off and threw it hitting me in the face. He grabbed me by my hair and started to drag me, all I could do was hold on to his hands to try and get my hair out of his grips. That's when the neighbor showed up and stopped the whole seen. Moments just after the fight stopped I felt all the pain in my body take over, everything hurt, my hands, my stomach, my head, my knees, my heel, the wasp sting in my back almost went away from everything else. I walked back home with my friend Amy and saw Dave kicking my bike and then throwing it into the pond by the road still laughing at me as if nothing happened to him but everything happened to me. That same night, my Dad went to Dave's house and spoke with his father. The following day Dave returned my bike all cleaned up and said he was sorry and never looked at me again. The following month Dave and his family moved!
 
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ThaShiveGeek

Est In Harvey 1989
This was a lesson on how sometimes young girls do stupid things for boys they like. I was thirteen at the time when I got my first BMX bike and I was the only girl on the block who had a white and red Red Line bike. All the other girls had 10 speed bikes and the like, but I was the only girl with a real BMX bike. All the boys had Mongooses, Haros, GTs ect so I began to like this boy who had a blue Haro and I would ride with him sometimes around the block but could never go with him and his friends into the woods to go trail riding and ramp jumping because they didn't want girls riding around with them. Anyways, one day I came home from school and found six of the boys and the boy I liked waiting for me on their bikes in my driveway. Of course I was so awesomified and excited to see all the cool boys at my driveway waiting? Are they waiting for me I said to myself.

Anyways, the leader of the bunch named Dave asked me if I wanted to go trail riding with them and sure enough I said Yes! But then Dave said, "Well if you want to ride with us you have to pass a test first" So I said, " What kind of test is it?" Dave then said "its a test to see how fast you can ride because we don't like slow pokes riding with us, so if you pass this test you're in" So I said "Ok let's go". We all went to the edge of the forest clearing where the entrance to the trail was but their was a wasp nest the in one of the bushes that hang over into the trail path with wasps flying all around it basically blocking the entrance of the trail. During the whole time I was talking to Dave the boy I liked went and told the other girls what was going to happen and the next thing i knew everyone was waiting to to see me do this test. Dave finally said to me
"Ok, if you can ride as fast as you can straight through that overhanging bush and not get stung you can ride with us from now on" I looked back at the girls and my best friend Amy was shaking her head for me not to do it, but the boy I liked kept saying "common you can do it, then we can always ride together just you and me" Dave then said "yeah, you can be in our special club and not have to hang out with all these stupid girls riding their stupid useless bikes".

So I geared up in my mind that somehow I could do it. I could ride fast enough and blast right through that wasp bush and not get stung. As I was getting ready i looked back and say Dave and the boy I liked covering their mouths with their hands laughing. Then Dave said "oh common, what, you chicken? bwak-bwak-bwak-bwak-she's a chicken,bwak-bwak-bwak" I became so mad at that moment I said "oh yeah, then watch this" and I began to peddle as hard and as fast as I ever did in my thirteen year old life. I saw the bush getting closer and and saw the swarm of wasps flying around it but I was convinced in my mind I could do it, ride so fast through that bush that I would knock them wasps out cold with my Red Line speed. I felt the bush brush across my chest and over my breast and I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach thinking all in one second 'oh my god, what if I get stung on my breasts and my face...oh shit" I blew right through the bush with my eyes on my chest to see if any wasps were near my breasts till then after passing the bush around ten feet when I felt on my upper back the feeling of a red hot needle piercing my upper back near my neck. I screamed out in pain and fell of of my bike hurting my hands and chin on the rocks. I stood up crying to see Dave and the boy I liked laughing it up while I was hurt and in pain. I felt so betrayed and angry I slowly walked with my bike over to the crowd and suddenly a rush of energy sparked within me and I lunged at Dave grabbing his hair and trying to scratch his face. the fight felt like an eternity but was really only about 40 seconds long lol.

Dave felt so strong I couldn't stay on top of him. He grabbed my hands while I was pulling his hair and kicked me in the stomach sending me to the ground. All I heard from one of the boys was "kick him in the balls" So I stood up and rushed at Dave and tried to kick him in the balls but he moved aside and grabbed my foot yanking my sneaker off and threw it hitting me in the face. He grabbed me by my hair and started to drag me, all I could do was hold on to his hands to try and get my hair out of his grips. That's when the neighbor showed up and stopped the whole seen. Moments just after the fight stopped I felt all the pain in my body take over, everything hurt, my hands, my stomach, my head, my knees, my heel, the wasp sting in my back almost went away from everything else. I walked back home with my friend Amy and saw Dave kicking my bike and then throwing it into the pond by the road still laughing at me as if nothing happened to him but everything happened to me. That same night, my Dad went to Dave's house and spoke with his father. The following day Dave returned my bike all cleaned up and said he was sorry and never looked at me again. The following month Dave and his family moved!
Fucking movie moment man! I've done some asshole type things to women in my day... I'm only 24, but damn... That was some ass hole shit. Teenagers are mean smh. I'm sorry to hear that.
 

NKZero

Noob
I was coming back from a club with a very drunk friend of mine. As we are walking up a street we pass by a massive man and his girlfriend. My drunk friend thought it would be cool to whistle at the girlfriend, and he quickly draws the attention of the big guy. I'm fearing for my life and trying to tell my friend to shut up but he won't listen. The guy comes up to us and immediately squares up to my friend. They start arguing back and forth and my friend is making no sense whatsoever and telling the man to fuck off etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy looked like the Big Show and he was about 6'8" which is no joke.

Anyway, I'm trying to calm the whole situation down and get in between them and I apologise to the guy for my friend's drunk behaviour. I convince the man to walk away. As he and his girlfriend are walking, my friend yells 'whooooooooooorrrre' at the top of his voice. I give him an 'are you fucking serious' look and before you know it, the guy comes bulldozing back into our direction, he grabs my friend by the shirt and headbutts him. My friend immediately falls to the ground. I immediately think 'oh shit' but instinctively I retaliate and start trying to hit the guy. I foolishly jump on his back at one stage and start grabbing him around the neck. It doesn't take him long to pick me up grab my head and smash it face first into a window. Thank God I have a largish nose that absorbed pretty much all the impact. My nose was crushed and blood was everywhere. I immediately fell to the ground in a complete daze and thankfully the guy doesn't pound on me while I'm on the floor. I just see him and his girlfriend walking away into the distance.

As I get a bearing of my surroundings and start to feel my face etc., my nose felt like jelly, blood was streaming down and I had a few cuts on my face (it could have been worse). I suddenly turn to find my friend and he had already run for the hills. Some friend! It ended up being dumb, not because I took a beating, but because I defended a friend who wasn't worth defending lol...
 
Went to end a set winning combo with an uppercut instead of the combo's normal finisher, input bug happened, lost round, lost loser finals, hate life forever now.
 

ThaShiveGeek

Est In Harvey 1989
I was coming back from a club with a very drunk friend of mine. As we are walking up a street we pass by a massive man and his girlfriend. My drunk friend thought it would be cool to whistle at the girlfriend, and he quickly draws the attention of the big guy. I'm fearing for my life and trying to tell my friend to shut up but he won't listen. The guy comes up to us and immediately squares up to my friend. They start arguing back and forth and my friend is making no sense whatsoever and telling the man to fuck off etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy looked like the Big Show and he was about 6'8" which is no joke.

Anyway, I'm trying to calm the whole situation down and get in between them and I apologise to the guy for my friend's drunk behaviour. I convince the man to walk away. As he and his girlfriend are walking, my friend yells 'whooooooooooorrrre' at the top of his voice. I give him an 'are you fucking serious' look and before you know it, the guy comes bulldozing back into our direction, he grabs my friend by the shirt and headbutts him. My friend immediately falls to the ground. I immediately think 'oh shit' but instinctively I retaliate and start trying to hit the guy. I foolishly jump on his back at one stage and start grabbing him around the neck. It doesn't take him long to pick me up grab my head and smash it face first into a window. Thank God I have a largish nose that absorbed pretty much all the impact. My nose was crushed and blood was everywhere. I immediately fell to the ground in a complete daze and thankfully the guy doesn't pound on me while I'm on the floor. I just see him and his girlfriend walking away into the distance.

As I get a bearing of my surroundings and start to feel my face etc., my nose felt like jelly, blood was streaming down and I had a few cuts on my face (it could have been worse). I suddenly turn to find my friend and he had already run for the hills. Some friend! It ended up being dumb, not because I took a beating, but because I defended a friend who wasn't worth defending lol...
Yeah that was fucked up on his part to run and leave you lol.
 

HellblazerHawkman

Confused Thanagarian
When I got my first butterfly knife, first trick I taught myself was how to catch them in the air. Multiple stab wounds later, I finally mastered it!

Thinking things with me and my ex could work out. This is only stupid, because I'm insane and I only can connect with insane girls, and I thought this wouldn't be the case
 

HellblazerHawkman

Confused Thanagarian
I was coming back from a club with a very drunk friend of mine. As we are walking up a street we pass by a massive man and his girlfriend. My drunk friend thought it would be cool to whistle at the girlfriend, and he quickly draws the attention of the big guy. I'm fearing for my life and trying to tell my friend to shut up but he won't listen. The guy comes up to us and immediately squares up to my friend. They start arguing back and forth and my friend is making no sense whatsoever and telling the man to fuck off etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy looked like the Big Show and he was about 6'8" which is no joke.

Anyway, I'm trying to calm the whole situation down and get in between them and I apologise to the guy for my friend's drunk behaviour. I convince the man to walk away. As he and his girlfriend are walking, my friend yells 'whooooooooooorrrre' at the top of his voice. I give him an 'are you fucking serious' look and before you know it, the guy comes bulldozing back into our direction, he grabs my friend by the shirt and headbutts him. My friend immediately falls to the ground. I immediately think 'oh shit' but instinctively I retaliate and start trying to hit the guy. I foolishly jump on his back at one stage and start grabbing him around the neck. It doesn't take him long to pick me up grab my head and smash it face first into a window. Thank God I have a largish nose that absorbed pretty much all the impact. My nose was crushed and blood was everywhere. I immediately fell to the ground in a complete daze and thankfully the guy doesn't pound on me while I'm on the floor. I just see him and his girlfriend walking away into the distance.

As I get a bearing of my surroundings and start to feel my face etc., my nose felt like jelly, blood was streaming down and I had a few cuts on my face (it could have been worse). I suddenly turn to find my friend and he had already run for the hills. Some friend! It ended up being dumb, not because I took a beating, but because I defended a friend who wasn't worth defending lol...
There's a certain point where you have to say mother fucker was asking for it, ya know? Friend or not
 

NKZero

Noob
There's a certain point where you have to say mother fucker was asking for it, ya know? Friend or not
I understand completely but I just wouldn't be able to sit there and watch him take a beating no matter how much of a jackass he was being. In hindsight I probably should have helped Big Show out and maybe we could have executed some WWF style tag team moves on the little bastard haha.

Oh well, my nose is a little crooked and it makes me proud haha. Battle scars ;).
 

HellblazerHawkman

Confused Thanagarian
I understand completely but I just wouldn't be able to sit there and watch him take a beating no matter how much of a jackass he was being. In hindsight I probably should have helped Big Show out and maybe we could have executed some WWF style tag team moves on the little bastard haha.

Oh well, my nose is a little crooked and it makes me proud haha. Battle scars ;).
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2008/nov/18/scar-attraction