I just scheduled an online visit with a psychiatrist through https://amwell.com/cm/services/online-psychiatry/. They're partnered with most insurance companies, including Aetna (my insurance). I suffer from mild-to-extreme OCD and ADHD, not so much anxiety or depression, but it still heavily affects my day-to-day experience. I can't touch anything without then having to apply pressure on it at specific points. Like, if I'm using a knife to eat, I have to keep pressing on the bottom with my pinky or tapping the tip against the plate or my fingertip, over and over, until I'm no longer holding it. I can't turn the volume in my car up or down without accidentally turning it off, since I can't touch the knob without pressing down on it. I wear out my hand using my computer mouse because I keep having to press the sides with my pinky and thumb, over and over.
As a kid, I was bullied because I had all kinds of ticks and spasms. My cats will only sleep on my wife because I can't keep still for more than a few seconds. We even got special clamps for the bed sheets because the fitted sheet kept being pulled off the matress on my side, and I thrash so much that the clamps pop off. I can't do any exercise that requires keeping still, like planks, because I have to almost non-stop flex certain muscles.
As a kid, I remember sitting at the table trying to do easy homework, but being unable to put my pencil to the paper. My parents would be screaming at me and my dad once lost his temper and hit me out of the chair, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself do the work. I can play a video game for 12 hours straight, but give me pretty much any other task and I can get through maybe 5 minutes before it's time to check my email, Reddit, Facebook, and TYM, then back to the task (maybe) for 5 more minutes, then email, Reddit, Facebook, TYM. I still can't write more than a sentence or two by hand before my body just refuses to let me keep going.
My parents never got me diagnosed and just wrote it off as laziness. And I'm sure there have been times when laziness played a part, for sure. But it's so frustrating when there are so many things I want to do, and yet I can't find it in me to stick to any kind of plan or schedule. And when, no matter how hard I try to pay attention, my mind just keeps drifting to any subject other than what I'm trying to study.
After 36 years, I'm really hoping this online session with a psychiatrist can lead to some kind of relief.
It wasn't until I came across these comics that I realized ADHD might be a factor.
As a kid, I was bullied because I had all kinds of ticks and spasms. My cats will only sleep on my wife because I can't keep still for more than a few seconds. We even got special clamps for the bed sheets because the fitted sheet kept being pulled off the matress on my side, and I thrash so much that the clamps pop off. I can't do any exercise that requires keeping still, like planks, because I have to almost non-stop flex certain muscles.
As a kid, I remember sitting at the table trying to do easy homework, but being unable to put my pencil to the paper. My parents would be screaming at me and my dad once lost his temper and hit me out of the chair, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself do the work. I can play a video game for 12 hours straight, but give me pretty much any other task and I can get through maybe 5 minutes before it's time to check my email, Reddit, Facebook, and TYM, then back to the task (maybe) for 5 more minutes, then email, Reddit, Facebook, TYM. I still can't write more than a sentence or two by hand before my body just refuses to let me keep going.
My parents never got me diagnosed and just wrote it off as laziness. And I'm sure there have been times when laziness played a part, for sure. But it's so frustrating when there are so many things I want to do, and yet I can't find it in me to stick to any kind of plan or schedule. And when, no matter how hard I try to pay attention, my mind just keeps drifting to any subject other than what I'm trying to study.
After 36 years, I'm really hoping this online session with a psychiatrist can lead to some kind of relief.
It wasn't until I came across these comics that I realized ADHD might be a factor.