Somewhere in Outworld there are cybernetic ninjas teleporting around, attacking each other with laser nets, flamethrowers, and missiles. I want that movie. Instead, we get the human equivalent of vanilla in Cole Young.
I almost wish we could get something more like the Crank movies, just sheer batshit lunacy and near nonstop action from start to finish.
As others have said, fighting game stories are utter nonsense, so why do they try to depict them as gritty realistic romps? Give me ninjas fighting in a supernatural tournament against 4-armed monstrosities and I'm sold. I don't need character development, I don't need a moral lesson, I don't need anything else: the movie is called Mortal Kombat so give me that in a tight 90-minute package. Sorry, but I will never take colorful ninjas as seriously as this movie wants me to.
One of my pet peeves is action movies that refuse to show action. Another is when a character with insane abilities just keeps throwing the main characters around instead actually attacking them. This movie unfortunately did both to a staggering degree. If you have to shake your camera and cut every 2 seconds to make your action interesting, you need a new director, editor, and fight choreographer.
I almost lost it near the end when Scorpion just keeps taking his mask off. I believe he took his mask off 4 times in 4 consecutive cuts.
I also lost it when Sub was spitting out dramatic threats in Chinese and Scorpion was just like, "I have no idea what you're saying but fuck you!"
I love the actor who plays Kano. He's the pharmacist on Superstore and plays a giant dick in a few episodes of Wrecked. I hope this gets him the attention he deserves, as he's hands down the best part of the film.
The acting. What acting? I loved hobo Raiden. Good casting for Scorpion. And Kano dominates every scene he's in. Poor Sonya...
I didn't understand how Sub was using his powers in fights. Like, he just kept grabbing people and turning blue and they would scream. Sometimes they could get out and sometimes they were helpless. They should have just stuck to ice weapons. Did he even shoot a single ice ball?
I loved that they included actual mechanics from the game in the fights, like when Liu sweeps Kano and then does a hop attack. I saw Lao using MK11 strings in his fights. I was very sad we didn't get to see Kano do a ball attack. That's the kind of nonsense that could have really upped the entertainment value of the movie.
Overall, it was not the steaming turd I expected, but I doubt I'll ever watch it again.
