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Share your drunken escapades

Hades

Hades

Dojo Trainee
After a bloody brilliant weekend getting on the turps I was thinking back to great times i've had drinking. I'm sure a lot of you have some interesting stories to tell about times you've been out drinking good and bad. So share your drinking experiences with all of us and provide us with a few laughs.

My story: it was just a typical saturday night and me and one of my friends were watching a game of rugby league sinking back a few brews. For some reason my sister had left a bottle of jagermeister on the bench and we had the wise idea of doing shots with no mixers just straight jager. We had about 5 shots and thought well that did fuck all and decided to head into town and went straight to the strip club and ordered a few more drinks. By the time a stripper came over i was rekt and she gave me a lap dance. What she didn't realise was that i had no money and rather than giving her money i was just giving her all my old receipts (for some reason i had like 20 in my wallet). I can't remember anything from this point but my friend tells me i pretty much gave her the motorboat of doom. Apparently i literally gave her a 5 minute motorboat and i was putting my hands down her pants and everything but she thought she was getting hundreds of dollars so i didn't get kicked out or anything. It was at this point my friend who was smashed but not to the point of memory loss got us out of there before i got in a whole lot trouble from the security. We ended up walking home and i got up the next morning 4 hours later and went to work still smashed. Now at this point you probably think its over but it just so happens that my friend had done ecstacy the night before and we were both at work cooked as fuck. We decided it would be a good idea to lift a $400 toilet and ended up dropping it and smashing the bottom to pieces. We found a box and hid it behind a shelf behind a whole lot of bath tubs and it still hasn't been found after 3 months being there.

I'm sure a lot of you have stories that are heaps better than mine but thinking back this one always makes me laugh. Feel free to share your stories and give me a good laugh!
 
KIllaByte

KIllaByte

PSN: playakid700. Local name: BFGC MonkeyBizness
@BrobaChett
Do accidental bath salts or shrooms stories count? The two best of each of those types of stories were told to me by the dude I tagged above.
Broba, tell about you becoming Barry Allen on bath salts and / or you finding that the only non-horrifying thing to watch while on shrooms was low budget local wrestling.
 
Reactions: TKB
Hades

Hades

Dojo Trainee
KIllaByte said:
@BrobaChett
Do accidental bath salts or shrooms stories count? The two best of each of those types of stories were told to me by the dude I tagged above.
Broba, tell about you becoming Barry Allen on bath salts and / or you finding that the only non-horrifying thing to watch while on shrooms was low budget local wrestling.
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Dude why didn't i even think about drug stories. Shit yes, anyone who has any hilarious stories about drugs throw them in too. I've only had good experiences though and i've never done more than weed but i could see some of these stories being crack up
 
usbigboy

usbigboy

You weren't on frame bro
Once me and 2 of my friends got a big bottle of jack like a handle and we downed the whole thing. One of my friends Ryan couldn't stop telling me how hot he thought my cousin was like the entire night he was talking about her. Anyways it's like 2 in the morning and my cousin my sister in law and my brothers girlfriend arrive and we start playing drinking games with cards and at this point were already out of it. So as were playing I see my friend Ryan has his head down on the table, I go Ryan... You good? And he instantly throws up all over the dinner table and infront of my cousin(the one he's in love with lol) I start dying of laughter and he sprints out the door I chase after him after a good 10 minutes of laughter. So I'm in the middle of the street drunk yelling RYAN! It took me almost an hour to find him I find him at the edge of our little suburb housing place. I come back to clean the throw up and it takes 2 giant towels to get all of it. Now I have to get him to bed so I go upstairs and he's in the bathroom I open the door and he's passed out on the floor with his pants rolled down in his underwear and he just got down taking a shit and I'm pretty sure he didn't wipe...... Pretty hilarious to me but not to my friend lol he stopped drinking for like 8 months after and he was too embarrassed to even come over. This man is now in the Air Force god bless our troops. :)
 
TKB

TKB

Warrior
I remember a long long time ago a good friend of mine and I used to drink and smoke weed all day long, even at work(we worked at a restaurant).... We were kinda dumb kids lol.

So one day my buddy was driving home from work after having 5 Long Island iced teas, drunk off his ass.. He was doing about 80mph on a 40mph street. He was about 2 minutes from home(we were roommates at the time) when he flew into the median and smashed into a bigass Boulder. The impact was so powerful that his driver side front wheel RIPPED OFF
At the spokes and flew into oncoming traffic. (I'll get back to this part a little later.)

I was at home when I look at my front door to him walking in looking like somebody just kicked his ass. Black eye, bleeding lip, telling me to take him somewhere else.(he was freaking out and ran all the way home.) He also was COVERED in what looked like vomit but It turns out he had a styrofoam container of food that flew in front of his airbag as it exploded. He was drenched in enchilada.

We took him back to the accident and took him to the hospital... Cops came and questioned him, they drug tested him, ran screens for everything... They all somehow came back negative. Nothing! Not the drugs he had recently been doing, nor the alcohol. He was never charged with DUI.

Now, the wheel that flew off into oncoming traffic... It actually slammed into this ladys car. Turns out that the lady driving the car was a personal friend of the owner of the restaurant we worked at. What in the fuck are the odds?
 
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IMakeItL00kC00L

IMakeItL00kC00L

Do not provoke a god
I drink ALL the time and let me tell you it's great



















I mean, how else am I gonna live if i dont drink any water or other beverage lol
 
Hades

Hades

Dojo Trainee
Braindead said:
Never had a drink and never smoked anything, not even a cigarette. Never been in a single fight, and never plotted any revenge on anyone.

Dammit TYM stop making me sound boring :S
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How old are you man, if its religion based i completely understand. Also i've never been in a fight in an actual fight in my life other than for sport (i've been doingtae kwon do for 11 years) never tried cigarettes don't want to. It wasn't until the start of this year that i started drinking and trust me i wouldn't trade anything for a night on wets with the lads. There is nothing better than getting smashed and creating memories with a good group of mates. Hell i never even drank anything alcoholic until i turned 18 which is the legal age to drink here.
 
Braindead

Braindead

I want Kronika to step on my face
Hades said:
How old are you man, if its religion based i completely understand. Also i've never been in a fight in an actual fight in my life other than for sport (i've been doingtae kwon do for 11 years) never tried cigarettes don't want to. It wasn't until the start of this year that i started drinking and trust me i wouldn't trade anything for a night on wets with the lads. There is nothing better than getting smashed and creating memories with a good group of mates. Hell i never even drank anything alcoholic until i turned 18 which is the legal age to drink here.
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I'm 24 and yeah the no drinking and drugs part is religion based. The no cigarettes part is not, but I don't want it because meh it's just a waste of money and health.
I have no idea why I have never been in a fight. It just never happened lol.
 
GGA Max

GGA Max

Well-Known Member
One of my friends was a self-help fanatic. Super ambitious for the sake of being super ambitious.

We were at a party, left for a bit, and then came back. I was pretty buzzed, he was sober.

Another party-goer was warming up his car outside (it was winter). And my self-help friend thought it was a good idea to steal the guy's car to "teach him a lesson." I assume to not warm up your car in the winter, in a driveway, unlocked, in a nice neighborhood.

I reassured him it was a good idea. He got in the driver seat, and I in the passenger. We drove around the block once or twice.

Well when we got back the police were almost called, the guy was very upset, and wanted to fight my friend.

My Friend: "Shouldn't be leaving your car unlocked like that, bro."
Guy: "WTF is wrong with you?!" *grabbing my friend's jacket*

There was almost a fight but the guy's friends settled him down. My self-help friend was discouraged from seeing those people again.
 
VenomX-90

VenomX-90

"On your Knees!"
I had a huge ass hangover from drinking a Rogue beer the night before I work the next day. I woke up and I knocked over my TV (the fat back ones) luckily it didnt break but damn I was so hanged over I called in sick b/c of that lol.
 
Hades

Hades

Dojo Trainee
VenomX-90 said:
I had a huge ass hangover from drinking a Rogue beer the night before I work the next day. I woke up and I knocked over my TV (the fat back ones) luckily it didnt break but damn I was so hanged over I called in sick b/c of that lol.
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahha... Dude i am in tears!!! This story is so random and out of it hahahaha.. Dude 'drinking a rogue beer the night before i work the next day' i was laughing enough at that point but calling in sick because you knocked over your fat tv. Dude holy shit this has well and truly made my day.
 
Skkra

Skkra

PSN: Skkra
I have a million insane stories because I party really, really fucking hard. I'm not bragging - simply saying. I actually do NOT encourage anyone to emulate my actions.

Sadly, these are certainly not tales for a public forum. If anyone finds me at Evo this year though I'll be happy to relate some in real life over liquor as I prepare to inevitably create new ones.

(@Ninj you and me in Vegas this year)
 
TotteryManx

TotteryManx

cr. HP Master
Here is a light hearted story...LOL...when I was younger I went to work drunk. Someone claimed I couldn't drink a gallon of milk in 15 minutes. Long story short I accepted the challenge and destroyed the bathroom and had to leave a hour later.

Morale of the story, don't drink a gallon of milk.
 
TotteryManx

TotteryManx

cr. HP Master
One time a friend and I came across a closed Food City store and found a bicycle out back. We rode it around and a car came around with its light on us. The man told us to, "Get down on the ground now." Not knowing it was a cop I told him to fuck off.....first time I had a gun drawn on me in my life. A little while later another cop shown up and chewed the first cop out because he was off duty. They searched my friends car and found a trunk full of porn and penis pumps(even longer story.) We were let go, but were humiliated.
 
Skkra

Skkra

PSN: Skkra
Man, I've written and deleted 10 different things now. I think I'll just have to stay away from this thread since I realize I can't post anything haha.
 
TotteryManx

TotteryManx

cr. HP Master
Skkra said:
Man, I've written and deleted 10 different things now. I think I'll just have to stay away from this thread since I realize I can't post anything haha.
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trust me, I know the feeling. The post I shared is so edited it's not funny lol. I've been involved in way worse and super embarrassing situations, but I'm not gonna share on a forum lol.
 
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