What's new

Talking to girls/dating/advice

Shit...idk what to do. Like I said we've been talking for about a week already and i'm not sure if that's too much chit-chat or not. I definitely don't want her to view me as a "friend". Idk guys i'm freaking pressured and stressed.
Before this chatting, you haven't talked to her in a while?
 

booivi

Good Game :)
Before this chatting, you haven't talked to her in a while?
No not at all, She's been offline for the past 3 hours. I think she's done for the day, she went to sleep. So the last time we talked was right before she got offline.
 
No not at all, She's been offline for the past 3 hours. I think she's done for the day, she went to sleep. So the last time we talked was right before she got offline.
No I mean, before you added her.
Did you talk to her in person?
 

CURBOLICOUS

Cage ban wagon?
Well I technically knew her back in Freshmen year, she was my friend's friend and we hung out together. I just recently added her on FB this summer and we've started talking and she remembers me..
Ok so she hasn't talked to you in a while basically if I'm understanding the situation right? So whatever first impression you gave her from a while back she prolly forgot about which could be good, like if she thought you were a shy guy and didn't really talk to girls, you can change that. Be playful I guess. Also don't worry too much about fucking things up because you'll just put yourself in a stressful situation and you'll always have pressure on you if you are trying to hard to impress her. Be yourself. IDK what kind of advice your friends give you. Unless being yourself is being scared to talk to anyone or being afraid to make a move then you should be fine. Just have fun with it and let things happen. Don't be an asshole like "idgaf what I do because i'm a douchebag" but have less stress on yourself when your with her like I said just have some fun man.
 
booivi
Use a set-up:
  • You want to see a movie, ask her to join
  • You're bored, think of thing, ask her to join
  • You haven't seen her in a long time, want to get coffee and talk
  • You want to talk in person because [blame internet, say there's a problem with it]
Then just brace yourself and ask her to join you. Don't do anything else.
 

miloPKL

soundcloud.com/pukelization
it bothers me to see threads like this when I come to TYM.

that is all, carry on.
 
Don't stress out and start droppin' combos.
Don't beef up and do the macho thing.
Don't be too shy.
Don't be quiet and act like you don't care about her.
Just try and go normally. It's tough at first, but you have to work under your own mental pressure.
 

booivi

Good Game :)
Use the "I haven't seen you in a while" setup.
Ask her to come to starbucks with you to tell you what has gone on in the last 3-4 years.
See I like your idea and all but...she's extremely shy. Even back in our Freshmen year I remember her sitting with us at the lunch table and she would never say a word, she had a friend(girl) always next to her that would always say "come on xxxxxxxx, say something". And she just wouldn't speak up...most of the time she'd just throw out a cute smirk. And just recently I saw a video she posted on FB and its about her last day at school. In the video, she's walking around the school's hallways with 3 of her friends(all girls). She's the one holding her cellphone camera and at one point in the video one of her friends says "Hey xxxxxxxx you never came out on the video, introduce yourself" and she points the camera towards her very quickly and says her name and then "ok bye" afterwards. Another friend says "Omg xxxxxxxxx, you're so shy" right after. So I'm pretty sure she hasn't got over her shyness. How can I use her shyness to my advantage? Should I approach her differently....?
 
See I like your idea and all but...she's extremely shy. Even back in our Freshmen year I remember her sitting with us at the lunch table and she would never say a word, she had a friend(girl) always next to her that would always say "come on xxxxxxxx, say something". And she just wouldn't speak up...most of the time she'd just throw out a cute smirk. And just recently I saw a video she posted on FB and its about her last day at school. In the video, she's walking around the school's hallways with 3 of her friends(all girls). She's the one holding her cellphone camera and at one point in the video one of her friends says "Hey xxxxxxxx you never came out on the video, introduce yourself" and she points the camera towards her very quickly and says her name and then "ok bye" afterwards. Another friend says "Omg xxxxxxxxx, you're so shy" right after. So I'm pretty sure she hasn't got over her shyness. How can I use her shyness to my advantage? Should I approach her differently....?
Kind of. Make sure she knows she can talk to you. After talking for a bit longer, go into the plan.

Patience.
 

Rosegoddess3

Diamond Dust
Just be yourself. Don't try to hard, just ask! I always kind of got freaked out if a guy I knew pulled me aside and gave me a long speech or something. One guy in high school actually pulled me aside once and played Stabbing Westward's "What do I have to do to make you want me" and begged me to go out with him. I was scared and wanted to run away.

Every guy I've ever dated (and the one I married) just approached me in a cool, casual way. Be confident. Don't be fake. Don't be macho. Don't make a big production. Just try to hang out with her and see if there's a connection. And seriously, JUST BE YOURSELF!! If you can't be yourself around her, it isn't worth it and it won't last.

Save all of your fancy ideas until after you know she's interested (NO GIFTS YET!). Then I'm sure she (or someone else), would love that sweet stuff.
 

booivi

Good Game :)
Someone please tell me what to literally type in a message for her to go have a Starbucks coffee with me or something...I'm embarrassed to say that but I just can't let this one go...:(
 
Someone please tell me what to literally type in a message for her to go have a Starbucks coffee with me or something...I'm embarrassed to say that but I just can't let this one go...:(
You have to phrase it the way you would say it out loud if you were talking to her. How would you ask her to go for coffee?
Usually people can tell if you don't sound like yourself. Do the set-up thing. Re-word it how you would say it and then ask her.
 

booivi

Good Game :)
Honestly man I feel that she would say "no sorry" out of shyness. I think there's a very slim chance she'll say yes through Facebook. And I doubt any of you guys have an idea of how shy this girl is...It's ridiculous. But she's definitely my type in terms of race/height/skin color/personality...etc
 

Vocket

Day 1 Phenomenal Teth-Adam Player
This right here will probably be your downfall. You care too much. When you want something so bad you put a ton of pressure on yourself when the opportunity comes. You start playing it 'safe' and try not to say or do anything that is too outlandish cause you just wanna make sure you don't screw it up.
...
You can't force girls to like you. All you an do is be yourself and do your thing. Show that you don't give a fuck what she thinks about you and your gonna say and act how you want. Usually that alone gets enough respect from a girl that she'll give you a good pitch to hit.
Translation: GO ALL IN X-RAY THAT BITCH!! 50/50 that pussy you either win and become a legend or you lose and continue trying.
 
I've pulled many girls, fucked the majority of them and married one of them. I guess I can lay out some good advice for you.

1. Be yourself, do not lie, do not act pretentious.
2. Confidence is a must. Do not show any signs of weakness.
3. Take the initiative. Do not be afraid. If you feel like she wants you to kiss her, fucking kiss her. She is 19 now so she isn't a little girl. She most likely is as sexual as you are, or perhaps even more.
4. If you get denied, take it like the man you are, get over it, and move on. Plenty of vaginas out there.
5. Make her feel secure, protected and important. But don't let her whip you around like her little bitch.
6. Listen to her blabber on about bullshit and put an effort into responding. Girls will bitch and moan if you "Don't care"
7. When you have sex for the first time make sure you give her the most pleasuresble oral sex ever. She will come back, guaranteed.