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Tips on how to survive horror films?

Here's what I know so far:

1. Turn the lights on.

2. No sex until you know for sure that the killer is dead.

3. Stay away from dark areas. Do not say "hello", do not investigate; RUN AWAY AS IF YOU LEFT YOUR PIE IN THE OVEN.

4. If you hear a scream, get very far away. By the time you find out who's doing the screaming, they'll be dead.

5. Don't be the only black guy in the group. Bring at least three of your homeboys, and chances are only one of you will be killed. The inverse is probably true: don't be the only white guy in the group.

6. Don't stop your car after you've struck the killer. Keep driving, or run him over repeatedly.

7. Stay in large groups. Loads of ammunition, explosives, or supernatural powers are needed to take out a crowd.

8. Stay in areas you are familiar with. Easier to call for help this way.

9. Run to the front door, not upstairs.

10. When hiding, put your cell phone on vibrate or remove the battery.

11. Don't be a Jacka McJerkface: it almost guarantees your death. Being a nice character doesn't grant you immunity from getting killed, because the director/writer does not want the survivors to be too predictable. Be very neutral.

12. If your profession involves hunting or searching for undiscovered documents, then you'll probably die. If your profession has to do with any type of creature that has been known to kill (demon/vampire/ghost/serial killer, etc.), then that is likely what will kill you.
(Zombies may be an exception)

13. Make sure you are in good terms with the nerds. They often will know ways around certain situations, and if they're weird enough, have what you need to stop the enemy.

14. If you have the chance to kill the enemy, take it. Shoot it repeatedly, chop it up, or burn it with a lighter. Don't creep towards it slowly. Just get out of there and hope you're not in the sequel because you flew to Hawaii.
 

EGGXI

Scary Bat
Don't, for whatever reason, take a shower.

Oh and before you get in your car and escape, check the back seat first
 

Rampage254

Ayy Lmao
Make sure you have gas. Can't count how many times I've seen movies where the car runs out of gas.
Don't run for like 10 seconds and then stop thinking you got away.
Stay positive.
 
Do not antagonize the scary crazy man/woman/creepy child/monster/whatever that just killed several people. If you do they will go out of their way to make sure your death is especially horrific and painful compared to the others to show that yes they did take the insults personally.

Or at the very least they find you the most annoying at the current moment.
 

Mr. Mileena

Warrior
Probably the point I have the biggest pet peeve.

Ever see countless horror movie (non horror included too), where a person has a gun/weapon, and they either drop it and ignore it, or shoot once or twice and drop it.

Take the fucking gun with you, because when they leave it, they die in like the next 5 min.

If I find a weapon, you'd best I'm keeping it, even if the ammo runs out for it. Save it for the future or something. (possible ammo, etc)
 

Chongo

Dead Kings Rise
As cool as your friends are, they aren't worth dying over. If your friend is being chased by the bad guy, sucks to be them.