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Salt Report News: Your Warden Needs You

K

Kval2point001

Noob
SneakyTortoise said:
Okay, so a few people used to enjoy my satirical reports and every now and again I'll receive a question about when the next one will be. So this post has two purposes. The first is to tell anyone that's interested that the next Salt Report is likely to be written shortly after NEC, but it will be a special edition one covering all the events since my last one up until the end of the year and will hopefully be my biggest and best one yet.

Secondly, as tortoises are not elephants and we sometimes forget, I am asking for your help to remind me of any events that may have slipped my mind so that after I write it I don't receive floods of "omg I can't believe you forgot to mention Cossner vs Coolwhip round 324". Below I will post most of the juicy, salty events that I intend to write about it, and from now until NEC, if people could keep commenting in here to update me on any salty news, I can skim through this thread at the time of writing and ensure that I don't miss anything out.

Events I plan on writing about so far
  • 13-0
  • wound vs king
  • KP 2 announcement
  • Johnny Cage community being awful
  • SCR
  • Mid tier Quan
  • The locker room
Click to expand...
Could probably do the salt reports by player name! Eg - "The salt report - PL edition"
 
Aramonde

Aramonde

Kombatant
As a honorable mention you shoud put in the salty runback between the cyber brothers Mustard(Kitana) & Ketchup(Jacqui). The salt from this match is great. Reminds of when me and my bro played MK2 XD


@PND_Ketchup @PND_Mustard
 
Doombawkz

Doombawkz

Trust me, I'm a doctor
SneakyTortoise said:
Okay, so a few people used to enjoy my satirical reports and every now and again I'll receive a question about when the next one will be. So this post has two purposes. The first is to tell anyone that's interested that the next Salt Report is likely to be written shortly after NEC, but it will be a special edition one covering all the events since my last one up until the end of the year and will hopefully be my biggest and best one yet.

Secondly, as tortoises are not elephants and we sometimes forget, I am asking for your help to remind me of any events that may have slipped my mind so that after I write it I don't receive floods of "omg I can't believe you forgot to mention Cossner vs Coolwhip round 324". Below I will post most of the juicy, salty events that I intend to write about it, and from now until NEC, if people could keep commenting in here to update me on any salty news, I can skim through this thread at the time of writing and ensure that I don't miss anything out.

Events I plan on writing about so far
  • 13-0
  • wound vs king
  • KP 2 announcement
  • Johnny Cage community being awful
  • SCR
  • Mid tier Quan
  • The locker room
Click to expand...
"I can't land this Liu Kang Combo. Must be a bug, buff me"
 
Matix218

Matix218

Get over here!
Tom Brady's salt levels have become so high he has literally resorted to random selecting in online ranked matches and purposely playing like garbage either jumping around like an idiot or just spamming a punishable special. Morton's should replace their salt factories with Tom because he can produce high levels of sodium way more efficiently than any industrial processes.
 
I GOT HANDS

I GOT HANDS

Official Infrared Scorp wid gapless Wi-Fi pressure
Matix218 said:
Tom Brady's salt levels have become so high he has literally resorted to random selecting in online ranked matches and purposely playing like garbage either jumping around like an idiot or just spamming a punishable special. Morton's should replace their salt factories with Tom because he can produce high levels of sodium way more efficiently than any industrial processes.
Click to expand...
Oh wow and he's streaming himself doing it?
 
aieches

aieches

#freeHomelee2016
i swear Tom can be way over dramatic ( acting or not) at times but still a lot of people put too much effort into trying to suck the hate from his testicles as if they we trying to work for brazzers.
its like a never ending cycle. like everyday half of the chat room is the same people busting his balls. Funny thing is that at a tourney- besides the pple who are in his immediate fgc circle- i dont see anyone of these ppl stepping up to him saying anything remotely close to what they say over the computer. you go to a tourney and its nothing but lord brady and hand shakes ..

 
Matix218

Matix218

Get over here!
I'm a Brady fan (he hates me because he got pissed that I said that he could beat Madzin in a sub mirror but that Madzin would likely out place him in tournament, that really bothered him for some reason...) but I genuinely root for him in tournament and like it when he does well. The dude needs to ease up on the depression streams though, but again, I do just think he's trolling
 
I GOT HANDS

I GOT HANDS

Official Infrared Scorp wid gapless Wi-Fi pressure
Matix218 said:
Oh absolutely, every day. I'm sure hes just kind of doing it to troll though because I cant imagine anyone being that depressed in real life regarding a video game (but watch the archives, its pretty convincing)
Click to expand...
Getting salty enough to do that yourself is one thing, wha I can't imagine anything more depressing than, is taking time out of my day to watch a stream of someone doing this
 
SaltShaker

SaltShaker

In Zoning We Trust
Matix218 said:
Tom Brady's salt levels have become so high he has literally resorted to random selecting in online ranked matches and purposely playing like garbage either jumping around like an idiot or just spamming a punishable special. Morton's should replace their salt factories with Tom because he can produce high levels of sodium way more efficiently than any industrial processes.
Click to expand...
Lmao!!! That's mountainous levels of salt right there.
 
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