Salt Report News: Your Warden Needs You

[SneakyTortoise]

Okay, so a few people used to enjoy my satirical reports and every now and again I'll receive a question about when the next one will be. So this post has two purposes. The first is to tell anyone that's interested that the next Salt Report is likely to be written shortly after NEC, but it will be a special edition one covering all the events since my last one up until the end of the year and will hopefully be my biggest and best one yet.

Secondly, as tortoises are not elephants and we sometimes forget, I am asking for your help to remind me of any events that may have slipped my mind so that after I write it I don't receive floods of "omg I can't believe you forgot to mention Cossner vs Coolwhip round 324". Below I will post most of the juicy, salty events that I intend to write about it, and from now until NEC, if people could keep commenting in here to update me on any salty news, I can skim through this thread at the time of writing and ensure that I don't miss anything out.

Events I plan on writing about so far

• 13-0
• wound vs king
• KP 2 announcement
• Johnny Cage community being awful
• SCR
• Mid tier Quan
• The locker room

 

[Eldriken]

Even if there are other things that could be added to that, I'm pretty sure what you listed would be sufficient enough. I'm very much looking forward to your next Salt Report. It's been too long. ;_;

 

[SneakyTortoise]

Even if there are other things that could be added to that, I'm pretty sure what you listed would be sufficient enough. I'm very much looking forward to your next Salt Report. It's been too long. ;_;

I've missed writing them, just literally do not have the time or energy this term. Luckily NEC and the end of term coincide reasonably close together.

 

[Undeadjim]

I think we need to see some of the recent Liu Kang thread.

 

[Derptile]

I think we need to see some of the recent Liu Kang thread.

This.

 

[Matix218]

Gotta talk about tom brady, he has been brutally salty lately. Just watch some of his stream archives if you need an example

 

[KidVanDal]

Alot of top players seemed to be salty that they lost to some guy called danny at esl.

https://twitter.com/sonicfox5000/status/660990996352774145

 

[16 Bit]

Carl's ESL tweets have been pretty good

 

[Tony at Home]

At one point we had two "buff Scorpion (including Ninjitsu's)" threads active at one of time.

Sub Zero though, not to be outrivaled by his Mortal enemy, has his own unreasonable buff suggestion thread still active.

REO has to spell it out to legions of Ermac mains that Spectral isn't useless.

Mid tier Quan thread was mentioned, but I think the "MKX is dead thread" shouldn't be forgotten.

 

[TopTierHarley]

Anything with the artist formerly known as CDJr concerning MKX

 

[BoromiRofGeo]

* ermac community finally realizing they got the short stick.
* raiden community begging on their knees to stop nerfing raiden to bottomless abyss.

 

[Matix218]

That bwizz thread where he talks about raiden getting unjustly nerfed and complained about pig's kenshi whining should get a mention I reckon

 

[SylverRye]

Tom NEEDS to be included. Dude has been suicide watch emo for a few weeks now. Even smashed his monitor.would be a good read

 

[KidVanDal]

Oh how could I forget that week where honeybee was on a rampage because they stealth nerfed one of d'vorahs bug cancels only to later say that he just had an off week.

That was golden.

 

[PunkMafia83]

I have been out of the loop what's up with the cage community?

 

[PunkMafia83]

The raiden f1 thread has to be added

 

[Dja_Homies]

The hatred and salt towards @zoofs DrunkAtTheClub

 

[Gofer_MK_]

Kano patch + hotfix = killing CT's ExBuff... makes me salty as hell... special thanks to SonicFox who pointed shit out in an interview, the next day hotfix did hit Kano baaad...

 

[Zoidberg747]

PL not making it out of pools at Absolute Battle. He basically shit on everyone who beat him including Pnut.

Same thing with CD Jr although he did make it out of pools.

 

[GuerillaTactix]

Quan Chi: A Mid Tier Superstar by M2Dave

 

[coolwhip]

This is completely off topic but since this is salt related I'm salty about the KTP being a cock tease. It was supposed to be a monthly yet we didn't get one in October. @Slips @General M2Dave @K7L33THA

 

[Matix218]

This is completely off topic but since this is salt related I'm salty about the KTP being a cock tease. It was supposed to be a monthly yet we didn't get one in October. @Slips @General M2Dave @K7L33THA

I agree

I assume they are waiting till after Nec to give them more to talk about but I wish they would just do another in the mean time and talk about forum drama, star wars, or anything really lol

 

[The_Tile]

 

[NaCl man]

Tom NEEDS to be included. Dude has been suicide watch emo for a few weeks now. Even smashed his monitor.would be a good read

this had to be done

 

[RVB]

Sub Zero though, not to be outrivaled by his Mortal enemy, has his own unreasonable buff suggestion thread still active.

Mind telling me what the hell are you even talking about?