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I wrote an essay on "Victory vs Loss" for Lit.. Feel free to take a look

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
Feel free to comment on what I could edit or add, all opinions are welcome :coffee:

“That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”' - Richard Bach. Richard Bach helps explain that a loss, in itself, is a victory. A loss should be an experience where someone absorbs all the knowledge they can. An experience from a single game can alter the way a player or team performs in the future. What you can learn from an event in the past can greatly affect your skill and strategy.

I can say from experience that a loss is not easy to take in, although it provides me with insight on what I can improve on. For example, I play video games competitively, and I travel around the state or play extensively online, for the competition and advice from knowledgeable players. When I lose a match in a tournament, I take a step back and look at what I could have done better, or differently. Talking to the players around me makes a tremendous difference; as it opens me up to a variety of perspectives on the game or match itself.

Although, a loss can be taken two different ways. Despite what you can gain from a loss, it can be overlooked as something that's not that important. Emotions can keep a player from looking at what they did wrong and replacing it with what wasn't fair, and why they should have won. The obstacle of maturing from a loss is difficult, but once you overcome the barrier, you are rewarded as a player.

A loss overall is a learning experience, that every player should use to their advantage. Don't look down upon a loss as something to ignore, but something to analyze and study. Losing is a part of every game that is played, from the controller to the court, and a loss will be what you make of it.
 

Lt. Boxy Angelman

I WILL EAT THIS GAME
Dude, I love deep-thought gaming philosophy like this.
I've been getting stuck in between salty and smart lately with my losses; no matter how ridiculous the circumstance, there's always something to learn...
You can discover more in one loss than in a hundred victories.
Especially in this kooky fuckin' game...keep up the good work, Tox :D.
My first major college paper ever - 33% research final for English 101 - I did on Mortal Kombat.
In a class led by a hard-ass, education-or-death-level-serious Indian professor who couldn't believe I was serious about my chosen topic.
Got a 98.5% on that bitch :D. And people don't think gaming is educational...
 

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
Dude, I love deep-thought gaming philosophy like this.
I've been getting stuck in between salty and smart lately with my losses; no matter how ridiculous the circumstance, there's always something to learn...
You can discover more in one loss than in a hundred victories.
Especially in this kooky fuckin' game...keep up the good work, Tox :D.
My first major college paper ever - 33% research final for English 101 - I did on Mortal Kombat.
In a class led by a hard-ass, education-or-death-level-serious Indian professor who couldn't believe I was serious about my chosen topic.
Got a 98.5% on that bitch :D. And people don't think gaming is educational...
Definitely man, and I appreciate the support. ^^ I always try to look at my losses the right way, especially since I'm getting more and more involved in the offline scene in GA. Overall gaming has always been a passionate hobby of mine, and I like to take it seriously.

Also, on another note I hate that most competitive gamers, or gamers in general, don't get the respect they deserve in full sometimes. I guess the general conflict I am faced with is stereotypes saying "every pro gamer is overweight and has no life". While in REALITY, every pro gamer I have ever known, talked to, or watched live works their ass off and has fun doing what they are dedicated to.
 

Lt. Boxy Angelman

I WILL EAT THIS GAME
FOR REALS!
Ever since I started getting further into all of this, I hype things up to my friends, but eventually have to throw in the explanation that it's not just the oddities and hermits of the world doing this on a higher level - as the creepy old man in the Call Of Duty commercial said, "Everybody's doing it." 9 to 5'ers, parents, rich folks, poor folks, kids, middle-agers, from Alex Jr to Alex Valle and everyone in between. And that's one of the best parts of it/going to be one of the best parts of it in the future - the diversity of the MK community is huge. And hopefully will only be getting huger as the game/reboot franchise expands and the mistakes of the past are dwindled down and improved upon.

That'd make a great paper, too: something on the broad spectrum of players at work nowadays, as opposed to the stereotypes & misconceptions.
For example: you're a young high-school virtuoso trying to educate, and I'm a 24-year old 9-to-5 insomniac stoner throwing grenades.
Our common ground: KOMBAT :D.
 

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
FOR REALS!
Ever since I started getting further into all of this, I hype things up to my friends, but eventually have to throw in the explanation that it's not just the oddities and hermits of the world doing this on a higher level - as the creepy old man in the Call Of Duty commercial said, "Everybody's doing it." 9 to 5'ers, parents, rich folks, poor folks, kids, middle-agers, from Alex Jr to Alex Valle and everyone in between. And that's one of the best parts of it/going to be one of the best parts of it in the future - the diversity of the MK community is huge. And hopefully will only be getting huger as the game/reboot franchise expands and the mistakes of the past are dwindled down and improved upon.

That'd make a great paper, too: something on the broad spectrum of players at work nowadays, as opposed to the stereotypes & misconceptions.
For example: you're a young high-school virtuoso trying to educate, and I'm a 24-year old 9-to-5 insomniac stoner throwing grenades.
Our common ground: KOMBAT :D.
That's what I love about the MK community and/or video game communities in general. ( Some more than others, and I'm not saying I love every community, the LoL community is probably one of the most immature at times T__T) It doesn't matter who you are, if you share a common compassion for games then players can bond over that. It kind of reminded me when I was playing a Tekken demo at a Gamestop, and a guy (looked almost like an adult, and I was only a freshman in HS at the time) came up and played me, we kept going back and forth in matches, and we overall just had a great time. I love video games for multiple reasons, and one of those is just putting aside differences and just enjoying what you can do with a couple of controllers and a tv.

Haha that too, I might write another paper just for the hell of it xD but I probably need to focus on if my lit teacher will like this paper first.
 

NRF CharlieMurphy

Kindergarten Meta
I hate to be a dick.... but you sound like those parents that want everyone to get a trophy. Regardless of how much you learn from a loss... it is still losing. Humans aren't wired to lose. You have to remember that in a win... you still make mistakes. I think you are trying to rationalize losing as a tool to learn... but winning can do the same thing. If the question is about Winning vs. Losing... you have to discuss both sides.

:) Hope it helps.. and I hope your essay goes well!!!
 

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
I hate to be a dick.... but you sound like those parents that want everyone to get a trophy. Regardless of how much you learn from a loss... it is still losing. Humans aren't wired to lose. You have to remember that in a win... you still make mistakes. I think you are trying to rationalize losing as a tool to learn... but winning can do the same thing. If the question is about Winning vs. Losing... you have to discuss both sides.

:) Hope it helps.. and I hope your essay goes well!!!
It's not that I don't consider that, and I completely understand and support that. It's just the teachers stressed not to support both sides in the assignment. As in, don't write "well I can see why you could see it like this, or this" as apposed to focusing on one topic. Even if the logical response should always be looking at both sides of the story or topic.. Trust me I know there are mistakes in winning and there's much to learn from that too, but this essay was mainly just looking at losing in a certain perspective.
 

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
Simply put, whether you win or lose, you can still look at what you did right and wrong and improve
 

9.95

Noob
I'm assuming that your essay is supposed to follow the standard 5 paragraph format, correct?

If so, then you need to format the way you've written it and support it better. The way I wrote essays in college, I took the point of view that the person I was writing it for had little, if any, working knowledge on the subject and that my essay would be the explanation of the whole subject(of course with my personal view supported by quotes and facts). Try to stay away from personal experiences because they aren't really quotable or provable.

Keep this in mind as you write your essay:

Paragraph 1 - Thesis statement - "Tell them what you're going to tell them"... introduce the subject briefly with your 3 supporting ideas.
For instance, I would immediately change the subject to, "Why you can learn more from a loss than from a win", since this seems to be more of your focus.

ie: Losing, though never more fun than winning presents us with a far greater opportunity to learn than winning can.
Follow with: reason 1(don't go into detail, just introduce the idea)
reason 2
reason 3.
Finish paragraph 1 with closing statement about your thesis.

Paragraphs 2-4 - "Tell them" Re-introduce each idea(one idea per paragraph) and support it with 1-2 quotes as evidence, end by telling them, "that's why..."(or some form of it)

Paragraph 5 - "Tell them what you told them" - Redundancy is the key here.. you have to find a way to say your ideas AGAIN but without completely repeating yourself... and then again tell them "that's why losing teaches you more"..(or some version of that)

I recommend reading this before starting again. I think it will give you some great ideas. http://www.sirlin.net/ptw
 

AK Toxic

Graphic Designer
I'm assuming that your essay is supposed to follow the standard 5 paragraph format, correct?

If so, then you need to format the way you've written it and support it better. The way I wrote essays in college, I took the point of view that the person I was writing it for had little, if any, working knowledge on the subject and that my essay would be the explanation of the whole subject(of course with my personal view supported by quotes and facts). Try to stay away from personal experiences because they aren't really quotable or provable.

Keep this in mind as you write your essay:

Paragraph 1 - Thesis statement - "Tell them what you're going to tell them"... introduce the subject briefly with your 3 supporting ideas.
For instance, I would immediately change the subject to, "Why you can learn more from a loss than from a win", since this seems to be more of your focus.

ie: Losing, though never more fun than winning presents us with a far greater opportunity to learn than winning can.
Follow with: reason 1(don't go into detail, just introduce the idea)
reason 2
reason 3.
Finish paragraph 1 with closing statement about your thesis.

Paragraphs 2-4 - "Tell them" Re-introduce each idea(one idea per paragraph) and support it with 1-2 quotes as evidence, end by telling them, "that's why..."(or some form of it)

Paragraph 5 - "Tell them what you told them" - Redundancy is the key here.. you have to find a way to say your ideas AGAIN but without completely repeating yourself... and then again tell them "that's why losing teaches you more"..(or some version of that)

I recommend reading this before starting again. I think it will give you some great ideas. http://www.sirlin.net/ptw
Thanks for the help, I'll read what's on that link at home (school internet blocks it) then revise and rewrite my essay.
 
I'm assuming that your essay is supposed to follow the standard 5 paragraph format, correct?

If so, then you need to format the way you've written it and support it better. The way I wrote essays in college, I took the point of view that the person I was writing it for had little, if any, working knowledge on the subject and that my essay would be the explanation of the whole subject(of course with my personal view supported by quotes and facts). Try to stay away from personal experiences because they aren't really quotable or provable.

Keep this in mind as you write your essay:

Paragraph 1 - Thesis statement - "Tell them what you're going to tell them"... introduce the subject briefly with your 3 supporting ideas.
For instance, I would immediately change the subject to, "Why you can learn more from a loss than from a win", since this seems to be more of your focus.

ie: Losing, though never more fun than winning presents us with a far greater opportunity to learn than winning can.
Follow with: reason 1(don't go into detail, just introduce the idea)
reason 2
reason 3.
Finish paragraph 1 with closing statement about your thesis.

Paragraphs 2-4 - "Tell them" Re-introduce each idea(one idea per paragraph) and support it with 1-2 quotes as evidence, end by telling them, "that's why..."(or some form of it)

Paragraph 5 - "Tell them what you told them" - Redundancy is the key here.. you have to find a way to say your ideas AGAIN but without completely repeating yourself... and then again tell them "that's why losing teaches you more"..(or some version of that)

I recommend reading this before starting again. I think it will give you some great ideas. http://www.sirlin.net/ptw
+1 to this. I did a huge paper for college a million years ago about internet retail sales versus brick and mortar retail sales. My argument was that brick and mortar would eventually be surpassed and continue to shrink (sounds like duh now). At the time there was very little actual support from experts or studies despite the fact that I thought there would be tons of it. Long story short I wrote the paper anyway supported my ideas with so so support but still got a good grade on it because of the structure of the paper was dead on.
 

9.95

Noob
I'm taking time to point out a few things on your draft, use the color coding...

Feel free to comment on what I could edit or add, all opinions are welcome :coffee:

“That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”' - Richard Bach. Richard Bach helps explain that a loss, in itself, is a victory. A loss should be an experience where someone absorbs all the knowledge they can. An experience from a single game can alter the way a player or team performs in the future. What you can learn from an event in the past can greatly affect your skill and strategy.

I can say from experience that a loss is not easy to take in, although it provides me with insight on what I can improve on. For example, I play video games competitively, and I travel around the state or play extensively online, for the competition and advice from knowledgeable players. When I lose a match in a tournament, I take a step back and look at what I could have done better, or differently. Talking to the players around me makes a tremendous difference; as it opens me up to a variety of perspectives on the game or match itself.

Although, a loss can be taken two different ways. Despite what you can gain from a loss, it can be overlooked as something that's not that important. Emotions can keep a player from looking at what they did wrong and replacing it with what wasn't fair, and why they should have won. The obstacle of maturing from a loss is difficult, but once you overcome the barrier, you are rewarded as a player.

A loss overall is a learning experience, that every player should use to their advantage. Don't look down upon a loss as something to ignore, but something to analyze and study. Losing is a part of every game that is played, from the controller to the court, and a loss will be what you make of it.
This is a quote and should be used in a later paragraph to support your claim... it should NEVER be used as a thesis statement.

What relevance does this sentence have to the paragraph? A loss either IS or IS NOT an experience to absorb knowledge. On that note, isn't winning also an experience to absorb knowledge? How can I tell the difference between the two? You haven't told me WHAT we're talking about yet.

Again, this sentence kind of seems out of place. It seems as if it could be one of your supporting facts, but you'll need to change the word "experience" to the world "loss".

Same as above... but said differently. Its redundant and needs to be removed.

I will do more later, but you need to add 2 more supporting facts, and re-write the thesis paragraph while CLEARLY stating your thesis.