Farewell and Thank you

[Lulzlou]

As some of you know I suffer from depression. It has been getting worse as time moved on but the good thing is I'm finally trying different medication to help battle it. And no, I never think about hurting myself or plan to do so. The medication I'm taking now is definitely helping. I've been thinking what will help me not slip back into another depressive episode and not playing fighting games was on the top of my list.

The reasons I play are;
Something to be proud of later down the line
Meet awesome people
Be a part of something
Get props. Video games are literally the only thing I'm good at. So working really hard and having people notice is an awesome feeling.


Don't have many friends outside the gaming life and I wasn't exactly popular in highschool, sort have been bullied but that was just verbal. It didn't affect me at all emotionally because I was able to ignore it and not give a shit. Being apart of this community really helped me become a bit more social. If you ever played with me you'd probably notice I don't say much.

The problem I have with depression and fighting games is the lost of interest in practicing, which has been the case about 8months into me starting out. Its been a constant roller coaster and I've realized its not worth it. If I can't play at my best then there is no point in me playing since practicing is extremely hard. You can say that I can just play casually but that isn't the type of gamer I am. I find it impossible for me to play a game casually. Even when I try to I always end up putting a lot of time into it. Its frustrating having random bursts of motivation then have it taken away not to long after.

Being a part of tournaments, TYM and playing with the local guys has really helped me get through depression. I honestly don't want to quit for good but for now I am. Maybe in about a year I'll be settled in with medication and stay consistently in a good mood. Some of you may understand if you know people that take medication for things like that or take them yourselves. Changing doses and hopping on to different meds is terrible.

I still don't think I've proved myself in MK and couldn't get into Injustice because of depression. Putting that all behind really brings weight off my shoulders.

I have to give some people a big thanks because without them I wouldn't have got to where I am at.

FlipinFlava
For bringing me into the NOVA casuals and for helping me learn the game. You didn't have to keep playing with me but you did even when I had no idea what I was doing.

N0rdicNinja
For helping me out when I messaged you about some stuff and hosting awesome local tournaments. Going to my first tournament really helped me see the direction I should be heading in.

Blackula
For blowing me up bad. I still will never forget the constant babies with Jade. Letting me stay the weekend down there was awesome and I learned so much. Beating you for the first time in tournament was a huge accomplishment for me.

rev0lver
For forever being my master. I don't think I will ever have the chance to play you in tournament again. You and xKhaoTik were the reason I hate playing the kitana match up. I had a lot of fun playing it but it was sure frustrating.

astronout
For helping me out with literally everything. I probably wouldn't have kept playing if you didn't come to our meet ups. I can't even thank you enough for everything you helped me with.

Mr Aquaman and Srryimwhte
I have to combine you both because its about the same. You guys are one of the reasons I got to where I was. Sticking with me and believing in me when I started to doubt myself was awesome. I played the most broken character and you guys looked past that. For awhile I thought it was Kabal doing all of the work and I was just a bad player.

Tom Brady
For giving me advice, guidance and pushing me into the right direction. The way you talked about the way I practice helped me stay on track with it. I wish depression didn't bring me to the point where I rarely practiced. I always looked forward to going down to Blackula's when I heard you'd be there.

jamessmk
For hosting OBS, even though I haven't watched it in forever. Those tuesdays nights helped me so much with getting through the night. I always ended up staying up until it ended. Had a good laugh almost everytime. Glad I was able to be apart of it.

R.E.O.
For playing me seriously when we played (assuming you did). Playing the kabal mirrors the three times I've played you were great. Definitely learned a lot because I beat every other kabal I played in tournament.

AK Pig Of The Hut
Even though I didn't get to play you in tournament, the sets you had with me were exciting. Had a moment where I thought kabal gave no fucks about kenshi but you and blackula put me in my place lol. Thank you for giving me a place to stay during MLG Dallas. That is an experience I will never forget. I was in the middle of an episode while I was there but it didn't affect me as much being around everyone.

Also to everyone else that I knew on here and all the online warriors , thank you.

I've been stopping myself from making this thread for over a week now because I don't want it to look like Im looking for attention. I decide to yolo and post it since it has been bugging me a lot.

If any of you want to keep in touch;
https://www.facebook.com/lxriverao.o
Skype - SpunkyTofu
Steam - LulzLou
571 659 1221


edit; I'm at work so I'll reply to you guys when I get off tonight

 

[Matix218]

What up man. You played a few casual matches against my smoke at summerjam. Your kabal was really good.

Sorry to hear about your battle with depression. Believe me, I understand. I've had issues with that as well.

I wish you the best

 

[STB Shujinkydink]

Good luck in the future man. Find a new hobby that makes you feel good. Martial arts got me out of my depression. Excercise comradery and self defense, they help a lot. Either way pew pew pew seeya

 

[FlipinFlava]

I remember when you first started coming out to play. I randomly found you in a thread complaining that there was no local scene, so I told you about the casuals that I hosted and invited you to join us. You knew all your combos, but had no idea how to land a hit on a real opponent. I don't think you won a single match for the first month or so that I knew you. But I would give you tips here and there and slowly you started to learn how to really play. Then one day you were no longer free, and I had to really try in order to beat you. After a while you became self-sufficient and were able to learn knew things on your own (and beyond my own knowledge) and became a real threat in tournaments.

I was always amazed at the progress you made and I wish you luck in the future. Feel free to stop by the shop anytime to play some games.

 

[gdf]

It was great talking to you, and playing the Lao-Kabal match-up so much. You are an enjoyment to play with, and whenever you feel like playing just hit me up.

 

[Lt. Boxy Angelman]

Love ya, Lou <3. You're gonna be all right, brother. Keep the pimp hand strong.

 

[Dr. Handsome]

Anti depressants are a trap...find a proper outlet.

 

[G4S Claude VonStroke]

 

[Cossner]

Lucy Lou, you'll always have a friend in me whenever you need it.

See you on facebook lol

 

[Espio]

Good luck Luis, hopefully you find the balance and peace of mind you've been searching for all this time.

 

[Srryimwhte]

i'm gonna start practicing mk9 in hopes mk 10 wil be out this spring

thats what i read

 

[Flagg]

I saw this on Facebook recently, and while I usually try and keep a wide berth of stuff like this, I think there is some truth in this one:

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

 

[rev0lver]

Maaaan I like how my shoutout is all negative lol.

Anyway pls don't go. But I understand. I love you and it was awesome having you around (no homo), so good luck with everything and hit me up whenever if you want to.

 

[SwiftTomHanks]

You're a cool guy, may only good things come your way.

 

[Braindead]

Hi Lou. You don't know me here but I was watching you practicing Nightwing once on your stream and you gave me a couple of ideas that I use today. Thanks for that!

I wish you all the best man. I hope you get better very soon.

 

[The Slaj Jazz]

Good luck man. I know what your going through as I have take meds as well

 

[FrozenG3oX]

why are you despressed ?

 

[ryublaze]

Lulzlou I always thought you were awesome and had one of the best Kabals. It was really fun to play with you, sad to see you go. I know how you feel because I went through the same stuff / still going through it today and I too don't really talk that much to people. Video games are definitely a good way to relieve stress and get away from the constant bs that is life but if that doesn't work I always found that listening to or playing music helps in battling depression. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you or if you want to talk over facebook I can PM you my fb account.

 

[Mr Aquaman]

I thought you retired like 9 months ago? scrub

 

[RunwayMafia]

Anti depressants are a trap...find a proper outlet.

Exactly this. I would suggest slowly getting off the meds you are currently on and seriously take up exercise and fitness (not to sound like Tom Cruise but studies show that you if you start a health regimen and working out regularly, your body will create the chemicals your brain needs to combat the depression)

Any who, I remember playing you back in MK9 and your Kabal was very good. I wish you the best and don't be scared to come back!

 

[Lulzlou]

Small break at work, this is all I have time for.
FlipinFlava Thank you. I'll most likely drop by every once in awhile. The comic shop is something I never want to give up. I came there thinking if I had combos down I'd do fine. Turned out to be completely wrong. Kept going back and figuring out what I was doing wrong. I eventually figured it out thanks to you and everyone else.

Braindead I had a lot of cool stuff I came up with for nightwing. I hope you do well with him!

FrozenG3oX RedRaptor10 There is nothing really to talk about. Depression is something completely different than being sad about something. I literally have nothing to complain or be sad about.

Mr Aquaman This is what I was talking about. I get random bursts of motivation then it goes downhill from there. It is beyond frustrating. Its been a constant cycle the past 2years and has gotten worse.

RunwayMafia The problem is the extreme lack of motivation in everything, not just FGs. I havent done a push up since I was 15 and I'm 21 now lol. Its hard for me to start working out. I've tried so many times.

 

[Pig Of The Hut]

Call me anytime

Great to have you as a friend and was extremely awesome playing kabal Kenshi w you

 

[zaf]

love you luis, we will keep in touch as always brother

 

[DownfouralitY]

You were always a great guy to me, and you helped me level up my Kabal a lot in MK9. I wish we could have played more but you weren't on XBL a lot because you had to use pad, but I still wish we could have gotten more games in, and we haven't played Injustice yet. I relate a lot to this post as well, it's sad to see you go man, and I hope you come back soon.

 

[Sao87]

As common as it is to say this you should really consider trying to get off anti-depressants and forcing yourself into situations that help your mental health. My friend has been stuck in the same trap feeling good about anti-depressants his psychologist prescribes him only to have some sort of panic attack down the road and thinking he needs to find some alternative medicine to balance whatever issues he has.

The happiest I ever see him is when he makes a conscious effort to just live a happy life style. That means make an effort to reach out to people you consider to be real friends. Hang out with people and enjoy the social situations you put yourself in. Eat healthier, it will trick your brain into thinking your turning stuff around and make you a more positive person when people say good job dude. The most important part, excercise! Whether its cardio, strength training, swimming, rock climbing, skateboarding, anything. Find something you like that promotes a healthy lifestyle and can become as much of a hobby as your gaming.

You will notice the results and it may not be the solution to all of your issues. But you will find a restored confidence and that is a powerful thing. Good luck buddy.