Im in a bit of a predicament

[Hades]

Ok so basically this thread is about bullying in the work place and a situation im currently contemplating. So basically earlier this afternoon I was at work (I work in a hardware store) and another employee i work with came over and yelled at me and told me i need to get back to work and to stop mucking around (he didn't swear or anything just was angry at me).What made it so much worse was it was one of my old school teachers who used to teach with and whom i have a great deal of respect for. Now basically it was flat out fucking embarrassing to be yelled at in front of my old school teachers and my old school teacher left clearly embarrassed also. This also isnt the first time hes spoken to me like this and to be quite honest im sick of him treating me like shit.

Now the reason im in a predicament is because one of the other employees basically had my back and told him to stop treating me like shit and used a bit of colourful language to describe what he just did and this is another employee i have a great deal of respect for.

So theres a few situations im running through my head right now and i wanted some second opinions on whats a good idea and whats not.

Option 1: complain to management and try and get the situation dealt with in that way, but the issue is the guy who had my back could get caught in the firing line too.

Option 2: talk to him one on one. Now this idea im not a big fan of, basically because this isn't the first time he's spoken to me in this way and i don't think much will come of talking to him... (And hes a stubborn motherfucker)

Option 3: contact my old teacher and ask him to lay a complaint against him. Now i ran through this idea in my head and it seems pretty good but then again i need a second opinion on whether or not this is a safe option.

Anyway id appreciate some feedback, maybe suggestions or what options you think will or wont work. Basically anything because im sick of this employee treating me and others like shit but i also dont want to drag anyone else down in the process.

 

[Konqrr]

Unless there is a threat of or you fear physical harm from this person, always go with option 2 first and if nothing comes of it, go to management. I would tell someone outside of the situation about it and what you plan on doing before you do it as well.

One question that comes to mind is were you "mucking about" and not working? Why would he randomly yell at you?

 

[Big Pampering]

option 2

 

[Big Pampering]

the first one is only an option when the second option doesnt work.

 

[Son ov Timett]

One on one chit chat.

 

[Fractured_Shadow]

Option 2 will: 1. Get you the furthest and 2: will gain you repesct.

Nothing is worse than someone who has an issue and will not contact you directly about it.

I have another option though. If this is a recurring incident have you tried to stop slacking? I mean I don't know if you are or if he just doesn't like you but in my line of work if you really are slacking you better believe you will be spoken harshly to

 

[True Grave]

I'd go with option 3, but that may bring in your other coworker because the one bullying will surly make a mention of him. Especially since he used colorful language and the other didn't. If the person your teacher talks to gets the impression that the customer was concerned about a random employee coming up to another just to scold him, then it would work perfectly. If management and other employees say you do your work diligently and the one yelling doesn't or just scolds you then they might have to reprimand him. The one using the language at best, if it's his first time, may only get a warning/write up. Unless it affected other customers. Remember, the customer is calling to complain about the guy yelling, not you. Just make sure you tell management about the other incidents and if other fellow coworker were there to witness the act.

 

[Zyphox]

see i can't deal with that if someone talks to me like that i would tell him straight up that its his last chance, if he talks like that to me again there is going to be problems. not trying to act like a tough guy, its just how i grew up in brooklyn, florida (bad part) you really can't take shit from no one. 2 and a half years ago i used to work at walgreens and same thing happened, i told her calmly lower your voice you are not my mother and you don't know me next time you speak to me its with a respectful tone. the bad part about that was she was the assistant manager for the store. if your not kissing your bosses ass it feels like you don't get anywhere in a job like that so i left. i went from that to making 62k in 2013 (which was a lot more than they make) at 20-21 years old.

anyway with your situation i would just talk to him 1v1. i would sit down and make points, first tell him when did you become the boss around here? and apologize to him for not giving him a mothers day card because he's yelling at you like your mom would when you were young. then tell it to him straight, you went there with one goal in mind, for him to treat you with respect and that he should appreciate an up front talk about it instead of going straight to managers. give him an ultimatum, either he stops or it goes to HR.

 

[Hades]

By the way guys i wasnt or have never been mucking around when hes yelled at me. We were tidying up outside the store and bringing things in when i saw a bike in the way. I was just about or move it before i noticed my old school teacher coming over to jump on his bike. I literally was talking to him for 10 seconds before he came over and yelled at me for mucking around. Now where i work the customer comes first and it was definitely unjustified the way he came up to me and basically insulted me in front of my old school teacher.

And yes he just flat out doesnt like me, ive never done anything to him but from what ive heard also talks shit about me behind my back a lot

 

[Hades]

see i can't deal with that if someone talks to me like that i would tell him straight up that its his last chance, if he talks like that to me again there is going to be problems. not trying to act like a tough guy, its just how i grew up in brooklyn, florida (bad part) you really can't take shit from no one. 2 and a half years ago i used to work at walgreens and same thing happened, i told her calmly lower your voice you are not my mother and you don't know me next time you speak to me its with a respectful tone. the bad part about that was she was the assistant manager for the store. if your not kissing your bosses ass it feels like you don't get anywhere in a job like that so i left. i went from that to making 62k in 2013 (which was a lot more than they make) at 20-21 years old.

anyway with your situation i would just talk to him 1v1. i would sit down and make points, first tell him when did you become the boss around here? and apologize to him for not giving him a mothers day card because he's yelling at you like your mom would when you were young. then tell it to him straight, you went there with one goal in mind, for him to treat you with respect and that he should appreciate an up front talk about it instead of going straight to managers. give him an ultimatum, either he stops or it goes to HR.

Hahaha my issue is i dont really get angry and ive never even really yelled at anyone in my whole life. Ive always been a naturally calm person and after doing martial arts for 11 years the only reason ill ever be aggressive is competitively. But i like the idea of talking to him about treating me with respect when I've done absolutely nothin wrong. Its like my mum said to me theres always going to be at least one asshole in your work place. Its just difficult thinking about how to approach the situation but this has definitely given me something to think about. Really appreciate the input man and im glad to know im not the only one whos been in one of these bullshit situations.

 

[Fractured_Shadow]

By the way guys i wasnt or have never been mucking around when hes yelled at me. We were tidying up outside the store and bringing things in when i saw a bike in the way. I was just about or move it before i noticed my old school teacher coming over to jump on his bike. I literally was talking to him for 10 seconds before he came over and yelled at me for mucking around. Now where i work the customer comes first and it was definitely unjustified the way he came up to me and basically insulted me in front of my old school teacher.

And yes he just flat out doesnt like me, ive never done anything to him but from what ive heard also talks shit about me behind my back a lot

Well in that case, fuck him. Talk to him one on one and see what his issue is. If he doesn't want to handle the problem the professional way then it would be time to go over his head. As a supervisor the first question I ask is if the two parties tried to work it out before coming to me. If one party has and the other is blowing him off and generally being a douche then I know who the problem is coming from...

 

[Hades]

Well in that case, fuck him. Talk to him one on one and see what his issue is. If he doesn't want to handle the problem the professional way then it would be time to go over his head. As a supervisor the first question I ask is if the two parties tried to work it out before coming to me. If one party has then I know who the problem is coming from...

Yeah i think ill probably have a chat with him tomorrow about it and try and sort this out. He is the type of person to kiss up to me and do anything to keep himself out of trouble though and then stab me in the back in some way that ends up in me getting in trouble even though ive done nothing wrong. Hes had plenty of run ins with other employees and im not the first person who hes pissed off too.

 

[bettyswallaux]

Is it just you specifically he does it too man? I had this issue in work a few years ago which in the end got me fired because I lost my temper, I would try talking to him first and if he doesn't listen go to management so they can bring him down a peg or 2

 

[Justice]

Option 2 is always the best course. Only go to your supervisor when you have exhausted all other options on your own because you don't want management to think you can't deal with problems on your own and need to be babysat.

 

[Catnip_Her0]

Unless he puts hands on you just ignore the fool. Words ain't nothin but air and vibrations man.

 

[EndofGameBoss]

If he yells at you again for a lack of reasoning, I would tell him to chill out with all that noise and tell him how it is going to be going forward. If he seems resistant, let it go until he does it again, then you should approach your manager/supervisor. The good thing about your situation is that you have witnesses so he can't bullshit his way out of it.

 

[ThaShiveGeek]

Interesting. Let me tell my story and theory on this. I've been working at this deli for the past two years. I'm a shift manager there, but around September I reapplied to Waffle House where I had been working before I started at the deli. I wanted some extra money. The manager at waffle house was a different person from when I left. Long story short one day he came in at the end of my shift and said I wasn't doing my job how he wanted me to. He started talking to me in a disrespectful manner. Basically trying to prove that he was the manager and i'm his employee lol. Long story short I told dude to not fuckin play with me or we could go outside and fight. Manager or not I'm still a grown ass fuckin man and I'd beat the fuck out you if we weren't clocked in. He calmed down. I quit anyway after that because he started fuckin over my schedule. It wasn't a bad thing kuz like said I'm a shift leader at my first job. So my advice to you is to tell dude to not play with you unless he's trying to take it to a physical level. But only if you have a back up plan to make money. If not then just talk to dude. If that doesn't change complain to the higher up.

 

[Mr Aquaman]

The answer is simple, grow a mustache, lay with his girl, then use that aluminum bat you've had in your trunk for awhile on the guys temple. That should about do it.

 

[Tony at Home]

When someone gets angry at me, I calmly remind them which one of us has enough self control to keep their tone down and their veins under their skin- then remind them that this fact shows I'm more mature, and they should calmly go to the bathroom and have a good cry about whatever repressed events in their past life have caused them to become the giant douche monster standing in front of me.

Or something like that.