Lets hear some horrible dating experiences from you fine folks

[Spitfire Riggz]

oh man i have some mexico stories as well.. usually the women in mexico are so much easier to read.. lol ive broken so many helpless hearts in mexico... haha good times

Lol come on man, eventually all of those mexican girls are going to become like our girls. I don't even know why we bitch about them being bitches if we are the ones doing it.

 

[Zoidberg747]

and the gringo accent. Works wonders.

Wait really? I need to get my ass down to Mexico then lol

 

[TaffyMeat]

I met this girl at my friend's father's funeral, so I ended up comforting her. About a year later she texts me and we go out to the park. In the pub later, she tells me that her dog died and she wanted comforting again. Another year later, she found out that her bf had been cheating on her. I had to change my number, because comforting is good until women get clingy.

 

[TarkatanDentist]

REVIVAL TIME! (Maybe...)

There's only one person I've ever been in a relationship with (and it only lasted two months, so whether or not it even counts as a 'relationship' is debatable), and it sucked monkey butt.

It got off to a pretty bad start. Basically he was a friend of a friend, who was joining us on a night out. I didn't interact with him a whole lot, but he kept staring in my general direction and flirting - I mostly ignored it. Then just before I left he randomly gave me his mobile number... needless to say, I was a bit confused by the whole business.

In hindsight getting involved with him was an idiotic decision, but meh, I was naive about such things and didn't really know what to expect. Basically he got incredibly attached to the point of obsession, getting annoyed if I didn't respond to his texts within 2-3 minutes, pestering on FB etc. etc. And when we were together in the flesh, he got frustrated because I didn't like having no shirt on and there were lots of body parts I didn't like him touching (going into the intricacies of my body discomfort would take forever lol), causing him to whine and moan a lot.

Then he dumped me because he thought I was using him for sex. Even though we'd never even had sex. OK then.

We haven't seen each other in over 12 months, but I still have to phone him occasionally because he's lost almost all of his friends and he's constantly suicidal and stuff. It's a tricky business...

 

[Hemlock]

No one can beat my history of horrible dating experiences. My life from 14 to 29 has been nothing but disaster. In the US and Mexico both.

Somewhere along the line you made a deal with Quan Chi for godlike MK powers in trade for any sort of luck in dating.
Moral of the story: Do not make deals with Quan Chi, even if he gives you a receipt or the money up front.

I have a pretty pathetic story...I went on a date with this older guy and we're at a coffee shop. He proceeds to tell me that he still lives with his mother (he is WAY past the age to be living with his mother) and he's closeted about his sexuality to her. I think to myself, "Okay, whatever, I can still get to know him and maybe we can be friends or something." His phone rings (please put your phones on silent when you're on a date, unless you are doing the "bail out method") and he answers it. It's his mom. She wants to know where he is, so he goes into this unnecessarily elaborate lie about picking up papers from someone which unleashes this torrent of questions from his mom that he was not prepared for: Why do you need the papers? Didn't Steve fax them? Aren't they on the kitchen table? Let me go look. They're on the kitchen table. What do you mean updated version? They have yesterday's date on them. ETC.

So I wasn't impressed just sitting there and watching this guy lie like crazy and then start berating his mom. Not a great first impression.

I tried to end the date (I took the bus to where we met up) and he offered to drive me home. I thought to myself, "Nope, just want to get away from this guy" He insisted, and mentioned that he'd have to pass my house to get to his neighborhood. Famous last words in my mind: "What's the worse that could happen?"

He drives me home and tries to impress me by singing along to the radio. *We now interrupt this story for a special report*

Hemlock's Dating Tips, sponsored by TestYourMight
1: Don't sing along to the radio on a date
2: If you do, make sure you are fantastic singer
3: ...and that you know the words to the song you are singing.
*end of special report*

We got to his house, and I insisted he drop me off at the corner as opposed to actually finding out which building I live in. I say thanks for the ride. I had this feeling that he was going to try to kiss me. I moved in for a quick hug in hopes of avoiding any kiss. In MK terms, I tried to bait out meter burn to avoid an unblockable. He held on to me after the hug and said "How about a kiss?" I said, "Not at this time." He said, "What, no kiss?" *We now interrupt this story for a special report*

Hemlock's Dating Tips II, sponsored by TestYourMight
1: Don't ever ask for a kiss
2: If you do, and the answer is no, respect it
3: Complaining about not getting a kiss never makes someone suddenly realize they want to kiss you
*end of special report*

 

[Euphoric]

Was supposed to go to a beach with this chick, this is the first time hanging out with her from outside our friend circle in which I've only hung out with her 3 times, it rains, beach closes, we're forced to do something since we're already hanging out, we go back to her place...she asks me to pick a movie, I was indecisive, so I went with...






















































Black Swan.

I shoulda just watched Tangled .

 

[Hemlock]

Black Swan.

I wish I was there to hear the awkward silence after the end of the film.

 

[Under_The_Mayo]

we go back to her place...she asks me to pick a movie, I was indecisive, so I went with...


Black Swan.

I shoulda just watched Tangled .

Dude, check this out. I met a girl online who lived 6 hours away. We talked a couple weeks, made a date to meet. Really nice kinda preppy girl.

I drove the six hours, and I brought a movie for us to watch together in the hotel. American Psycho.

What is wrong with my decision making?

 

[redeyes]

My Girlfriend said hi to me a year ago last week.

still havent figured a way to shake her.

 

[Hemlock]

Dude, check this out. I met a girl online who lived 6 hours away. We talked a couple weeks, made a date to meet. Really nice kinda preppy girl.

I drove the six hours, and I brought a movie for us to watch together in the hotel. American Psycho.

What is wrong with my decision making?

oh man oh man oh man. Mayo, you teach me Quan, I'll teach you dating. Deal?

 

[ShadowBeatz]

One time I went on a date.

That's it.

 

[Hemlock]

One time I went on a date.

That's it.

You dropped your combo. You need to reset!

 

[Killphil]

You dropped your combo. You need to reset!

He doesn't know how to reset, because like just like in mk, he's a scrub when it comes to dating.

Now me: I was getting hit on by this dancer at the bar last night. I was totally oblivious to it and went back to playing video poker despite her trying to talk to me. She eventually left, and I didn't go after her. Yea, I was told I just did a "catch and release". I had her, and I let her go! I didn't know though, as subtlety isn't my strong suit.

 

[ShadowBeatz]

You dropped your combo. You need to reset!

Fuck that. I hate dating. It's so awkward all the time.

Just wish more girls would skip that step and just say "hey, you wanna meet here at this time on this day and bang" cuz, lbsh, that's the main reason people get into relationships anyway

 

[187x]

lol I refuse to say mine

Sent from my SCH-R720 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Hemlock]

He doesn't know how to reset, because like just like in mk, he's a scrub when it comes to dating.

Now me: I was getting hit on by this dancer at the bar last night. I was totally oblivious to it and went back to playing video poker despite her trying to talk to me. She eventually left, and I didn't go after her. Yea, I was told I just did a "catch and release". I had her, and I let her go! I didn't know though, as subtlety isn't my strong suit.

So what you're saying is that you did EX net, drained her meter and then she did teleport.

 

[Killphil]

So what you're saying is that you did EX net, drained her meter and then she did teleport.

Input bug, I wasn't trying to net, but it happened anyway. I was so stupefied I couldn't combo...at all. Then she smoked away. She even said she noticed me from across the street. I was in that bar for 40 minutes at least ffs. lol

 

[Hemlock]

I love these MK dating metaphors

What do you call it when you talk to someone online but when you meet they aren't as good looking as their profile photo?

ONLINE LAG

What do you do when you see your former bf/gf at a party and slip out before they see you?

EX BACKDASH

What do they do when they see you trying to leave and give you a dirty look?

(E)X-RAY PUNISH

What do you call it when you are dating two people at the same time?

OPTION SELECT

Why do people by drinks for pretty people at bars?

HIT CONFIRM

 

[Akromaniac27]

This thread is hilarious, though mine isn't all that funny

My only "bad/awkward" relationship experience was with a guy I had a crush on that I had met through the family. Long story short for him, my family got to know him through church(I don't do churches, nor religion, not my cup of tea), and from my cousin I find out he's "straight" now but was gay...I never had this wonderful opportunity to see how a person claiming that was like, so I gave it a go and before you know it, we started going out; at least that's what I would call it since we texted, called and hung out frequently and he would say things like "I love you so much" and "I miss you so much" and shit like that, he wanted to call it "just friends". I don't know about you straight men, but do you say these things to another man, and one you just recently met?

Anyways, we hung out at his place a few times and things would get...interesting. Getting touchy and stuff, meanwhile when the opportunity arose, he would give his points of views and whatnot on Christianity I guess in a way to reassure himself its "wrong"?(which I still find silly, practically everything anyone does nowadays is a "sin" and all sins deem to you hell according to the bible, plus there are many homosexual animals, so its not like its "unnatural"). Also randomly talking about girls when the topic at hand was nowhere near that subject. In the end, we seem to have gotten past that wall and he actually kissed me and said he loved me, then told me he wished I was a girl -__________- (gee, fucking thanks). Theeeeen things started going downhill from that point on. He started feeling conflicted, every time I asked if we could hang out, he said he had a church meeting(which unfortunately he actually did have frequently, though he would skip them in the past, but not anymore) and eventually stopped talking to me. I contacted him a few times recently to see how he was doing and without fail he keeps mentioning hes good thanks to god and all that biblical stuff. Though I had feelings for him, I'm glad now it ended though cuz it seems like that wall has risen again reinforced and it would've been a shitty mess in the future had it continued

 

[Hemlock]

You're definitely better off without him, but man, I'm sorry to hear that. It's really frustrating when he says things like "I love you" and then turns around and said "I wish you were a girl". I have dated closeted people in the past; it's usually a dead end. I was in the closet once before, I'm definitely not going back for anyone.

Obviously, all those problems lie within him, not you. He is conflicted and doesn't accept himself, so how is he going to accept you? I hope your next dating situation is with someone who is comfortable and proud of who they are! The old adage "You can't love anyone until you love yourself" is definitely true here.