Why Is My Life So Cruel..

[Might-Taro 19]

I can't really take it anymore guys. don't want to be here...and I understand that I've been put here for a purpose but tbh that " purpose" is currently not possible regarding my situation. Even within that purpose..nothing matters anymore. I've suffered enough being alive for only 19 years. Most of it was full of shit. It still is and I really do not appreciate or respect every Bs that happened to me. Enough is fucking enough! to the point where its taking away my own soul. Idk who I am anymore...I always end up regretting even the little things I do. I'm so picky, I have 0 real circle of friends and I deleted all my god damn social media because I got cyber bullied. Whenever I make a friend the relation would always be toxic...its so pointless. Whenever I like a chick there is never really the right opportunity and I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. I talked to my fucking therapists today finally and they were no help what's so ever! Nobody can fucking help me and I can't stand having to deal with my Trash solo. It feels lonely..it feels absolutely despairing like it your own heart was cut in half. I'm tired of my negative mind giving me unwanted thoughts. Im tired feeling like a slave to my own mind. I'm done...higher power please put me to sleep already. Its enough that you fooled me..

 

[NoobsUseScorpion]

I can't really take it anymore guys. don't want to be here...and I understand that I've been put here for a purpose but tbh that " purpose" is currently not possible regarding my situation. Even within that purpose..nothing matters anymore. I've suffered enough being alive for only 19 years. Most of it was full of shit. It still is and I really do not appreciate or respect every Bs that happened to me. Enough is fucking enough! to the point where its taking away my own soul. Idk who I am anymore...I always end up regretting even the little things I do. I'm so picky, I have 0 real circle of friends and I deleted all my god damn social media because I got cyber bullied. Whenever I make a friend the relation would always be toxic...its so pointless. Whenever I like a chick there is never really the right opportunity and I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. I talked to my fucking therapists today finally and they were no help what's so ever! Nobody can fucking help me and I can't stand having to deal with my Trash solo. It feels lonely..it feels absolutely despairing like it your own heart was cut in half. I'm tired of my negative mind giving me unwanted thoughts. Im tired feeling like a slave to my own mind. I'm done...higher power please put me to sleep already. Its enough that you fooled me..

it’ll be ok man you can pull through, 19 i felt the same, you’ll manage

 

[HAMMER]

"Suffered enough" - subjective.

But, if you truly feel this bad.

Why not hide your pain with drugs?

Pain isn't love like they say.

Once you grow older you'll become desensitized like the rest of us.

Rot away slowly, it's far better than wasting your life all in one DROP.

 

[miti_mumway]

Look I know the Sonic movie trailer was bad, but your reaction is a bit extreme.

In all seriousness, I don't know your situation but I've been self-loathing and suicidal for 31 years, it sorta gets easier with age, you just gotta figure out what life is worth to you. I hate my job and have very little faith that my dream of finishing my novel series can ever amount to anything, but you only get one life... So make the most of it. Simple words but the sooner you accept it the better. Sit down. Watch some anime, read a book, try to absorb stories and learn things. That's what I focused on at your age. Hope it helps.

 

[Sage Leviathan]

@Might-Taro 19

Stop.
Assess your situation, and focus on making it better. Not everything that accosts you in life is your fault, but it's ultimately up to you to find a solution.

It is your life, after all. Make it mean something.

 

[Icefyre]

I talked to my fucking therapists today finally and they were no help what's so ever!

So I don't have time to completely get to this right now, but I would like to point something out: no therapist is going to make a difference after just one session. Or even three. Dealing with these things takes time, and often quite a lot of it. You really can't expect a quick fix for these sorts of things. I suffered with depression for 6 years before finally doing something about it. What I didn't do, and I'm glad for it, is give up after 1 therapy session. They eventually figured out my deep seated issues, helped me to talk about them, and we found anti-depressants that work for me.

My life is pretty good now, but it took a lot of effort and struggle to get to where I am. You can't give up, or you'll never know the other side of the coin you're currently sitting on. My advice: keep seeing your therapist. If you don't end up liking him/her, give it some time and begin searching for a new one. I promise you, there is somebody who can help you.

My inbox is open if you want to ask anything, and I'll see what I can do to help - however, just because I've been in your shoes and in therapy before doesn't mean that I'll be a good replacement for a trained professional. I'd be more than happy to try and help in the mean time, though.

 

[Rozalin1780]

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they wonder if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You’re just sick of the tunnel. Remember, quiting doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse. It eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better.

 

[Sugarwatermixlegit]

Life can be badass and the only way to know is to be here. You'll find true happiness one day, and if anything gets in your way, fuck em. If you ever need to talk or anything, PM dude and I'll link you my insta or Facebook or whatever. You're worth it.

 

[NaCl man]

@STORMS can you check on thus dude. He hasn't replied

 

[stokedAF]

Sounds like you hit rock bottom. The good news is that you are 19 and have a long time to figure your shit out. If it can’t get any worse then what do you have to lose? It’s only uphill from here.

Most people find their friends in school or work. People congregate in the same spots. Go to college for whatever. You’re not even 21 yet so you can’t even legally go get drunk and take some random chick home. You’re what, 2 years out of high school?

Go to the bar and play pool or darts. Or whatever hobby you like to do. You have 2 years to get good at pool. Go hustle people out their cash. Or just go chill and meet people, it’s easier when you win because you stay on the table. The same people go these spots every week. Find a spot with cool people and it happens naturally. You don’t even have to try. Go play fucking magic cards at a comic shop lol, whatever you want. You can’t meet people like this my dude.

Most of us don’t hang out with our childhood friends, I see mine at weddings lol. People move on, the world is always moving on and it waits for no one. That’s why it feels so shitty when you stop moving and give up. Adapt and evolve, it’s the human way. You’re not alone.

 

[MateoFoShizzle]

Try jiu jitsu brother. I can't say without lying that I completely know where you're coming from - but I'm a first responder that sees terrible, traumatic shit day in and day out. BJJ is a great mental shut off from all that bad - it gets you to think about the task at hand, it's great exercise (and believe me once you're body starts time feel better your mind will follow), and it's great socially. I haven't been to a school yet that isn't welcoming of all people, regardless of your background or story. And don't be afraid going in that it's a "jock" sport, it's the silent "nerdier" guys that are assassins on the mats.

Find something physically that you enjoy doing and embrace it. You can't sit and wallow away in your pain otherwise you're going to lose. I always recommend BJJ because it's proven to help with depression, lower self-confidence, PTSD - but find what makes you happy man. Jump in and own that shit and make it yours.

 

[BookBurning]

What you need to realize is that you're only 19 and things get better depending on how you approach them. When I was 19, I was jobless, had long ass hair, had no money and ultimately hated life also.

Shit gets better. Go to university, take out student loans if you have to, meet a girl in school. Do something to cultivate yourself, it will be hard at first but you'll feel much better in the end.

Also stop being so edgy.

 

[ItsYaBoi]

Some of the replies in here are absolutely horrible tbh. Definitely not what you say to people feeling depressed/suicidal...

 

[MateoFoShizzle]

Don't be like this guy ^

 

[ItsYaBoi]

Don't be like this guy ^

Ow the edge.

 

[SaladPlateLover]

I thing that has helped me most in the past year is knowing how easy it is to be hard on yourself, and how hard it is to accept yourself and your circumstances. Nothing is truly within our control as our emotions effect our actions and our actions effect our emotions. However I think this is something that has been to learned through experience rather than being told. So the best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself time. From one taro lover to the next, good luck

 

[Scyther]

I can't really take it anymore guys. don't want to be here...and I understand that I've been put here for a purpose but tbh that " purpose" is currently not possible regarding my situation. Even within that purpose..nothing matters anymore. I've suffered enough being alive for only 19 years. Most of it was full of shit. It still is and I really do not appreciate or respect every Bs that happened to me. Enough is fucking enough! to the point where its taking away my own soul. Idk who I am anymore...I always end up regretting even the little things I do. I'm so picky, I have 0 real circle of friends and I deleted all my god damn social media because I got cyber bullied. Whenever I make a friend the relation would always be toxic...its so pointless. Whenever I like a chick there is never really the right opportunity and I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. I talked to my fucking therapists today finally and they were no help what's so ever! Nobody can fucking help me and I can't stand having to deal with my Trash solo. It feels lonely..it feels absolutely despairing like it your own heart was cut in half. I'm tired of my negative mind giving me unwanted thoughts. Im tired feeling like a slave to my own mind. I'm done...higher power please put me to sleep already. Its enough that you fooled me..

Hey man, like many have said, 19 is a tough time in life. A lot of us have been there, so we know how you feel. And no, sadly one therapy session isn't going to help much. It takes time, reflection, and a lot of venting to start healing.

I would suggest, if you can, getting evaluated by a physician and see if anti-depressants may help. They've certainly helped me. Again, they'll take time to start working, but it's worth it. I promise.

And don't fret about not having a lot of friends. You'll find people who click with you in due time. You're 19. You've a lot of years to build a circle of good friends. In the meantime, you have us! ^^

Lastly, know you're loved by someone, man. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you are. I don't know you in real life, but I care about you as another human being. Get help, see a doctor, call the suicide hotline if you're feeling like doing something rash and harmful to yourself. 1-800-273-8255 (24 hours a day), value yourself.

And don't be afraid to reach out to me via PM. ^^

 

[Corrupted Shinnok]

My boy Shinnok got beheaded and he couldn't even die, now that's a cruel destiny. And that makes me love him even more.

Whenever I feel that way, I remember that I embody a MK top villain. Nobody likes villains, everyone hates them. Yet they love themselves and fight for their dreams.

 

[virtiqaL]

Clean up your diet.
Exercise.
Go to bed on time.
You'll feel better.

If you don't have a clear path or are undecided on your future, join the military, if not that, join the trades.

But let's keep it real, you didn't make this post because you wanted genuine advice, nor are you interested in applying any good advice anyway.

So, I'll tell you what you want to hear. If you think life is tough at 19, well, it only gets worse from here, buddy. You might as well tap out now if you aren't willing to grab your nuts and run with the cards you were dealt.

Source: Am 30, have been 19.

inb4 'edgy'

 

[AZ MotherBrain]

I’m 27 and I felt the same when I was 19. I had to move to Arizona with my parents because I wasn’t ready to live on my own yet. I was uprooted from my home, friends, and everything I knew from Virginia. I know how it feels to be wayyyyyy out of your comfort zone, but you gotta break through it out it will eat you alive. I’m married and a homeowner now and am as happy as I ever been. Had I just sat at home and dwell on how my life used to be, I’d just be sitting around bitching about where I ended up. The best advice I can give you is get out of that comfort zone and do things. Experience life and keep your head up and do shit. You’re the soultion to your own problems.

 

[Tanya-Fan-28]

I'm 21, still live with my mother who never fails to make me feel like shit/walk on eggshells wondering when she is going to throw something at me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19 and a whole year later the so-called psycholigist said it was a 'misdiagnoses' and told me I was actually developedly delayed after FINALLY looking at my IQ assessment which was a score of 50 something (I think, well below average). Every doctor I met had this 'your life is in my hands' attitude, and written on paper that I'm not going to be able to live on my own ect. This put me through a dark chapter of self loathing. I can't work because my mother put me on Disability income. Something that I've always said is: I'm dumb enough to not function like an average person but I'm smart enough to be depressed about it. Before I was diagnosed, my life was different, I had friends who were normal, everyone thought I was going to college just like my peers, no one could tell I had any learning issues because of the way I talk. Even the psycholigist couldn't tell at first, hence the misdiagnosis. I got put into programs I didn't with people who were very visible mental disabilities because there's non with ppl my mental level, so they just lump everyone in one thing like its an afterthought. Its super embarrassing for your old highschool friends who are succeeding to see you in one of those programs. I feel like my life is over, everything I was looking forward to being in my early twenties went down the drain. I get resentful that anything in general wasn't diagnosed for 19 whole years. Nobody knew or caught on, everybody thought I was just the daydreamy, artsy type. If I'm so disabled, why did it take 19 years to catch anything? I'm stuck with an emotional abusive mother who gives me constant anxiety (Its not just me who thinks that of my mother, my sister despises her). My story isn't parallel to yours but I just wanted to be known that you aren't alone, and I hope atleast even just a little bit that MK or these forums are an escape for you like it is for me. If u ever wanna do a match let me know.

 

[GLoRToR]

When you feel like this, remember the other times you felt similar.
It always goes away.
It always gets better.

 

[Might-Taro 19]

I'm 21, still live with my mother who never fails to make me feel like shit/walk on eggshells wondering when she is going to throw something at me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19 and a whole year later the so-called psycholigist said it was a 'misdiagnoses' and told me I was actually developedly delayed after FINALLY looking at my IQ assessment which was a score of 50 something (I think, well below average). Every doctor I met had this 'your life is in my hands' attitude, and written on paper that I'm not going to be able to live on my own ect. This put me through a dark chapter of self loathing. I can't work because my mother put me on Disability income. Something that I've always said is: I'm dumb enough to not function like an average person but I'm smart enough to be depressed about it. Before I was diagnosed, my life was different, I had friends who were normal, everyone thought I was going to college just like my peers, no one could tell I had any learning issues because of the way I talk. Even the psycholigist couldn't tell at first, hence the misdiagnosis. I got put into programs I didn't with people who were very visible mental disabilities because there's non with ppl my mental level, so they just lump everyone in one thing like its an afterthought. Its super embarrassing for your old highschool friends who are succeeding to see you in one of those programs. I feel like my life is over, everything I was looking forward to being in my early twenties went down the drain. I get resentful that anything in general wasn't diagnosed for 19 whole years. Nobody knew or caught on, everybody thought I was just the daydreamy, artsy type. If I'm so disabled, why did it take 19 years to catch anything? I'm stuck with an emotional abusive mother who gives me constant anxiety (Its not just me who thinks that of my mother, my sister despises her). My story isn't parallel to yours but I just wanted to be known that you aren't alone, and I hope atleast even just a little bit that MK or these forums are an escape for you like it is for me. If u ever wanna do a match let me know.

Geez I'm sorry to what your going through Tanya. Most of my years Ive actually been in special education even though I don't have mental disabilities in that extreme manner. Its only because I wasn't really smart with subjects and needed to take extra routes to to get better at them. In fact im 19 and still in special education. Almost done graduating though so that won't last any longer than only a couple of months. But I came to respond to show that I have empathy for you * hugs* do wish you that things will get better. The last thing I can relate is me and my older brother had a awful toxic past together which led to us not talking or hanging out at all anymore. Life just changes...everyday is not really the same.

 

[Krankk]

I have quite a bit of experience with mental illness and mentally ill people. I can tell when someone is truly in need of help and guidance, and when someone is pretty much only looking for attention.

This case is not one of those first cases.

 

[Might-Taro 19]

I have quite a bit of experience with mental illness and mentally ill people. I can tell when someone is truly in need of help and guidance, and when someone is pretty much only looking for attention.

This case is not one of those first cases.

I vented all my bullshit even though I wasnt expecting that many responses. If I was trying to seek attention I would have instead made a less serious post. Your dumbass knowledge isn't going anywhere better. Think before you post. Everyones fucking different. You can't expect people to all have the same intentions of themselves. My personal intention is empty...heck idk why I bothered making this thread!

 

[Krankk]

I vented all my bullshit even though I wasnt expecting that many responses. If I was trying to seek attention I would have instead made a less serious post. Your dumbass knowledge isn't going anywhere better. Think before you post. Everyones fucking different. You can't expect people to all have the same intentions of themselves. My personal intention is empty...heck idk why I bothered making this thread!

Kid, this isn't the first time you're posting that non-sense on TYM. In the MK11 sub-forum too, which has nothing to do with your problems.

The first time you did it, I rolled my eyes since I saw through you, but still offered advice and an ear. So did many others. You however didn't take that advice. Instead you complained about how everyone on TYM hates you and then you left TYM forever.

Yet here you are again. Just like I had seen it coming the first time. You're a certain type of person. I've seen so many of you. It's always the same shit.

To everyone else, who might actually be concerned: Trust me, he will be fine.