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Week 10 Salt Report

SneakyTortoise

Official Master of Salt
Tanya

Who’d have thought a girl on a pole could get so much attention from guys? Well, we certainly can’t stop talking about her. This week’s salt with her started when MIT defeated young Sonic with her, leading to claims that this is obviously justification for nerfs. We then had the “How good is Tanya really?” thread and the “Tanya should be nerfed” thread, both of which provided excellent entertainment. Some of you may not know, but Tom Brady, Lord of the Fly, MIT and M2Dave actually met up this week at a bar for some drinks and to discuss the game, and I have happened to sneakily obtain a copy of a transcript of the conversation for you all.
LOTF: So guys, what do you really think of Tanya?

Dave: Finally I have an option against these illiterate rush-down fools!

LOTF: But she’s not as good as people think right, Tom?

Tom: Let me tell you something about Sub-Zero. All the filthy animals cried for nerfs for Sub-Zero because they hated my clone, but no, everyone loves Tanya. Now I’m gonna give all the Jackals and Hyenas their food. EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

*Dave and LOTF roll their eyes*

Random drunk: Yo, I know a guy with like 400 wins and 27 losses with Tanya, you just need to master her and git gud like he did fly

*Fly knocks his ass out, then takes a selfie*

LOTF: MIT, get away from the jukebox and tell us what you think about Tanya. She’s overrated right?

Tom: God, why did you put the Jurassic Park soundtrack on? We could have had some classic Astley

MIT: NA-NA NAAA NA NA, NA-NA NAAA NA NA…
LOTF: MIT! Back me up man, she’s not that great right?

MIT: She’s top 5 yeaaaaaaap

*Tom orders a “banana in the tailpipe” from a waitress*

SonicFox fan4999: MIT only beat the chosen one because of Tanya, she’s clearly OP.

*Dave and Fly leave the bar in disgust, after Dave throws a perfectly aimed shot glass at SFF4999's head, leaving a drunken Tom alone at the table*

Tom: Did I ever tell you guys about the time I beat DJT in the mirror? I told him before hand to kiss his momma at the bus stop, because I’m taking him to school!

It’s said that Tom has been wandering and lost ever since, telling strangers he’s a lawyer. Some have even reported hearing a whispering in the wind on chilly nights, saying “I release you”.


Ferra/Torr

As if their arcade ending wasn’t tragic enough, they are now apparently a lock for bottom 5 among most TYM members and contenders for bottom one. I’m just going to say one thing. If you see a F/T main agreeing with you/downplaying, remember the words of Admiral Ackbar


Community Salt
Yomi

Apparently a group of the USA’s best MK players, getting together and training hard at the game, then dominating in tournaments, just ruins the fun for everyone. The evil Yomi have created a language to communicate with each other, consisting of less than 5 words, resulting in a repetitive sentence structure, which proves to irritate all those within earshot. The salt force is strong with this team. So strong, in fact, that they even managed to instigate a war between Lebanon and Mexico, which ended even stranger than it began.

Special service announcement to help Eddy Wang. Can the two people who have privately messaged him over the last 4 months please slow it down a little. You don’t know how difficult it can be to reply to such a copious amount of requests. I hear he would greatly appreciate a voluntary assistant to help him with all of your requests.


 
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KingKhrystopher

Official Merlin of TYM
Somebody took their time with this one lol. Even Tom has started playing Tanya lol. "I almost selected Sub-Zero, but I told you hyenas you wouldn't see him anymore."
 

STRYKIE

Are ya' ready for MK11 kids?!
The salt force is strong with this team. So strong, in fact, that they even managed to instigate a war between Lebanon and Mexico, which ended even stranger than it began.
The most damning part of this is that people from the outside FGC who read this probably assume that this means two people in Yomi just picked up Gaucho Lao and Jingu Kitana....
 

I GOT HANDS

Official Infrared Scorp wid gapless Wi-Fi pressure
Kinda sub-par, so much salt this week and this one was over before it began.

Thanks anyway tho
 

Gamer68

Fujin!
Tanya
Who’d have thought a girl on a pole could get so much attention from guys? Well, we certainly can’t stop talking about her. This week’s salt with her started when MIT defeated young Sonic with her, leading to claims that this is obviously justification for nerfs. We then had the “How good is Tanya really?” thread and the “Tanya should be nerfed” thread, both of which provided excellent entertainment. Some of you may not know, but Tom Brady, Lord of the Fly, MIT and M2Dave actually met up this week at a bar for some drinks and to discuss the game, and I have happened to sneakily obtain a copy of a transcript of the conversation for you all.


LOTF: So guys, what do you really think of Tanya?

Dave: Finally I have an option against these illiterate rush-down fools!

LOTF: But she’s not as good as people think right, Tom?

Tom: Let me tell you something about Sub-Zero. All the filthy animals cried for nerfs for Sub-Zero because they hated my clone, but no, everyone loves Tanya. Now I’m gonna give all the Jackals and Hyenas their food. EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
LOL! I actually laughed at this!
 
Special service announcement to help Eddy Wang. Can the two people who have privately messaged him over the last 4 months please slow it down a little. You don’t know how difficult it can be to reply to such a copious amount of requests. I hear he would greatly appreciate a voluntary assistant to help him with all of your requests.
#Dead
 

Doombawkz

Trust me, I'm a doctor
Tortise, I recommend the F/T community for next weeks salt report.

Ruthless buffs that were useless were bad enough...
But not even actually getting the buffs.