Groove Heaven
Jobber-baron
1. Papa Johns for having their arrogant and off-putting CEO lie to us about what goes into their scrotumtrash pizza. I hope that when Papa John dies his punishment in Hell is being perpetually drowned in a sea of frozen sausage.
2. Go Daddy and if I have to explain this one you've never seen a Go Daddy commercial. Every time one airs a female angel loses her wings.
3. Progressive Insurance for raising Flo's dilapidated corpse from the ground and forcing it to dance for our sick amusement.
4. Wendy's for having a spokeswoman so annoying that every time I see her I come close to renouncing my feminist ideals. After they started airing her ad campaign, I can't bring myself to eat their food but I still stop in every now and again to take a shit.
5. Taco Bell for having Lorena Garcia big them up like they make gourmet food as if we don't know that their meat comes from animals that basically have AIDS.
6. eHarmony with the creepy-ass owner/creator exemplifying why you hire actors for commercials. This man has undergone so much plastic surgery that at this point he looks like a magical talking catcher's mitt.
7. The General Insurance for having actors straight from Tim & Eric awkwardly interact with CGI models designed on a calculator. I'm pretty sure that they're just loan sharks who decided to throw some shitty commercials out there to provide them with more knee-caps to shatter.
8. State Farm for putting President Palmer from 24's voice over a bunch of weird white people but also for making me listen to obnoxious teen hipsters sing their jingle "hilariously" off key some 400,000 times.
9. Geico for refusing to retire the unfathomably tired Gecko and telegraphing that they're going to do the same with the folk duo.
10. Adidas for having Run DMC come back from the dead and drop some of the wackest fucking bars over the bunkest fucking beat while they reenact a Godzilla movie.
I was gonna link the videos, but I decided that's beneath even the likes of me. What are some of your most hated of the year? I'm sure you non-Adblock-owning stream monsters have had to sit through some awful ones on Twitch.
2. Go Daddy and if I have to explain this one you've never seen a Go Daddy commercial. Every time one airs a female angel loses her wings.
3. Progressive Insurance for raising Flo's dilapidated corpse from the ground and forcing it to dance for our sick amusement.
4. Wendy's for having a spokeswoman so annoying that every time I see her I come close to renouncing my feminist ideals. After they started airing her ad campaign, I can't bring myself to eat their food but I still stop in every now and again to take a shit.
5. Taco Bell for having Lorena Garcia big them up like they make gourmet food as if we don't know that their meat comes from animals that basically have AIDS.
6. eHarmony with the creepy-ass owner/creator exemplifying why you hire actors for commercials. This man has undergone so much plastic surgery that at this point he looks like a magical talking catcher's mitt.
7. The General Insurance for having actors straight from Tim & Eric awkwardly interact with CGI models designed on a calculator. I'm pretty sure that they're just loan sharks who decided to throw some shitty commercials out there to provide them with more knee-caps to shatter.
8. State Farm for putting President Palmer from 24's voice over a bunch of weird white people but also for making me listen to obnoxious teen hipsters sing their jingle "hilariously" off key some 400,000 times.
9. Geico for refusing to retire the unfathomably tired Gecko and telegraphing that they're going to do the same with the folk duo.
10. Adidas for having Run DMC come back from the dead and drop some of the wackest fucking bars over the bunkest fucking beat while they reenact a Godzilla movie.
I was gonna link the videos, but I decided that's beneath even the likes of me. What are some of your most hated of the year? I'm sure you non-Adblock-owning stream monsters have had to sit through some awful ones on Twitch.
