Noob Saibot's Shadow-Boxer Box. Great for pranks! Tell your friend to start shadow-boxing, and the Box will make his shadow come alive! Just when he thought shadow-boxing wasn't going to hurt!
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Enenra Shampoo. Transforms your hair into a wispy, silky white style. Mountain snow-scented! (Do not inhale the sweet scent, or risk developing lung- cancer)
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Shang Tsung's Magical Performance-Enhancer: Respirate! Taken through ingesting the gel-based substance, this performance enhancer allows you to run at wickedly fast speeds! Oh, is the fastest runner at your high-school bragging about his speed? Well, with Respirate, you can now say: "Fastest runner you say? Fuck that shit, I can run five hundred times faster than you!" and watch as the females start crowding around you after a great victory!
Respirate also allows you to shoot balls of ki energy out of your face! Tired of getting beat up by your friend who plays shoto-type characters like Ryu, Ken, and Akuma in Street Fighter? With Respirate, you can see how he likes taking a Hadoken to the face, from your face! Shoot at annoying billboards, drivers who like to blast their music out loud, and at unsuspecting bystanders!
Respirate even gives you the ability to toss bladed saws out of your ass! Surprise your foes by hurling a buzzsaw at them!
Purchase Respirate now, for only 7 payments of 9.99$! But wait, if you know someone who got badly burned by a four-armed half-man, half-dragon monster, they can get a permanent dosage of Respirate, absolutely free!
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