Markedman247
Noob
Fatality Make-Over!
Host: Well, hello, friends. Guy DiNardo here. And we have a great episode tonight. We bring in a Mortal Kombat Celeb and boost his ego after he, she, or it got the shaft in the fatality market. So, who's are first guest? It's none other than everyone's favorite behind-the-scenes villain: Quan Chi. Quan Chi!!! Come on down!!!
Announcer: Quan Chi is a pale man that's a denizen of the Netherealm. His hobbies are playing with dolls, breaking wills, and feasting on the sins of those who wronged him.
Guy: Thanks, Rob. So, here we are with Quan Chi. Quan? Can I call you 'Quan?'"
Quan: You can call me the lord of the Netherealm. Dealer of Dirty Deeds. Wielder of Infinite Power. Master of Pup..
Guy: Quan, it is then. Quan. Do you know why you are here?
Quan: To get another soul to torment in the hoary pits of fire. At least that's what the pamphlet says.
Guy: Well, that's not quite it. You see. We took a poll, completely made-up, I assure you, about who has one of the weakest fatalities. Let's go the clip:
Guy: So, audience! Do you think the completely made-up poll that was done in 3 seconds is right?
Single guy in crowd: "That's weak-sauce!"
Guy: See, I told you.
Quan: Look, mortal, I am not here to be made fun of
Guy: But there is so much to make fun of. You break that green thing..
Quan: A talisman. It harnesses my power.
Guy: It could be a Pez Dispenser for the all time it is on the screen. Then, you pull out a sword. From where? Your pants? Doesn't that chaff?
Quan: It is a manifestation of my power. The sword shows that I have keen intelligence and a tremendous wit.
Guy: It shows you are too cheap to create an original one but had to borrow one off some loner with with a mask that reeks with the smell of charred flesh and sulfur that pines for days gone by like an Emo High Schooler without the MCR mp3s on his iPod. I am sure that Five Below has tons of these fatalities at a discount.
Quan: Mortal! That is it. You have wasted my time. You have insulted me. I will take no more of your insufferable rambling.
Guy: Look, I am here to help. I have an idea. A full make-over of your existing fatality. And, I ask... No! Encourage our viewers. All one of them that is watching this in their parents' basement with that must have life-size and anatomically correct Kitana Pillow to call in and toss up ideas. But here's one for free. Are you game, Quan Chi? Lord of Lies? Deceiver of Deceivers? Skull wax afficianado?
Quan: Mortal, it better be good or I will perform my trick on you and toss what's left into flaming maws of Cerebus! And I will put it on YouTube for everyone to laugh at. One of my better ideas to torment mortals, I assure you.
Guy: Well, Quan. Let's bring out our demo crew to show you our thinking!
Man walks out dressed in a pseudo-cosplay version of Quan Chi complete with hair sticking out from under a bad skull cap. He pulls out the green thing and breaks it. Then pulls out a sword. The Victim stands there with the green glow of control over them wafting in from the green gel on the lights overhead.
Quan: Do I really look like that? I thought my skull was a bit more... masculine
Guy: Shh... This is the best part.
The guy puts the sword into the ground within easy reach of the mesmerized victim. The victim and Quan act in unison. Quan pantomimes picking up the sword while the victim, matching movement for movement, actually picks up the sword. With a mimicked movement Quan shoves the make-believe sword into his abdomen where the victim actually does. The victim slumps to the ground onto their knees. Still under Quan's control, the victim matches Quan's movements and puts the tip of the blade under their chin. Quan motions the blade upwards allowing the blade to thrust through the victim's skull. The body flops over with the bloody blade protruding through the skull and faux Quan Chi laughing.
Quan: Wow! Mortal, you have impressed me. I won't mesmerize you to think that you are Micheal Bay and putting a firecracker in your mouth would further the plot of any of your films.
Guy: Um, I take that as a compliment... kinda? *confused* But, that's not why we are here. We are here to take suggestions on how that one fatality could be bettered. Remember viewer that the sword must be used and must deliver the killing blow. Anyone can create a new fatality but using the original elements are the objective.
(note: I was bored and wanted to start a humorous discussion about some minor tweaks to existing MK9 fatalities and what it would take to make them better. This was on GameFAQs MK9 board for the PS3. I know my humor may not be the taste of others. Heck, I am a hack writer for a comedy show called "Incognito Cinema Warriors XP" out of Kansas City so I do have some writing ability. Not much but enough to get a gig. Granted, after that cheap plug (ICWXP.com), I only started writing for season 2 which is coming soon. However, long story short, I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, that's fine. I will let the thread die. However, I hope that this can actually continue a bit to further discussion of this thought exercise. I apologize if this is the wrong forum but this is kind of general discussion.)
Host: Well, hello, friends. Guy DiNardo here. And we have a great episode tonight. We bring in a Mortal Kombat Celeb and boost his ego after he, she, or it got the shaft in the fatality market. So, who's are first guest? It's none other than everyone's favorite behind-the-scenes villain: Quan Chi. Quan Chi!!! Come on down!!!
Announcer: Quan Chi is a pale man that's a denizen of the Netherealm. His hobbies are playing with dolls, breaking wills, and feasting on the sins of those who wronged him.
Guy: Thanks, Rob. So, here we are with Quan Chi. Quan? Can I call you 'Quan?'"
Quan: You can call me the lord of the Netherealm. Dealer of Dirty Deeds. Wielder of Infinite Power. Master of Pup..
Guy: Quan, it is then. Quan. Do you know why you are here?
Quan: To get another soul to torment in the hoary pits of fire. At least that's what the pamphlet says.
Guy: Well, that's not quite it. You see. We took a poll, completely made-up, I assure you, about who has one of the weakest fatalities. Let's go the clip:
Guy: So, audience! Do you think the completely made-up poll that was done in 3 seconds is right?
Single guy in crowd: "That's weak-sauce!"
Guy: See, I told you.
Quan: Look, mortal, I am not here to be made fun of
Guy: But there is so much to make fun of. You break that green thing..
Quan: A talisman. It harnesses my power.
Guy: It could be a Pez Dispenser for the all time it is on the screen. Then, you pull out a sword. From where? Your pants? Doesn't that chaff?
Quan: It is a manifestation of my power. The sword shows that I have keen intelligence and a tremendous wit.
Guy: It shows you are too cheap to create an original one but had to borrow one off some loner with with a mask that reeks with the smell of charred flesh and sulfur that pines for days gone by like an Emo High Schooler without the MCR mp3s on his iPod. I am sure that Five Below has tons of these fatalities at a discount.
Quan: Mortal! That is it. You have wasted my time. You have insulted me. I will take no more of your insufferable rambling.
Guy: Look, I am here to help. I have an idea. A full make-over of your existing fatality. And, I ask... No! Encourage our viewers. All one of them that is watching this in their parents' basement with that must have life-size and anatomically correct Kitana Pillow to call in and toss up ideas. But here's one for free. Are you game, Quan Chi? Lord of Lies? Deceiver of Deceivers? Skull wax afficianado?
Quan: Mortal, it better be good or I will perform my trick on you and toss what's left into flaming maws of Cerebus! And I will put it on YouTube for everyone to laugh at. One of my better ideas to torment mortals, I assure you.
Guy: Well, Quan. Let's bring out our demo crew to show you our thinking!
Man walks out dressed in a pseudo-cosplay version of Quan Chi complete with hair sticking out from under a bad skull cap. He pulls out the green thing and breaks it. Then pulls out a sword. The Victim stands there with the green glow of control over them wafting in from the green gel on the lights overhead.
Quan: Do I really look like that? I thought my skull was a bit more... masculine
Guy: Shh... This is the best part.
The guy puts the sword into the ground within easy reach of the mesmerized victim. The victim and Quan act in unison. Quan pantomimes picking up the sword while the victim, matching movement for movement, actually picks up the sword. With a mimicked movement Quan shoves the make-believe sword into his abdomen where the victim actually does. The victim slumps to the ground onto their knees. Still under Quan's control, the victim matches Quan's movements and puts the tip of the blade under their chin. Quan motions the blade upwards allowing the blade to thrust through the victim's skull. The body flops over with the bloody blade protruding through the skull and faux Quan Chi laughing.
Quan: Wow! Mortal, you have impressed me. I won't mesmerize you to think that you are Micheal Bay and putting a firecracker in your mouth would further the plot of any of your films.
Guy: Um, I take that as a compliment... kinda? *confused* But, that's not why we are here. We are here to take suggestions on how that one fatality could be bettered. Remember viewer that the sword must be used and must deliver the killing blow. Anyone can create a new fatality but using the original elements are the objective.
(note: I was bored and wanted to start a humorous discussion about some minor tweaks to existing MK9 fatalities and what it would take to make them better. This was on GameFAQs MK9 board for the PS3. I know my humor may not be the taste of others. Heck, I am a hack writer for a comedy show called "Incognito Cinema Warriors XP" out of Kansas City so I do have some writing ability. Not much but enough to get a gig. Granted, after that cheap plug (ICWXP.com), I only started writing for season 2 which is coming soon. However, long story short, I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, that's fine. I will let the thread die. However, I hope that this can actually continue a bit to further discussion of this thought exercise. I apologize if this is the wrong forum but this is kind of general discussion.)
