So, we have a 'Forever King', who suddenly became Forever Barefoot AND he got expelled from a tournament (church-temple?). In days long forgotten you could be a savior, the first true Yomi.
Next time spice that story a bit:Just say you went swimming, saw a barefoot hobo, tried to give him your shoes, hobo's pride got hurt by the offer, he smashed your phone, took your watch & smacked your head on the concrete floor resulting in a concussion accompanied by some memory loss. If they don't believe you on the spot, just mention that the hobo had a dark skin complexion.
Probably works better when you wake up white, hungover, next to a prostitute, late for your wedding, the morning after your bachelor party... Prolly won't work at multicultural FGC events (for the best).
Take care & don't mind this drunk guy, lol.