Ooooh, an excuse to tell this story! Ok, here we go, the setup:
My wife Joanie and I had just moved into our new condo and we were having a housewarming party and more than a dozen of our friends decided to come over. At that time I was not really much of a drinker and since my wife doesn't drive that always made me the defacto designated driver. However, because we were partying at my home and there was nowhere I needed to go until the morning when my wife had a babyshower, I decided that I was going to get a *little* drunk that night.
My poison of choice was just a cheap little sweet wine that I drank out of a nice large glass goblet and as the night wore on the alchohol started to get to me, to the point where I would just start bursting out in laughter randomly, and one of my friends who tended to come hang out with us at the time walked over to me and said:
“Damn dude....you're pretty drunk huh? You know what, I think you're drunk enough I can finally beat your ass. I challenge you to a game of Marvel Versus capcom 3!”
Me:
“Challenge accepted motherfucker.”
Now let me stress I am not a high level Marvel3 player at all. I played the game casually, but I was able to do some extended hawkeye and vergil combos at the time and that was always impressive to the casual eye. My gaming setup is a little section in the corner where I have my xbox hooked up to the same dual monitor setup as my computer so I can switch back and forth as necessary.
So we sit down, start playing....and I mop the floor with him for a couple sets in spite of all my drops. Pretty sure I even got a perfect. Then, he spoke those fateful words:
“Yo, this fools not drunk enough yet!”
At this point I realize a crowd has kind of gathered around the little gamestation in the spirit of the old arcade when you started watching some older kid pull off ridiculous combos you didn't even know existed. One of these individuals was kind enough to fill up my goblet with wine as I continue to mop up the competition as more and more challengers steped up to face me. Time goes on, more alchohol enters my system, and I remain undefeated.
Now at this point my memory is a complete blank and I mostly have to depend on the account of other people and a video that was sadly lost later on in a pool accident, but at some point its realized that I have gone through both bottles of wine I have and there's none left.
However, as I'm playing someone refills my goblet and I down it in one gulp without a second thought. This elicits a gasp and an “oh shit” though, because as it was then explained, what had just been poured into my large goblet was straight up bourbon.
Yet, I remain undefeated. I continue kicking ass and taking names. I am unstoppable! Feeling sure of myself (I suppose, since I basically wasn't there), I then stood up out of my chair, raised my hands and shouted:
“AND THEN.......”
...and then....I completely collapsed, fell head first into my thousand plus dollar computer tower knocking it over, yanked my monitors and my xbox 360 off of the desk with them onto the floor and lay there motionless. At this point someone calls Joanie over in shock who I believe knew my desires well enough to check my computer first and ensure it was ok before turning to me to make sure that I was still breathing. Eventually a group was formed that proceeded to carry my drunk ass upstairs to bed (with me screaming and complaining the whole way mind you). Later on in the night my loving wife discovered that I had not only vomited without having the decency to go to the bathroom, I had also......relieved myself without going to the bathroom either. In the morning I was in such disastrous shape I was completely unable to go to the babyshower and she basically told me to ride in the back of my truck while her friends drove her there, and I could sleep on their couch at their home after they dropped her off.
About 12 hours later I think, I finally woke up hungrier than I'd ever been and drove slowly home to make myself some dinner and await Joanie's arrival where I'd have a little explaining to do.
Miraculously, she chose not to divorce me after this incident.
