Rickyraws
This mean you don't like me?
Original Thread:
https://www.testyourmight.com/threads/new-ra-helios-novel-in-production.63435/
Key: Any lines colored like so are actual real life events that took place.
Chapter 1: The good, the bad and the kicked router.
@Ra Helios @Indecisive @Scott The Scot @Dankster Morgan @Pig Of The Hut @coolwhip @Rathalos @EMPRESS_SunFire @Rude @Undeadjim @Crusty Clown @protools27 @KidVanDal @tatterbug4 @ShotgunInsanity
https://www.testyourmight.com/threads/new-ra-helios-novel-in-production.63435/
Key: Any lines colored like so are actual real life events that took place.
Chapter 1: The good, the bad and the kicked router.
Evening. The night is quiet. The sun has already set. It is still a bit too early for most people's bedtime, but alas it is also too late to tackle the daytime's tasks.
Xbox live. A party has been established. The participants are playing the same game. Injustice: Gods Among Us. A king of the hill mode has been made, and the players engage in some online bouts.
Party members:
Ra Helios
Peckapowa
Rickyraws
Emperor Murk
Eldriken.
Ra Helios: ......ah....damn. DAMN! WOW, haha, I just can't beat this dude!
Rickyraws:? Who?
Ra Helios: General Henry!
Eldriken: That Batman player? I've played him before.
Ra Helios: I swear he's like the best Batman!
Rickyraws:.....What?
Emperor Murk: What are you talking about?
Ra Helios: General Henry! Look, I'm getting bodied!
Rickyraws: You're getting bodied because you're dropping your combos.
Ra Helios: Yeah, because he's making me nervous! He's like my master, I just can't ever beat him!
Emperor Murk: Hold the fuck up, what are you talking about?
Rickyraws: Haven't you played Forever King?
Ra Helios: Yes.
Rickyraws: In a long set?
Ra Helios: Yes.
Rickyraws: And you're playing this guy's Batman...
Ra Helios: Mhm.
Rickyraws: And you're saying he's the best Batman you've played?
Ra Helios: Look at the screen! He's reading my every move!
Rickyraws:...........he just did b11 into whiffed sky grapple. What, is he trying to grapple the moon? Ra....what the fuck are you talking about?
Ra Helios: General Henry, son. He's like the best Batman. I'm telling you!
Eldriken: Is he being sarcastic?
Peckapowa: Incredibly, no. He's impervious to reason.
Rickyraws: Okay now you're CLEARLY doing unsafe shit to try and prove your point. AND LOOK, HE'S NOT EVEN PUNISHING IT!
Ra Helios: General Henry is the best Batman on Xbox Live. Name someone better.
Eldriken+Rickyraws+Peckapowa+Murk: Forever King.
Ra Helios: Hah, ya'll are clowning me, son.
Peckapowa: I have a headache.
The self proclaimed Catwoman of the universe continued his conversations in the Xbox Live party at the expense of the brain cells of his peers. After his session in the king of the hill ended, he decided to go get a snack. He thought to himself as he did so...
Ra Helios: <I got cereal....but no milk. Dammit. Oh well. Guess I'm going for a stroll. Damn. I wonder if General Henry drinks milk. Maybe that's why he beat me...>
Still absolutely convinced that he had just lost to the best Batman player on God's green earth, he decided to leave the house dressed like his new idol. He went into his closet and put on a black bed sheet over his head like a hood, and let the end of the sheet flow along his back like a cape.
Ra Helios: <I bet General Henry knows Bruce Wayne in real life...>
<Later...>
...the young man continued through the desolate street. Scattered pedestrians littered the area, but the young man didn't notice them. His attention was fixated on the objective in front of him. He looked up at the large sign: 'WALMART'.
Ra Helios: <I'm here.>
The stoic fellow stepped past the store's greeter and saw the soles of his tattered Vans pass through the automatic doors. To his right, a woman adorned in uniform caught the eyes of our hero. She noticed him.
Clerk: Hi! Welcome to Walmart! How may I help you?
The young man didn't look to her face. He looked at her name tag. 'Wendy.'
Ra Helios: I need milk.
Clerk: Heh, well you've come to the right place! Right to your side over there is our dairy section. Here, let me grab a gallon for you. Whole milk?
Ra Helios: Please.
The helpful clerk returned with the chilled item in hand.
Clerk: Okie dokie, here you go sir! Will you be needing a cart for the m-
Ra Helios: No. Now I'll be leaving.
Clerk: W-...huh? But your milk....
Ra Helios: I came to see if you had it. You do. Now I'll be purchasing it online.
Clerk: Oh sir unfortunately the price is the same in our online store. And there also the matter of shipping and handling costs...
Ra Helios: I don't care. I'm buying it online.
Clerk: Um I...sorry I don't quite follow. You're already here at the store sir! Hee hee, isn't it more convenient to just grab the milk from here instead of online?
The young man hissed:
Ra Helios: Never.
Clerk:...S-sir you're free to do...whatever you wish but....to....to be frank...that doesn't make much sense. Why would you spend more and wait a few more days to get something ONLINE, where you are mere inches away from the item you need OFFLINE?
Ra Helios: Because.....'Wendy'....
Clerk:.....
Ra Helio: Online is life.
Ra Helios removed his cloak and sped off towards the entrance, nearly knocking over a shopper.
Ra Helios: *huff puff* OOOOOHOOHOO!
Man: WHOOOOA! DUDE, what the hell?! Watch where you're going!
A worker with the name tag 'Craig' nearly got knocked on his back. He had boxes in his arms and so wasn't able to see Ra Helios speeding towards him. Thankfully, the would-be collision did not occur.
Ra Helios: What seems to be the problem......'Craig'?
Clerk: What seems to be- DUDE, are you listening? You almost hit me?
Ra Helios: Huh? Craig.... Listening...list...Craig...list...
Clerk: You almost hit me!
Ra Helios: Hit.....hit...
Clerk: I have all these boxes here and you nearly slammed into me!
Ra Helios:....box......box.....Craig.....list....hit....box....*gasp!* THAT'S IT!
Clerk: Huh?
Ra Helios: I'll buy a hit box off of Craigslist! Then I'll beat General Henry for sure!
Ra Helios took his time walking home. He opened up Craigslist on his phone. The area he lived in was densely populated; it wouldn't actually be very difficult to find a person selling accessories nearby.
Ra Helios: <Hit box.....mint condition.....a hundred and fifty bucks. Hm.....Dammit the bank's closed. How am I going to get the hit box now....>
He thought deeply to himself.
Ra Helios:<Okay, I can contact the seller and let him know I'm interested. Then in the morning I can head to the bank, make a withdrawal, and buy the hitbox>
It was a good plan. However, Mr. Helios' better judgement seldom ever got the better of him.
Ra Helios: *looking at nearby flyer* "Rap battles...Jefferson street....prize money......two hundred dollars...." AHAAAA! I could do THAT instead!
Ra Helios brought up google maps on his phone.
{Google maps is offline}
Ra Helios: Hisssssssss! Hissssssssss!
{Connecting.....Google maps is online}
Ra Helios: Good. Now where is this place....
Twenty two minutes later, Ra Helios made it to the location. He heard a crowd of voices.
Ra Helios: <I must be getting close. I should probably see how the outcome of this turns out before contacting the Hitbox seller. Yeah. That's the logical thing to do.>
Ra Helios:......................................
{Message}
7:56pm
Ra Helios: Hello. I would like to buy your hitbox. I can meet you tonight.
-Send.
Ra Helios: <Damn. I shouldn't have done that. Oh well. Maybe->
{Message}
7:57pm
John Winkler: Hey thats gr8. I can send you my address.
-Received
Ra Helios:<......ok. Well. Let's get this over with.>
A large group of people were crowded around in a circle. They were just regular neighbors and members of the community having fun and getting together. It didn't seem like the people rapping took the gathering too seriously, which was good for keeping a friendly atmosphere.
Man: Hey there! You wanna join us? Did you see our flyer? Well tonight's a special night so we've got prize money for the best freestyle rappers in the neighborhood! If you're even halfway decent you've got a good shot at winning!
Ra Helios: Sure.
Man: Excellent, dude! Do you need some time to warm up? We've been here pretty much all night, so it wouldn't be fair to not give you time to get your groove.
Ra Helios:<Ah, great! This should give me time to think of a topic to freestyle. After all, I didn't even know what I was going to do once I got here>
Man:.....?
Ra Helios: No I'm good. I'll start right now. I'll battle whoever.
Man: OOH, confident, I like that! Alrighty folks, who wants to hear some more battling?!
Audience: WOOOOOOO!
Ra Helios: <....why did I say that?>
Man: We've got our returning champ Corey here against.....um....
Ra Helios:<Alright Ra. Give him a fake name so that if this turns out to be embarrassing no one will know who I am>
Man:.........
Ra Helios: Ra Helios. And here is my ID in case you wanted to know the spelling.
Man: R...Rah....'Helios'....gotcha! Like the sun god, right?
Ra Helios: Yeah. I live on 326 Maple street. Here, let me take off this cloak so you can get a good look at me.
Man: Oh...okay....n..none of that was super necessary but okay. Alright folks, let's do this!
Ra Helios:<..........dammit........>
Corey: The message I stress: to make it stop study your lessons
Don’t settle for less- even a genius asks-es questions
Be grateful for blessings
Don’t ever change, keep your essence
The power is in the people and politics we address
Man: Oooooh
Corey:Refuse to be a product or brand, I’m human
Refuse to contribute to the gangster Illusion
Whether I’m number One, Number two, or Number Three
I’m unique and there will never be another me
and there never be another you
be proud of who you are, don’t copy what the others do
they are not superior, you are not inferior
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ra Helios: *gulp*
Man: WOW, that was amazing! The wordplay...the rhymes! Wow, I didn't expect the competition to get this good. Alrighty Helios, you're up.
Ra Helios:<Alright....this is it....this is my chance to shine...I'll be fine as long as I don't panic....don't panic....>
Ra Helios:.....
Man:....
Ra Helios:.....
Man:.....
Audience:...
Ra Helios:....
Audience:.....
Ra Helios: Her claws are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on her leather already, Selina's spaghetti
She's nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready
To break armor, but she keeps on forgetting
That her jump 2's unsafe, and the crowd sees her face
She activates trait, but the meow won't come out
She's chokin' how, everybody's jokin' now
The trait's run out, times up, over, BLAOW!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes her jump 3
Oh there's goes Honeybee, Iris sees all eyes on me
This Corey guy doesn't stand a prayer
From a day one phenomenal Selina Kyle player!
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ra Helios: You better lose yourself to the mix up, the moment, you want it, you better tech that throw
(throw)
You only get one bar, do not miss your chance to blow
Magic pixel comes once in a life time
You better lose yourself to the mix up, the moment, you want it, you better tech that throw
(throw)
You only get one bar, do not miss your chance to blow
Magic pixel comes once in a life time
Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Audience:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Corey:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
{Message}
8:05pm
John Winkler:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
-Received
Ra Helios:<WOW, I...I did it! Alright, be humble. Be humble>
Man: That was amazing, Helios!
Ra Helios: It's what I do, son.
Man: Here! The prize money! All yours!
Ra Helios:<Perfect! Now I have a hundred and fifty for the hitbox and fifty to spare!>
Man: Two hundred bucks! All yours!
Ra Helios: Eh, I'll just take 150. Give the 50 to Corey. He did good.
Man: And magnanimous too!
Ra Helios:<Noooooooooooo! Why did I say that? Alright. At least I can still afford the hitbox. I need to calm down and be smart with this cash.>
Man: Here you go.
Ra Helios: *Throws 10 bucks at the man* Here. Buy yourself a round on me.
Man: My man! Thanks!
Ra Helios:<NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!>
-End of chapter 1.
Xbox live. A party has been established. The participants are playing the same game. Injustice: Gods Among Us. A king of the hill mode has been made, and the players engage in some online bouts.
Party members:
Ra Helios
Peckapowa
Rickyraws
Emperor Murk
Eldriken.
Ra Helios: ......ah....damn. DAMN! WOW, haha, I just can't beat this dude!
Rickyraws:? Who?
Ra Helios: General Henry!
Eldriken: That Batman player? I've played him before.
Ra Helios: I swear he's like the best Batman!
Rickyraws:.....What?
Emperor Murk: What are you talking about?
Ra Helios: General Henry! Look, I'm getting bodied!
Rickyraws: You're getting bodied because you're dropping your combos.
Ra Helios: Yeah, because he's making me nervous! He's like my master, I just can't ever beat him!
Emperor Murk: Hold the fuck up, what are you talking about?
Rickyraws: Haven't you played Forever King?
Ra Helios: Yes.
Rickyraws: In a long set?
Ra Helios: Yes.
Rickyraws: And you're playing this guy's Batman...
Ra Helios: Mhm.
Rickyraws: And you're saying he's the best Batman you've played?
Ra Helios: Look at the screen! He's reading my every move!
Rickyraws:...........he just did b11 into whiffed sky grapple. What, is he trying to grapple the moon? Ra....what the fuck are you talking about?
Ra Helios: General Henry, son. He's like the best Batman. I'm telling you!
Eldriken: Is he being sarcastic?
Peckapowa: Incredibly, no. He's impervious to reason.
Rickyraws: Okay now you're CLEARLY doing unsafe shit to try and prove your point. AND LOOK, HE'S NOT EVEN PUNISHING IT!
Ra Helios: General Henry is the best Batman on Xbox Live. Name someone better.
Eldriken+Rickyraws+Peckapowa+Murk: Forever King.
Ra Helios: Hah, ya'll are clowning me, son.
Peckapowa: I have a headache.
The self proclaimed Catwoman of the universe continued his conversations in the Xbox Live party at the expense of the brain cells of his peers. After his session in the king of the hill ended, he decided to go get a snack. He thought to himself as he did so...
Ra Helios: <I got cereal....but no milk. Dammit. Oh well. Guess I'm going for a stroll. Damn. I wonder if General Henry drinks milk. Maybe that's why he beat me...>
Still absolutely convinced that he had just lost to the best Batman player on God's green earth, he decided to leave the house dressed like his new idol. He went into his closet and put on a black bed sheet over his head like a hood, and let the end of the sheet flow along his back like a cape.
Ra Helios: <I bet General Henry knows Bruce Wayne in real life...>
<Later...>
...the young man continued through the desolate street. Scattered pedestrians littered the area, but the young man didn't notice them. His attention was fixated on the objective in front of him. He looked up at the large sign: 'WALMART'.
Ra Helios: <I'm here.>
The stoic fellow stepped past the store's greeter and saw the soles of his tattered Vans pass through the automatic doors. To his right, a woman adorned in uniform caught the eyes of our hero. She noticed him.
Clerk: Hi! Welcome to Walmart! How may I help you?
The young man didn't look to her face. He looked at her name tag. 'Wendy.'
Ra Helios: I need milk.
Clerk: Heh, well you've come to the right place! Right to your side over there is our dairy section. Here, let me grab a gallon for you. Whole milk?
Ra Helios: Please.
The helpful clerk returned with the chilled item in hand.
Clerk: Okie dokie, here you go sir! Will you be needing a cart for the m-
Ra Helios: No. Now I'll be leaving.
Clerk: W-...huh? But your milk....
Ra Helios: I came to see if you had it. You do. Now I'll be purchasing it online.
Clerk: Oh sir unfortunately the price is the same in our online store. And there also the matter of shipping and handling costs...
Ra Helios: I don't care. I'm buying it online.
Clerk: Um I...sorry I don't quite follow. You're already here at the store sir! Hee hee, isn't it more convenient to just grab the milk from here instead of online?
The young man hissed:
Ra Helios: Never.
Clerk:...S-sir you're free to do...whatever you wish but....to....to be frank...that doesn't make much sense. Why would you spend more and wait a few more days to get something ONLINE, where you are mere inches away from the item you need OFFLINE?
Ra Helios: Because.....'Wendy'....
Clerk:.....
Ra Helio: Online is life.
Ra Helios removed his cloak and sped off towards the entrance, nearly knocking over a shopper.
Ra Helios: *huff puff* OOOOOHOOHOO!
Man: WHOOOOA! DUDE, what the hell?! Watch where you're going!
A worker with the name tag 'Craig' nearly got knocked on his back. He had boxes in his arms and so wasn't able to see Ra Helios speeding towards him. Thankfully, the would-be collision did not occur.
Ra Helios: What seems to be the problem......'Craig'?
Clerk: What seems to be- DUDE, are you listening? You almost hit me?
Ra Helios: Huh? Craig.... Listening...list...Craig...list...
Clerk: You almost hit me!
Ra Helios: Hit.....hit...
Clerk: I have all these boxes here and you nearly slammed into me!
Ra Helios:....box......box.....Craig.....list....hit....box....*gasp!* THAT'S IT!
Clerk: Huh?
Ra Helios: I'll buy a hit box off of Craigslist! Then I'll beat General Henry for sure!
Ra Helios took his time walking home. He opened up Craigslist on his phone. The area he lived in was densely populated; it wouldn't actually be very difficult to find a person selling accessories nearby.
Ra Helios: <Hit box.....mint condition.....a hundred and fifty bucks. Hm.....Dammit the bank's closed. How am I going to get the hit box now....>
He thought deeply to himself.
Ra Helios:<Okay, I can contact the seller and let him know I'm interested. Then in the morning I can head to the bank, make a withdrawal, and buy the hitbox>
It was a good plan. However, Mr. Helios' better judgement seldom ever got the better of him.
Ra Helios: *looking at nearby flyer* "Rap battles...Jefferson street....prize money......two hundred dollars...." AHAAAA! I could do THAT instead!
Ra Helios brought up google maps on his phone.
{Google maps is offline}
Ra Helios: Hisssssssss! Hissssssssss!
{Connecting.....Google maps is online}
Ra Helios: Good. Now where is this place....
Twenty two minutes later, Ra Helios made it to the location. He heard a crowd of voices.
Ra Helios: <I must be getting close. I should probably see how the outcome of this turns out before contacting the Hitbox seller. Yeah. That's the logical thing to do.>
Ra Helios:......................................
{Message}
7:56pm
Ra Helios: Hello. I would like to buy your hitbox. I can meet you tonight.
-Send.
Ra Helios: <Damn. I shouldn't have done that. Oh well. Maybe->
{Message}
7:57pm
John Winkler: Hey thats gr8. I can send you my address.
-Received
Ra Helios:<......ok. Well. Let's get this over with.>
A large group of people were crowded around in a circle. They were just regular neighbors and members of the community having fun and getting together. It didn't seem like the people rapping took the gathering too seriously, which was good for keeping a friendly atmosphere.
Man: Hey there! You wanna join us? Did you see our flyer? Well tonight's a special night so we've got prize money for the best freestyle rappers in the neighborhood! If you're even halfway decent you've got a good shot at winning!
Ra Helios: Sure.
Man: Excellent, dude! Do you need some time to warm up? We've been here pretty much all night, so it wouldn't be fair to not give you time to get your groove.
Ra Helios:<Ah, great! This should give me time to think of a topic to freestyle. After all, I didn't even know what I was going to do once I got here>
Man:.....?
Ra Helios: No I'm good. I'll start right now. I'll battle whoever.
Man: OOH, confident, I like that! Alrighty folks, who wants to hear some more battling?!
Audience: WOOOOOOO!
Ra Helios: <....why did I say that?>
Man: We've got our returning champ Corey here against.....um....
Ra Helios:<Alright Ra. Give him a fake name so that if this turns out to be embarrassing no one will know who I am>
Man:.........
Ra Helios: Ra Helios. And here is my ID in case you wanted to know the spelling.
Man: R...Rah....'Helios'....gotcha! Like the sun god, right?
Ra Helios: Yeah. I live on 326 Maple street. Here, let me take off this cloak so you can get a good look at me.
Man: Oh...okay....n..none of that was super necessary but okay. Alright folks, let's do this!
Ra Helios:<..........dammit........>
Corey: The message I stress: to make it stop study your lessons
Don’t settle for less- even a genius asks-es questions
Be grateful for blessings
Don’t ever change, keep your essence
The power is in the people and politics we address
Man: Oooooh
Corey:Refuse to be a product or brand, I’m human
Refuse to contribute to the gangster Illusion
Whether I’m number One, Number two, or Number Three
I’m unique and there will never be another me
and there never be another you
be proud of who you are, don’t copy what the others do
they are not superior, you are not inferior
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ra Helios: *gulp*
Man: WOW, that was amazing! The wordplay...the rhymes! Wow, I didn't expect the competition to get this good. Alrighty Helios, you're up.
Ra Helios:<Alright....this is it....this is my chance to shine...I'll be fine as long as I don't panic....don't panic....>
Ra Helios:.....
Man:....
Ra Helios:.....
Man:.....
Audience:...
Ra Helios:....
Audience:.....
Ra Helios: Her claws are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on her leather already, Selina's spaghetti
She's nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready
To break armor, but she keeps on forgetting
That her jump 2's unsafe, and the crowd sees her face
She activates trait, but the meow won't come out
She's chokin' how, everybody's jokin' now
The trait's run out, times up, over, BLAOW!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes her jump 3
Oh there's goes Honeybee, Iris sees all eyes on me
This Corey guy doesn't stand a prayer
From a day one phenomenal Selina Kyle player!
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ra Helios: You better lose yourself to the mix up, the moment, you want it, you better tech that throw
(throw)
You only get one bar, do not miss your chance to blow
Magic pixel comes once in a life time
You better lose yourself to the mix up, the moment, you want it, you better tech that throw
(throw)
You only get one bar, do not miss your chance to blow
Magic pixel comes once in a life time
Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Audience:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Corey:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
{Message}
8:05pm
John Winkler:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
-Received
Ra Helios:<WOW, I...I did it! Alright, be humble. Be humble>
Man: That was amazing, Helios!
Ra Helios: It's what I do, son.
Man: Here! The prize money! All yours!
Ra Helios:<Perfect! Now I have a hundred and fifty for the hitbox and fifty to spare!>
Man: Two hundred bucks! All yours!
Ra Helios: Eh, I'll just take 150. Give the 50 to Corey. He did good.
Man: And magnanimous too!
Ra Helios:<Noooooooooooo! Why did I say that? Alright. At least I can still afford the hitbox. I need to calm down and be smart with this cash.>
Man: Here you go.
Ra Helios: *Throws 10 bucks at the man* Here. Buy yourself a round on me.
Man: My man! Thanks!
Ra Helios:<NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!>
-End of chapter 1.
Chapter 2: The slip-up mix-up
Making his way downtown, walking fast, faces passed, Ra Helios was Hitbox bound.
Ra Helios:<Hi, I'm the guy for the Hitbox. Funny thing happened. I was attacked by a group of rabid hyenas and had to use ten bucks for hydrogen peroxide...nah>
He continued walking to the address on his phone.
Ra Helios:<Hello, I'm Helios. You still got the Hitbox? I misread your post and only brought 140 with me. Can I still get it from you?.....>
He approached the address and noticed a tall gate by the building. He knocked.
*thump thump thump*
A few seconds later a tall, middle-aged man appeared.
John: Heya. Here for the Hitbox?
Ra Helios: Yes, but unfortunately I have some bad news. I HAD 150 but now I only have 140. Look something happened, and then I-
John: Hey, hey, dude don't worry about it. I actually thought 150 might be slightly on the high side anyway. It's fine bro. All good.
Ra Helios: Really?
John brought his Hitbox from the side of the gate. It was in perfect condition, and shimmered in the moonlight.
John: Here it is.
Ra Helios: Looks great.
John: Yup. I don't use it at all so I decided to get rid of it.
Ra Helios:....
John: Truth be told I don't play video games much anymore. No time.
Ra Helios:....
John: Maybe some day. But not anym-
Ra Helios: *points* LOOK! It's Walter Cronkite!
John: *turns* Who-HEEEEY!!!
Ra Helios snatched the Hitbox and darted off. The seller ran after him.
Ra Helios:<Shit shit shit shiiit!!!! What are you doing?!? He was gonna give it to you!!!!>
John: You little-COME BACK!
Ra Helios:<Maybe I should stop. He seems nice, he'll be understanding...>
John: You messed with the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker!
Ra Helios:<Perhaps....perhaps I should drop the Hitbox and run...>
John: When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna take my fucking Hitbox, take your fucking cash, AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!
Ra Helios:<Alright, let's not stop!>
Ra Helios continued to run for his life, slowly increasing the distance between his pursuer and eventually losing him. He turned into an alley and hid behind the trash can.
Ra Helios: *pant pant pant* I....I...*phew*....I lost him....
*ding*
{Message}
8:59pm
John Winkler: You done fucked up bitch, this could have a real simple trade. Keep the hitbox, cause even if you give it back I'm still gonna find you. You made the biggest mistake of your life!
-Received
Ra Helios:<Now's your chance to apologize! Apologize! APOLOGIZE!>
{Message}
Ra Helios: lol you'll do fuckin nuthin bitch thnx 4 the Hitbox lmao
-Sent
Ra Helios:....shit.
He decided to head home.
Ra Helios: Might as well enjoy the Hitbox. I-*gasp!*
Ra Helios only now noticed someone walking towards him in the alleyway.
Ra Helios:!!!
???: ? Oh, sorry to spook you, I didn't mean.........!
The man's face was obscured by a dark grey hoodie. Interestingly, when he looked up to face Helios...he froze in place.
Ra Helios:....it's cool....
???:........
Ra Helios:.....
???:......
Ra Helios:...uh....do I....know you?
???:...... *flinch* n-no you d-you don't. Sorry.
The man snapped out of his trance and quickly hurried away. It was a fairly bizarre exchange.
Ra Helios: <Who the hell was THAT?>
<Some time later...>
Ra Helios: Screw you, Wonder Woman! Alright, gonna jump in.
*ka-tishhhh*
Catwoman was anti-aired by Wonder Woman's down 2.
Ra Helios: Damn that anti air. It's too good! I know what'll solve this!
He quickly plugged in and activated his Hitbox.
Ra Helios: Lets try this again. Time to jump in.
*ka-tisshhhh*
He was anti aired once again by Wonder Woman's down 2.
Ra Helios: Whaat?! How is this possible, I'm using a Hitbox! AAARGH!
Ra Helios kicked the router nestled on the table by his monitor in frustration.
{The game session is no longer available}
*ring ring*
Ra Helios: *picking up cellphone* Hello?
???:...h...hello?
Ra Helios:....Yes?
???: *quietly*W...wow this...is it...really you?
Ra Helios:?
???: Hello? Ra Helios.
Ra Helios: Who is this?
???: Look, that's not important right now. I don't have much time to explain, but you're gonna have to trust me. You don't know who I am, and...and frankly this is gonna sound so confusing and strange but it's incredibly important that-
Ra Helios: *gasp* I know who you are!
???: Wh-what?! H-how?! I...dammit I did everything right! My calculations...they...h...how...did I fail?.....oh no....
Ra Helios:....You're General Henry!
???:..............
Ra Helios:....
???:........uh....what?
Ra Helios: You're General Henry! OMG!
???:........
Ra Helios:...
???:........yes, I'm...I'm him! You...um...you figured me out...and what not.
Ra Helios: Wow! You're my idol!
???: Y-yes, I am indeed General Benry-
Ra Helios: *Henry.
???: Henry. Look, Ra, I don't have much time to explain. Grab your hands-free headset and plug it in. You're gonna need to talk and move.
Ra Helios: How did you know I had- yes yes I'll do it! *click*
Voice in headset: Hurry!
*knock knock*
Ra Helios: Oh! Someone's at the door, General Henry! WHOO ISS IT?
Door: Room service.
Ra Helios: Oooh, room service!
Voice: RA, GODDAMMIT DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!
Ra Helios: But I'm hungry.
Voice: NUMBER ONE, YOU DON'T LIVE IN A HOTEL, AND NUMBER TWO, IT'S THE GUY WHOSE HITBOX YOU STOLE!!!
Ra Helios: Whaaat?!
Voice: ESCAPE THROUGH THE WINDOW!
Ra Helios: How-
Voice: HE'S GOT A GUN!!
Ra Helios: *gasp!*
Ra Helios immediately opened his 7th floor window and climbed out. He was confused and scared but alert and compliant. The ladder-like stair case by the window was the fire escape. He could take it directly to the ground.
Voice: Make your way down, and run like hell!
Ra Helios: How do you know all this?How...how can you know what I'm even doing? Woooow, your reads must really be on point! You're predicting all this aren't you?
Voice:.................yes. NOW HURRY!
Ra Helios crawled into the bottom floor's open window.
Voice: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
Ra Helios: I'm heading downstairs like you said!
Voice: Through someone's apartment?! That's breaking-and-entering!!
Ra Helios: The light's off. They're probably not home.
Voice: THE-you...I...oh fuck....
Ra Helios tip-toed and crept through the darkness of what must have been a bedroom.
Ra Helios:<Quietly....quiieeeet...>
Woman: *waking up*Honey? Is that you? Mm, feeling frisky tonight aren't you?
Voice: Oh my God...
Ra Helios: *changing his voice* N-no honey...g..go back to sleep I'm getting a glass of milk-
Woman: Come here, you!
Ra Helios:W-whoa!!
The woman leaped off the bed and embraced Helios. She obviously couldn't see who it was in the darkness.
*THUMP*
At that moment, the bedroom door swung open. A man turned on the light.
Man: What the fuck...?!?
Woman: H-honey?! *looks at Helios* What the fuck?!?
Ra Helios: AAAAAH!
Voice: GET OUT OF THERE, HELIOS! GET OUT!!!!
Man: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?
Voice: Why couldn't you just take the fucking ladder down?!
Ra Helios: *to his headset* That would be cheating.
Man: !!!!! CHEATING?!?
Woman: Honey, wait! I don't know this man!
Voice: *praying* Oh Mary, full of grace...
Ra Helios: <Mary! Oh like Christ's mother!> *to headset* I KNOW HER!
Man: OOOH SO YOU DO, HUH?!?
Woman: Honey, no! This isn't what it looks like!
Voice: This...this is a disaster...
Ra Helios:*To headset* Yup. That's exactly what it looks like.
Man: GRRRRRRRRUH!!!!
Voice: Just go! Leave! That seller will find you if you stay!
Ra Helios:*To headset* Yeah and I'll be fucked!
Man: NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Ra Helios sprinted towards the door and ducked between the legs of the enraged man to escape. He ran full speed down six flights of stairs and kept going. He made his way through to the same alleyway where he rested prior.
Ra Helios: *pant pant pant*
Voice:*placing hand on forehead* How...how did that get so bad so fast...
Ra Helios:...I....*pant pant* I know...that one guy's trying to kill me....actually I think two people are now...
Voice: Look....just....just do what I say, and you'll be fine. I'm trying to help you after all.
Ra Helios: You've got some explaining to do. How did you even get my number, General?
Voice: That's not important-
Ra Helios: Oh, I'd say it is. Just what is going on?
Voice: I...dammit I don't have time! Everything has to be perfect and...and I can't.....look...just listen to me. I trust you. But you're gonna have to trust me. You trust me, don't you? This is bigger than you and bigger than me. And...I'm counting on you. After all, I'm your idol, General Henessey-
Ra Helios: *Henry.
Voice: Henry.
Ra Helios: Okay.....so.....what should I do next?
Voice: Put this address in your GPS.
Ra Helios:....okay...
Voice:...Have you ever experienced something on your life that gave you the sense that shit was about to get real?
Ra Helios: ?
Voice:.....well it is.
-End of Chapter 2
Making his way downtown, walking fast, faces passed, Ra Helios was Hitbox bound.
Ra Helios:<Hi, I'm the guy for the Hitbox. Funny thing happened. I was attacked by a group of rabid hyenas and had to use ten bucks for hydrogen peroxide...nah>
He continued walking to the address on his phone.
Ra Helios:<Hello, I'm Helios. You still got the Hitbox? I misread your post and only brought 140 with me. Can I still get it from you?.....>
He approached the address and noticed a tall gate by the building. He knocked.
*thump thump thump*
A few seconds later a tall, middle-aged man appeared.
John: Heya. Here for the Hitbox?
Ra Helios: Yes, but unfortunately I have some bad news. I HAD 150 but now I only have 140. Look something happened, and then I-
John: Hey, hey, dude don't worry about it. I actually thought 150 might be slightly on the high side anyway. It's fine bro. All good.
Ra Helios: Really?
John brought his Hitbox from the side of the gate. It was in perfect condition, and shimmered in the moonlight.
John: Here it is.
Ra Helios: Looks great.
John: Yup. I don't use it at all so I decided to get rid of it.
Ra Helios:....
John: Truth be told I don't play video games much anymore. No time.
Ra Helios:....
John: Maybe some day. But not anym-
Ra Helios: *points* LOOK! It's Walter Cronkite!
John: *turns* Who-HEEEEY!!!
Ra Helios snatched the Hitbox and darted off. The seller ran after him.
Ra Helios:<Shit shit shit shiiit!!!! What are you doing?!? He was gonna give it to you!!!!>
John: You little-COME BACK!
Ra Helios:<Maybe I should stop. He seems nice, he'll be understanding...>
John: You messed with the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker!
Ra Helios:<Perhaps....perhaps I should drop the Hitbox and run...>
John: When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna take my fucking Hitbox, take your fucking cash, AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!
Ra Helios:<Alright, let's not stop!>
Ra Helios continued to run for his life, slowly increasing the distance between his pursuer and eventually losing him. He turned into an alley and hid behind the trash can.
Ra Helios: *pant pant pant* I....I...*phew*....I lost him....
*ding*
{Message}
8:59pm
John Winkler: You done fucked up bitch, this could have a real simple trade. Keep the hitbox, cause even if you give it back I'm still gonna find you. You made the biggest mistake of your life!
-Received
Ra Helios:<Now's your chance to apologize! Apologize! APOLOGIZE!>
{Message}
Ra Helios: lol you'll do fuckin nuthin bitch thnx 4 the Hitbox lmao
-Sent
Ra Helios:....shit.
He decided to head home.
Ra Helios: Might as well enjoy the Hitbox. I-*gasp!*
Ra Helios only now noticed someone walking towards him in the alleyway.
Ra Helios:!!!
???: ? Oh, sorry to spook you, I didn't mean.........!
The man's face was obscured by a dark grey hoodie. Interestingly, when he looked up to face Helios...he froze in place.
Ra Helios:....it's cool....
???:........
Ra Helios:.....
???:......
Ra Helios:...uh....do I....know you?
???:...... *flinch* n-no you d-you don't. Sorry.
The man snapped out of his trance and quickly hurried away. It was a fairly bizarre exchange.
Ra Helios: <Who the hell was THAT?>
<Some time later...>
Ra Helios: Screw you, Wonder Woman! Alright, gonna jump in.
*ka-tishhhh*
Catwoman was anti-aired by Wonder Woman's down 2.
Ra Helios: Damn that anti air. It's too good! I know what'll solve this!
He quickly plugged in and activated his Hitbox.
Ra Helios: Lets try this again. Time to jump in.
*ka-tisshhhh*
He was anti aired once again by Wonder Woman's down 2.
Ra Helios: Whaat?! How is this possible, I'm using a Hitbox! AAARGH!
Ra Helios kicked the router nestled on the table by his monitor in frustration.
{The game session is no longer available}
*ring ring*
Ra Helios: *picking up cellphone* Hello?
???:...h...hello?
Ra Helios:....Yes?
???: *quietly*W...wow this...is it...really you?
Ra Helios:?
???: Hello? Ra Helios.
Ra Helios: Who is this?
???: Look, that's not important right now. I don't have much time to explain, but you're gonna have to trust me. You don't know who I am, and...and frankly this is gonna sound so confusing and strange but it's incredibly important that-
Ra Helios: *gasp* I know who you are!
???: Wh-what?! H-how?! I...dammit I did everything right! My calculations...they...h...how...did I fail?.....oh no....
Ra Helios:....You're General Henry!
???:..............
Ra Helios:....
???:........uh....what?
Ra Helios: You're General Henry! OMG!
???:........
Ra Helios:...
???:........yes, I'm...I'm him! You...um...you figured me out...and what not.
Ra Helios: Wow! You're my idol!
???: Y-yes, I am indeed General Benry-
Ra Helios: *Henry.
???: Henry. Look, Ra, I don't have much time to explain. Grab your hands-free headset and plug it in. You're gonna need to talk and move.
Ra Helios: How did you know I had- yes yes I'll do it! *click*
Voice in headset: Hurry!
*knock knock*
Ra Helios: Oh! Someone's at the door, General Henry! WHOO ISS IT?
Door: Room service.
Ra Helios: Oooh, room service!
Voice: RA, GODDAMMIT DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!
Ra Helios: But I'm hungry.
Voice: NUMBER ONE, YOU DON'T LIVE IN A HOTEL, AND NUMBER TWO, IT'S THE GUY WHOSE HITBOX YOU STOLE!!!
Ra Helios: Whaaat?!
Voice: ESCAPE THROUGH THE WINDOW!
Ra Helios: How-
Voice: HE'S GOT A GUN!!
Ra Helios: *gasp!*
Ra Helios immediately opened his 7th floor window and climbed out. He was confused and scared but alert and compliant. The ladder-like stair case by the window was the fire escape. He could take it directly to the ground.
Voice: Make your way down, and run like hell!
Ra Helios: How do you know all this?How...how can you know what I'm even doing? Woooow, your reads must really be on point! You're predicting all this aren't you?
Voice:.................yes. NOW HURRY!
Ra Helios crawled into the bottom floor's open window.
Voice: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
Ra Helios: I'm heading downstairs like you said!
Voice: Through someone's apartment?! That's breaking-and-entering!!
Ra Helios: The light's off. They're probably not home.
Voice: THE-you...I...oh fuck....
Ra Helios tip-toed and crept through the darkness of what must have been a bedroom.
Ra Helios:<Quietly....quiieeeet...>
Woman: *waking up*Honey? Is that you? Mm, feeling frisky tonight aren't you?
Voice: Oh my God...
Ra Helios: *changing his voice* N-no honey...g..go back to sleep I'm getting a glass of milk-
Woman: Come here, you!
Ra Helios:W-whoa!!
The woman leaped off the bed and embraced Helios. She obviously couldn't see who it was in the darkness.
*THUMP*
At that moment, the bedroom door swung open. A man turned on the light.
Man: What the fuck...?!?
Woman: H-honey?! *looks at Helios* What the fuck?!?
Ra Helios: AAAAAH!
Voice: GET OUT OF THERE, HELIOS! GET OUT!!!!
Man: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?
Voice: Why couldn't you just take the fucking ladder down?!
Ra Helios: *to his headset* That would be cheating.
Man: !!!!! CHEATING?!?
Woman: Honey, wait! I don't know this man!
Voice: *praying* Oh Mary, full of grace...
Ra Helios: <Mary! Oh like Christ's mother!> *to headset* I KNOW HER!
Man: OOOH SO YOU DO, HUH?!?
Woman: Honey, no! This isn't what it looks like!
Voice: This...this is a disaster...
Ra Helios:*To headset* Yup. That's exactly what it looks like.
Man: GRRRRRRRRUH!!!!
Voice: Just go! Leave! That seller will find you if you stay!
Ra Helios:*To headset* Yeah and I'll be fucked!
Man: NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Ra Helios sprinted towards the door and ducked between the legs of the enraged man to escape. He ran full speed down six flights of stairs and kept going. He made his way through to the same alleyway where he rested prior.
Ra Helios: *pant pant pant*
Voice:*placing hand on forehead* How...how did that get so bad so fast...
Ra Helios:...I....*pant pant* I know...that one guy's trying to kill me....actually I think two people are now...
Voice: Look....just....just do what I say, and you'll be fine. I'm trying to help you after all.
Ra Helios: You've got some explaining to do. How did you even get my number, General?
Voice: That's not important-
Ra Helios: Oh, I'd say it is. Just what is going on?
Voice: I...dammit I don't have time! Everything has to be perfect and...and I can't.....look...just listen to me. I trust you. But you're gonna have to trust me. You trust me, don't you? This is bigger than you and bigger than me. And...I'm counting on you. After all, I'm your idol, General Henessey-
Ra Helios: *Henry.
Voice: Henry.
Ra Helios: Okay.....so.....what should I do next?
Voice: Put this address in your GPS.
Ra Helios:....okay...
Voice:...Have you ever experienced something on your life that gave you the sense that shit was about to get real?
Ra Helios: ?
Voice:.....well it is.
-End of Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Deja Vicious
Ra Helios:......
Voice: ....? So? Did you get all that?
Ra Helios: Not really.
Voice: *sigh* I guess I can't expect you to just...take this all in.
Ra Helios: How do you know all this stuff again? How are you able to see where I am and what I'm doing?
Voice:...I....I don't have much time to explain this in a way that you'll understand....let's see....
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Have you seen the movie 'Eagle Eye?' It's kind of like that...
Ra Helios: No.
Voice:....have you seen 'Phone Booth?' With Colin Farrell?
Ra Helios: Nope.
Voice:.....
Ra Helios:......
Voice: Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau' with Matt Damon?
Ra Helios: I haven't even seen it by myself, let alone with Matt Damon.
Voice:....
Ra Helios: Wait....is Nicholas Cage in that movie? I think I know it!
Voice: No. It's Matt Damon.
Ra Helios: Matt Damon and Nicholas Cage?
Voice: No, Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
Ra Helios: And Nicholas Cage?
Voice: No, no, just them! Nicholas Cage isn't in the movie!
Ra Helios: Just them? Two actors in the whole movie? Sounds boring. Unless....is it a sex movie? Then two actors would make sense.
Voice: No, there's other people in the movie. And it's not a 'sex movie'.
Ra Helios: So it's NOT just the two of them.
Voice: No.
Ra Helios: Even though you said it was just them...
Voice: I said that in terms of it's just them and not Nicholas Cage! He's not in the movie.
Ra Helios: Who else is in the movie?
Voice: Forget it, if you haven't seen the movie, you won't-LOOK! Pretend I'm a government agent with resources that give me the ability to see what you're doing, and the foresight to know what you SHOULD be doing to avoid a catastrophe. I'm like....a contingency plan for something that's going to happen. And I need you to follow my instructions to make sure everything turns out alright.
Ra Helios:........ARE you a government agent?
Voice: No.
Ra Helios: So......so what you're telling me is that....
Voice:......
Ra Helios: Nicholas Cage is NOT in the movie?
Voice: Jesus Christ....
???: Howdy neighbor.
Ra Helios: !
A man with his hands in his pockets was strolling by. He had a baseball cap, a light sweater, and a douche bag smile.
Voice:.....Who is that?
Ra Helios: Oh, hey Bruce. *to headset* It's just Bruce.
Voice: Who's that?
Ra Helios: Bruce.
Voice: Oh okay thanks I now know exactly who the fuck that is.
Bruce: Talking to yourself again?
Ra Helios: Nope. Not this time. What do you want, I'm busy.
Bruce: There's a guy going around asking about you. He's asking if anyone's seen you. He looks pissed.
Voice:...
Ra Helios: Dammit. He was just at my apartment. I know who you're talking about.
Bruce: Yeah, he um...he said he had some cash for the person who'd be able to give you up. You must have done something to really grind his gears.
Ra Helios: Don't worry about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I was on the phone-
Bruce: Ya know.....I told him I might have seen you walking down the alley...
Ra Helios: WHAT?!
Bruce: Or...what I meant to say is...I could TELL him that I saw you walking down the alley. Or that I saw you by the park. Or by the pond. I don't know, my memory's kind of hazy-
Ra Helios: Listen, that guy is dangerous! This isn't a game! You can't tell him you saw me.
Bruce: That sounds like big responsibility. A responsibility I would gladly follow through with for a hundred bucks.
Ra Helios: A hundred bucks?! We're neighbors!
Bruce: We're building acquaintances at best. Besides, the angry dude was offering two hundred. If we really are neighbors, it's like I'm giving you the Statefarm discount.
Ra Helios: You've got some nerve-
Voice: Pay him.
Ra Helios: WHAT?! NEVER! OVER MY DEAD B-
Voice: Remember what I said. I know what you should do to avoid certain outcomes. I calculate that if the Hitbox seller knows your whereabouts, your chances of survival are less than 49%.
Ra Helios: I AM NOT PAYING THIS SCUMBAG A CENT OF MY HARD EARNED MON-
Voice: It's the seller's money anyway! You got the Hitbox, Remember?! Why'd you go and do that anyway?
Ra Helios:......
Voice: ......
Ra Helios: I figured....why spend 140 for a Hitbox when I can get a Hitbox and keep 140...
Voice: Yeah. Well pay this Bruce the money to mislead the seller. Trust me, it's for the better. You can get more money later.
Ra Helios: How?!
Voice: Have you seen the movie 'Limitless' with Bradley Cooper?
Ra Helios: FIIIINE FIIINE!!
Bruce:....you uh...you done talking to yourself?
Ra Helios: I told you I'm on the phone. Here. I'll give you a hundred bucks to tell the guy you saw me someplace far away. I can't believe you would heartlessly do this to your fellow neighbor. Robbing me of my possession for personal gain because you saw the opportunity.
....said Ra Helios, who had recently robbed a man of his possession for personal gain because he saw the opportunity.
Bruce: *shrugs**counts the money* Sweet. I just remembered I saw you by the train station. Peace.
The smug con man continued walking in the opposite direction.
Voice: Thank you. Keep in mind, I have your best interests at heart.
Ra Helios: Whatever you say, General Henry. I figure a person with a Batman as good as yours wouldn't have got it that way by lying.
Voice:.........what?
Ra Helios: Huh?
Voice:What does one thing have to do with the other?
Ra Helios: I-
Voice: And stop calling me General Henry, it's not my...it's....it...you...um... It's...um....you're giving away my name when you should be using...er...a codename.
Ra Helios: So what should I call you, General Henry?
Voice:......
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Call me...
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Call me 'V.'
<Later...>
Save for the moon and street lights, few things illuminated the darkening night. More and more buildings in the vicinity were shutting off their lights as the strange night continued. Who was this 'V' character? What is this important mission he claimed to be undertaking? Why was he monitoring Ra Helios? And why Ra Helios of all people?
Ra Helios: Well thanks V, you cost me a hundred bucks.
V: Not getting killed is more important. Besides, you'll get more money soon. It's necessary for what you have to do next.
Ra Helios: I don't get it, the guy didn't care too much for the Hitbox anyway. Is this really worth killing an innocent man?
V: What exactly did you say to him after you stole his Hitbox? I know he communicated with you via text?
Ra Helios: I just texted him that.......oh....right.
V:.....whatever it is I'm sure you've only got yourself to blam-
Ra Helios: You see! That! Right there, how did you even know we communicated via text? Do you work for the NSA?
V:...tell you what; when this is all over, and if you're still alive, I'll tell you everything.
Ra Helios: Sounds good.
V: Walk into that convenience store.
Ra Helios: Why?
V:*sigh* Just do it, please?
Ra Helios entered a nearby mini mart. He was the only customer.
Clerk: Welcome.
Ra Helios: Sup.
V: You see that ten dollar scratch-off lottery ticket? The third one from the left? Buy that.
Ra Helios: I thought you said you were gonna help me MAKE money, not spend it!
Clerk: What?
Ra Helios: I'll take that ticket please.
The clerk handed the ticket to Ra Helios.
V: Scratch it and give it back to the man.
Ra Helios: Whatever you say, V. I mean, I might as well-OH SHIT! I won five hundred bucks!
Clerk: Congrats.
V: Cash the ticket, take the money and leave the store.
Ra Helios: Holy shit, I think I HAVE seen this movie!
V: What?
Clerk: What?
Ra Helios: 'Limitless' you said, right? With Bradley Cooper? He took some kind of genius drug and manipulated the stock market for money? You can manipulate and predict the lottery, can't you?!
V: No!
Clerk: Hey buddy, how bout you take your money and leave, huh? You're starting to creep me out.
Ra Helios: *takes money* WHOOHOO this is great!
V: Don't get too excited, you'll need most of it for something.
Ra Helios: Aw man! What's the point of having super powers if you're not gonna use it to live a little?
V: I don't have super powers, and I don't have time! Just leave the goddamn store already!
Ra Helios: Alright, alright! Geeez!
V: Look, you're a few blocks away from the address I gave you. Hurry up.
Ra Helios: Yeah yeah yeah.
After moping for a few minutes along the sidewalk, Ra Helios approached a dead end. To the right was a large building. An arcade. To the left was a seemingly abandoned building. There was a suspicious looking door.
V: Alright, that arcade over there has local, offline fighting game tournamen-
Ra Helios: Hissssssss! Hissssssss!
V: Hey, calm down! You don't have to attend the offline tournament! You have to take a left here. Just making sure you've got the directions right.
Ra Helios: Good. *spits*
V: Knock on that door seven times.
Ra Helios:......seven?
V: Seven.
Ra Helios:....
Ra Helios walked towards the door.
*Thump thump thump thump. Thump thump thump.*
V:.......
Ra Helios:........
*creeeeeeak*
Ra Helios: !!!!
V:........
A large, mammoth of a man opened the door. He was towering over Helios, with arms the size of tree stumps and a beard that made him look like Hagrid from Harry Potter.
Bouncer: *nods* God kväll.
Ra Helios:......
There was a staircase behind the man. He moved to the side and motioned for Ra Helios to walk down. The muffled sound of loud music could be heard originating from the staircase's base. It seemed like an underground nightclub of sorts.
V: Be cool.
Ra Helios: *whispering* Wh-what is this place? I....I don't like this...
V: You'll be fine if you keep your head down, and look like you belong.
Ra Helios:....
V: Don't stand out. Act inconspicuous
Ra Helios:......
V: You DO know what inconspicuous means, right?
Ra Helios: I'm following your orders without question and you repay me by insulting my intelligence?
V: I.....sorry, I didn't......I'm just stressed, I didn't mean anything by it.
Ra Helios walked down the stairs slowly as the bouncer watched on.
Bouncer:*quietly* Ha så kul.
As expected, the sound grew to a cacophonous uproar once Ra Helios made his way through. Hundreds of well-dressed individuals were dancing and partying under the neon lights. The music was loud, and the smell of alcohol was overbearing. Scattered around were stoic men dressed in suits. They were armed.
Ra Helios: Alright so what is this, some kind of disco?
V: It's a nightclub, yes. The people who own it are dangerous. Very. I need you to head through and look for a woman named Elsa. She typically hangs out by the end of the bar.
Ra Helios: How will I know what she looks like?
V: She's the one everyone will be too afraid to look in the eye. She's usually the person there with the most body guards. And she's loud. And crazy.
Ra Helios:......wait, why do I have to do this again?
V: You have to convince her to bet on something.
Ra Helios: What?
V: There's an illegal fight club in the basement. She's the sister of the club's owner, Erik. She loves to gamble. But hates to lose. She'll be betting in the fight club tonight.
Ra Helios: Whoa whoa whoa, what the fuck have you gotten me into?! Fight clubs?! Body guards?! SOME OF-*whispers* some of these people have GUNS!
V: I'm aware. I'm sorry but there's no other way.
Ra Helios: So what, you're gonna have her bet on someone so that she can win a lot of money and split it or something? You know who's going to win? Like with the lottery ticket?
V:.....
Ra Helios:.....
V: I do know who's going to win. But uh.....
Ra Helios:...
V:......
Ra Helios:....
V: Actually you're uh....you're going to have to convince her to bet on the guy that's going to lose.
Ra Helios: WHAT?!
V: However you do it, it's imperative that you-
Ra Helios: Wait you said she hates to lose! And that she's crazy! Won't they skin me alive or something if I do that?
V: Look.
Ra Helios:....
V: This mission is very dangerous. Yes. This place is very dangerous. Yes. Even speaking to Elsa can be lethal depending on how much she's had to drink. But I ASSURE you, as long as you follow my instructions...
Ra Helios:....
V: You'll be fine.
Ra Helios: Okay. *phew* okay. I'm...God I'm shaking like crazy. This is nuts. But you know what? I've done harder things! I've proved to TYM that Catwoman beats Bane through irrefutable evidence and the set videos I uploaded to my YouTube channel. I can do this!
V: ..........................Great. Now, if you say the wrong thing to Elsa, she'll have to killed on the spot. But I just so happen to know what'll convince her to agree with your proposal to bet on the losing guy- the guy who goes by 'Skull Krusher'. With a 'K'.
Ra Helios: Okay.
V: Now you've only got like a ten minute window to convince her because the fight is about to begin.
Ra Helios: Okay.
V: Walk up to her and repeat EXACTLY what I say.
Ra Helios: Okay okay, I got this!
Ra Helios walked towards the bar.
Bartender: *nods* Hallå. How's it going, bror?
V: "It would be going good if I had a stiff drink."
Ra Helios: "It would be going good if I had a stiff drink."
Bartender: Oh?
V: "Yeah. Something 'Den Madame' would have."
Ra Helios: Yeah. Something 'Den Madame' would have.
Bartender: Ah, Elsa. She's....*looks around* ah there she is! She's having...she's actually just having a martini on the rocks.
Ra Helios instinctively looked in the direction the bartender looked when locating Elsa. He now knew where she was.
V: Good job.
Ra Helios: Nah oh second thoughts I'm not too thirsty. See you around.
Ra Helios left the bar and headed towards the crowd of bodyguards.
V: See? Just repeat what I say and you'll be fine.
Ra Helios: *whispering* OOOOH that was siick! I'm like James Bond!
V: No.
Ra Helios: Okay, that's her right? The woman in the teal dress?
V: Yes. Now hurry towards her. No sudden movements by the body guards. I'll tell you what to say to get her attention.
Ra Helios: Okay.
Ra Helios made his way to the entourage of large men who looked like they wanted nothing more than an excuse to beat someone up as they wore their dark suits and sunglasses.
Bodyguard:*sees Ra Helios* Säg ditt företag.
Ra Helios:.....!!!!
Bodyguard: *in English* State your business.
V: "I've come to see 'Den Madame.'"
Ra Helios: I've come to see 'Den Madame.'
Bodyguard: *reaches for gun*
Ra Helios:!!!!!
???: That's enough, Albin.
Bodyguard:......*lowers his hand*
Elsa: Whom exactly wishes to see The Madame tonight?
V: "Not a foe, but a friend."
Ra Helios:.....
V:...."No a foe, but a friend."
Ra Helios:.....
V: Ra?....Ra?!
{Headset battery}
<Dead>
V: RA?!?! RAAAAAA?!?
Ra Helios: *shaking* <Oh my God>
A tall, blonde woman stepped up from her seat. She was thin with dark eyebrows and bluish-green eyes that gazed into the soul. She had blood-red lipstick and a menacing smirk. Her nails were sharp and likewise crimson. She hated being disturbed.
Elsa:....... Well? Who are you?
Ra Helios:.....I......I......um........
Elsa:.....
Bodyguards:....
V: *inaudible*........oh no....
-End of Chapter 3
Ra Helios:......
Voice: ....? So? Did you get all that?
Ra Helios: Not really.
Voice: *sigh* I guess I can't expect you to just...take this all in.
Ra Helios: How do you know all this stuff again? How are you able to see where I am and what I'm doing?
Voice:...I....I don't have much time to explain this in a way that you'll understand....let's see....
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Have you seen the movie 'Eagle Eye?' It's kind of like that...
Ra Helios: No.
Voice:....have you seen 'Phone Booth?' With Colin Farrell?
Ra Helios: Nope.
Voice:.....
Ra Helios:......
Voice: Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau' with Matt Damon?
Ra Helios: I haven't even seen it by myself, let alone with Matt Damon.
Voice:....
Ra Helios: Wait....is Nicholas Cage in that movie? I think I know it!
Voice: No. It's Matt Damon.
Ra Helios: Matt Damon and Nicholas Cage?
Voice: No, Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
Ra Helios: And Nicholas Cage?
Voice: No, no, just them! Nicholas Cage isn't in the movie!
Ra Helios: Just them? Two actors in the whole movie? Sounds boring. Unless....is it a sex movie? Then two actors would make sense.
Voice: No, there's other people in the movie. And it's not a 'sex movie'.
Ra Helios: So it's NOT just the two of them.
Voice: No.
Ra Helios: Even though you said it was just them...
Voice: I said that in terms of it's just them and not Nicholas Cage! He's not in the movie.
Ra Helios: Who else is in the movie?
Voice: Forget it, if you haven't seen the movie, you won't-LOOK! Pretend I'm a government agent with resources that give me the ability to see what you're doing, and the foresight to know what you SHOULD be doing to avoid a catastrophe. I'm like....a contingency plan for something that's going to happen. And I need you to follow my instructions to make sure everything turns out alright.
Ra Helios:........ARE you a government agent?
Voice: No.
Ra Helios: So......so what you're telling me is that....
Voice:......
Ra Helios: Nicholas Cage is NOT in the movie?
Voice: Jesus Christ....
???: Howdy neighbor.
Ra Helios: !
A man with his hands in his pockets was strolling by. He had a baseball cap, a light sweater, and a douche bag smile.
Voice:.....Who is that?
Ra Helios: Oh, hey Bruce. *to headset* It's just Bruce.
Voice: Who's that?
Ra Helios: Bruce.
Voice: Oh okay thanks I now know exactly who the fuck that is.
Bruce: Talking to yourself again?
Ra Helios: Nope. Not this time. What do you want, I'm busy.
Bruce: There's a guy going around asking about you. He's asking if anyone's seen you. He looks pissed.
Voice:...
Ra Helios: Dammit. He was just at my apartment. I know who you're talking about.
Bruce: Yeah, he um...he said he had some cash for the person who'd be able to give you up. You must have done something to really grind his gears.
Ra Helios: Don't worry about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I was on the phone-
Bruce: Ya know.....I told him I might have seen you walking down the alley...
Ra Helios: WHAT?!
Bruce: Or...what I meant to say is...I could TELL him that I saw you walking down the alley. Or that I saw you by the park. Or by the pond. I don't know, my memory's kind of hazy-
Ra Helios: Listen, that guy is dangerous! This isn't a game! You can't tell him you saw me.
Bruce: That sounds like big responsibility. A responsibility I would gladly follow through with for a hundred bucks.
Ra Helios: A hundred bucks?! We're neighbors!
Bruce: We're building acquaintances at best. Besides, the angry dude was offering two hundred. If we really are neighbors, it's like I'm giving you the Statefarm discount.
Ra Helios: You've got some nerve-
Voice: Pay him.
Ra Helios: WHAT?! NEVER! OVER MY DEAD B-
Voice: Remember what I said. I know what you should do to avoid certain outcomes. I calculate that if the Hitbox seller knows your whereabouts, your chances of survival are less than 49%.
Ra Helios: I AM NOT PAYING THIS SCUMBAG A CENT OF MY HARD EARNED MON-
Voice: It's the seller's money anyway! You got the Hitbox, Remember?! Why'd you go and do that anyway?
Ra Helios:......
Voice: ......
Ra Helios: I figured....why spend 140 for a Hitbox when I can get a Hitbox and keep 140...
Voice: Yeah. Well pay this Bruce the money to mislead the seller. Trust me, it's for the better. You can get more money later.
Ra Helios: How?!
Voice: Have you seen the movie 'Limitless' with Bradley Cooper?
Ra Helios: FIIIINE FIIINE!!
Bruce:....you uh...you done talking to yourself?
Ra Helios: I told you I'm on the phone. Here. I'll give you a hundred bucks to tell the guy you saw me someplace far away. I can't believe you would heartlessly do this to your fellow neighbor. Robbing me of my possession for personal gain because you saw the opportunity.
....said Ra Helios, who had recently robbed a man of his possession for personal gain because he saw the opportunity.
Bruce: *shrugs**counts the money* Sweet. I just remembered I saw you by the train station. Peace.
The smug con man continued walking in the opposite direction.
Voice: Thank you. Keep in mind, I have your best interests at heart.
Ra Helios: Whatever you say, General Henry. I figure a person with a Batman as good as yours wouldn't have got it that way by lying.
Voice:.........what?
Ra Helios: Huh?
Voice:What does one thing have to do with the other?
Ra Helios: I-
Voice: And stop calling me General Henry, it's not my...it's....it...you...um... It's...um....you're giving away my name when you should be using...er...a codename.
Ra Helios: So what should I call you, General Henry?
Voice:......
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Call me...
Ra Helios:....
Voice: Call me 'V.'
<Later...>
Save for the moon and street lights, few things illuminated the darkening night. More and more buildings in the vicinity were shutting off their lights as the strange night continued. Who was this 'V' character? What is this important mission he claimed to be undertaking? Why was he monitoring Ra Helios? And why Ra Helios of all people?
Ra Helios: Well thanks V, you cost me a hundred bucks.
V: Not getting killed is more important. Besides, you'll get more money soon. It's necessary for what you have to do next.
Ra Helios: I don't get it, the guy didn't care too much for the Hitbox anyway. Is this really worth killing an innocent man?
V: What exactly did you say to him after you stole his Hitbox? I know he communicated with you via text?
Ra Helios: I just texted him that.......oh....right.
V:.....whatever it is I'm sure you've only got yourself to blam-
Ra Helios: You see! That! Right there, how did you even know we communicated via text? Do you work for the NSA?
V:...tell you what; when this is all over, and if you're still alive, I'll tell you everything.
Ra Helios: Sounds good.
V: Walk into that convenience store.
Ra Helios: Why?
V:*sigh* Just do it, please?
Ra Helios entered a nearby mini mart. He was the only customer.
Clerk: Welcome.
Ra Helios: Sup.
V: You see that ten dollar scratch-off lottery ticket? The third one from the left? Buy that.
Ra Helios: I thought you said you were gonna help me MAKE money, not spend it!
Clerk: What?
Ra Helios: I'll take that ticket please.
The clerk handed the ticket to Ra Helios.
V: Scratch it and give it back to the man.
Ra Helios: Whatever you say, V. I mean, I might as well-OH SHIT! I won five hundred bucks!
Clerk: Congrats.
V: Cash the ticket, take the money and leave the store.
Ra Helios: Holy shit, I think I HAVE seen this movie!
V: What?
Clerk: What?
Ra Helios: 'Limitless' you said, right? With Bradley Cooper? He took some kind of genius drug and manipulated the stock market for money? You can manipulate and predict the lottery, can't you?!
V: No!
Clerk: Hey buddy, how bout you take your money and leave, huh? You're starting to creep me out.
Ra Helios: *takes money* WHOOHOO this is great!
V: Don't get too excited, you'll need most of it for something.
Ra Helios: Aw man! What's the point of having super powers if you're not gonna use it to live a little?
V: I don't have super powers, and I don't have time! Just leave the goddamn store already!
Ra Helios: Alright, alright! Geeez!
V: Look, you're a few blocks away from the address I gave you. Hurry up.
Ra Helios: Yeah yeah yeah.
After moping for a few minutes along the sidewalk, Ra Helios approached a dead end. To the right was a large building. An arcade. To the left was a seemingly abandoned building. There was a suspicious looking door.
V: Alright, that arcade over there has local, offline fighting game tournamen-
Ra Helios: Hissssssss! Hissssssss!
V: Hey, calm down! You don't have to attend the offline tournament! You have to take a left here. Just making sure you've got the directions right.
Ra Helios: Good. *spits*
V: Knock on that door seven times.
Ra Helios:......seven?
V: Seven.
Ra Helios:....
Ra Helios walked towards the door.
*Thump thump thump thump. Thump thump thump.*
V:.......
Ra Helios:........
*creeeeeeak*
Ra Helios: !!!!
V:........
A large, mammoth of a man opened the door. He was towering over Helios, with arms the size of tree stumps and a beard that made him look like Hagrid from Harry Potter.
Bouncer: *nods* God kväll.
Ra Helios:......
There was a staircase behind the man. He moved to the side and motioned for Ra Helios to walk down. The muffled sound of loud music could be heard originating from the staircase's base. It seemed like an underground nightclub of sorts.
V: Be cool.
Ra Helios: *whispering* Wh-what is this place? I....I don't like this...
V: You'll be fine if you keep your head down, and look like you belong.
Ra Helios:....
V: Don't stand out. Act inconspicuous
Ra Helios:......
V: You DO know what inconspicuous means, right?
Ra Helios: I'm following your orders without question and you repay me by insulting my intelligence?
V: I.....sorry, I didn't......I'm just stressed, I didn't mean anything by it.
Ra Helios walked down the stairs slowly as the bouncer watched on.
Bouncer:*quietly* Ha så kul.
As expected, the sound grew to a cacophonous uproar once Ra Helios made his way through. Hundreds of well-dressed individuals were dancing and partying under the neon lights. The music was loud, and the smell of alcohol was overbearing. Scattered around were stoic men dressed in suits. They were armed.
Ra Helios: Alright so what is this, some kind of disco?
V: It's a nightclub, yes. The people who own it are dangerous. Very. I need you to head through and look for a woman named Elsa. She typically hangs out by the end of the bar.
Ra Helios: How will I know what she looks like?
V: She's the one everyone will be too afraid to look in the eye. She's usually the person there with the most body guards. And she's loud. And crazy.
Ra Helios:......wait, why do I have to do this again?
V: You have to convince her to bet on something.
Ra Helios: What?
V: There's an illegal fight club in the basement. She's the sister of the club's owner, Erik. She loves to gamble. But hates to lose. She'll be betting in the fight club tonight.
Ra Helios: Whoa whoa whoa, what the fuck have you gotten me into?! Fight clubs?! Body guards?! SOME OF-*whispers* some of these people have GUNS!
V: I'm aware. I'm sorry but there's no other way.
Ra Helios: So what, you're gonna have her bet on someone so that she can win a lot of money and split it or something? You know who's going to win? Like with the lottery ticket?
V:.....
Ra Helios:.....
V: I do know who's going to win. But uh.....
Ra Helios:...
V:......
Ra Helios:....
V: Actually you're uh....you're going to have to convince her to bet on the guy that's going to lose.
Ra Helios: WHAT?!
V: However you do it, it's imperative that you-
Ra Helios: Wait you said she hates to lose! And that she's crazy! Won't they skin me alive or something if I do that?
V: Look.
Ra Helios:....
V: This mission is very dangerous. Yes. This place is very dangerous. Yes. Even speaking to Elsa can be lethal depending on how much she's had to drink. But I ASSURE you, as long as you follow my instructions...
Ra Helios:....
V: You'll be fine.
Ra Helios: Okay. *phew* okay. I'm...God I'm shaking like crazy. This is nuts. But you know what? I've done harder things! I've proved to TYM that Catwoman beats Bane through irrefutable evidence and the set videos I uploaded to my YouTube channel. I can do this!
V: ..........................Great. Now, if you say the wrong thing to Elsa, she'll have to killed on the spot. But I just so happen to know what'll convince her to agree with your proposal to bet on the losing guy- the guy who goes by 'Skull Krusher'. With a 'K'.
Ra Helios: Okay.
V: Now you've only got like a ten minute window to convince her because the fight is about to begin.
Ra Helios: Okay.
V: Walk up to her and repeat EXACTLY what I say.
Ra Helios: Okay okay, I got this!
Ra Helios walked towards the bar.
Bartender: *nods* Hallå. How's it going, bror?
V: "It would be going good if I had a stiff drink."
Ra Helios: "It would be going good if I had a stiff drink."
Bartender: Oh?
V: "Yeah. Something 'Den Madame' would have."
Ra Helios: Yeah. Something 'Den Madame' would have.
Bartender: Ah, Elsa. She's....*looks around* ah there she is! She's having...she's actually just having a martini on the rocks.
Ra Helios instinctively looked in the direction the bartender looked when locating Elsa. He now knew where she was.
V: Good job.
Ra Helios: Nah oh second thoughts I'm not too thirsty. See you around.
Ra Helios left the bar and headed towards the crowd of bodyguards.
V: See? Just repeat what I say and you'll be fine.
Ra Helios: *whispering* OOOOH that was siick! I'm like James Bond!
V: No.
Ra Helios: Okay, that's her right? The woman in the teal dress?
V: Yes. Now hurry towards her. No sudden movements by the body guards. I'll tell you what to say to get her attention.
Ra Helios: Okay.
Ra Helios made his way to the entourage of large men who looked like they wanted nothing more than an excuse to beat someone up as they wore their dark suits and sunglasses.
Bodyguard:*sees Ra Helios* Säg ditt företag.
Ra Helios:.....!!!!
Bodyguard: *in English* State your business.
V: "I've come to see 'Den Madame.'"
Ra Helios: I've come to see 'Den Madame.'
Bodyguard: *reaches for gun*
Ra Helios:!!!!!
???: That's enough, Albin.
Bodyguard:......*lowers his hand*
Elsa: Whom exactly wishes to see The Madame tonight?
V: "Not a foe, but a friend."
Ra Helios:.....
V:...."No a foe, but a friend."
Ra Helios:.....
V: Ra?....Ra?!
{Headset battery}
<Dead>
V: RA?!?! RAAAAAA?!?
Ra Helios: *shaking* <Oh my God>
A tall, blonde woman stepped up from her seat. She was thin with dark eyebrows and bluish-green eyes that gazed into the soul. She had blood-red lipstick and a menacing smirk. Her nails were sharp and likewise crimson. She hated being disturbed.
Elsa:....... Well? Who are you?
Ra Helios:.....I......I......um........
Elsa:.....
Bodyguards:....
V: *inaudible*........oh no....
-End of Chapter 3
Chapter 4: Dumpster Diving
Ra Helios:......
Elsa:.......
Ra Helios:......
Elsa:? Oh, I'm sorry, it sounded to me like you had something to discuss. You wanted to see me, and now you have. Is there a reason in particular why you are wasting my time?
Ra Helios:<Be calm. Think. Don't freak out. Just...be calm...try to remember what V said. Yeah. Be cool. The movie 'Limitless'....>
Elsa: *sigh* I'm going to ask you one more time. Who, in fuck's name might you be?
Ra Helios: I'm Bradley Cooper.
Elsa: Hm?
Ra Helios: You know....Silver Linings playbook.....
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: The A Team...
Elsa: Well, Mr. Cooper. What can Elsa do for you?
Ra Helios: Um, actually, it's more about what I can do for you.
Elsa: Are you insinuating that there's something I can't do myself?
Ra Helios: N-no! I...um....
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: *hurhump*well, I mean...why do for yourself what you can have another do for you?
Elsa:.......
Ra Helios: I mean, a king doesn't wash his own dishes. So why should a queen?
Elsa:......I agree. Very well; sit. I want to hear what you have to say.
Ra Helios took a seat at the far side of the large table that separated Elsa from the visitors. The table was transparent and topped with alcoholic beverages.
Elsa: What manner of work do you do, Mr. Cooper.
Ra Helios: Call me Bradley.
Elsa: I'll call you whatever the fuck I want to.
Ra Helios: *flinch*
Elsa:....
Ra Helios: I'm...in film. Like I mentioned before...
Elsa: I wouldn't know about that stuff. I find entertainment elsewhere.
Ra Helios: I know what you mean. The fight club, right?
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: Well, I've come to tell you that I can give you an opportunity to make some money.
Elsa: There's more to life than money.
Ra Helios: Yes, but money helps a person see some of that stuff, son.
Elsa:...........
Ra Helios:.....I mean...'Ma'am'.
Elsa: I've no need for more business partners.
Ra Helios: Oh, I don't plan to partner up with you. This is a one shot deal. It's about the winner of the fight club tonight. I know who it'll be.
Elsa: So do I.
Ra Helios: I mean, I can tell you who will win.
Elsa: I already know who will win. We run this club. You don't think I have the influence to ensure I don't lose money on a daily basis? If I want a person to lose, they'll lose. If I expect a person to win, guess what: they're fucking gonna.
Ra Helios: Um....I...I suppose so...
Elsa:....
Ra Helios: *biiiing*
Ra Helios immediately looked at his phone. He received a text.
{Message}
V:Ra? Ra, you still alive?
-Received
Elsa:*annoyed* Am I so uninteresting that you're taken by frivolous distractions?
Ra Helios:Uh n-no! I-
Elsa: Albin. Seize his phone.
Ra Helios:....S...sure here.
Bodyguard: *takes Ra Helios' phone*
Elsa: Albin is going to take a little look-see. You'll be surprised how many people are foolish enough to come here with devious intentions.
Ra Helios:....
The bodyguard browsed through Ra Helios' phone to see if the conversation was being recorded or if any recent texts were suspicious. As he communicated with V through the headset, the plan of convincing Elsa had no evidence on the phone. Finally, he checked the internet browser and saw Ra Helios' recent website visit: TYM:
Though horrified by what he saw, there wasn't actually anything to suggest Ra Helios was a threat.
Bodyguard:...........He's clean.
Elsa: It seems I was mistaken. This conversation was a waste of time. You haven't told me something I don't already know.
Ra Helios: I...I CAN!
Elsa: Try me.
Ra Helios:<Don't say anything stupid...just....stay on topic about the fight club>
Elsa:I'm listening....
Ra Helios: I'm a day one phenomenal Catwoman player.
Elsa: What?
Ra Helios: I'm the best Catwoman.
Elsa: You're a...woman?
Ra Helios: No. She's my main.
Elsa:...your main? What, your main squeeze? You two are lovers?
Ra Helios: No one is as good with Catwoman as me.
Elsa: And what does this woman have to do with me?
Ra Helios: 16Bit and all the others on TYM think she loses to Bane 7-3. I think it's 5-5 or 6-4 Bane, personally. They think it's because of his armor.
Elsa: Bane? Armor?....you're....you're talking about the Russians, are you not? Yes, it's no secret that their body armor shipments are the bane of our existence.
Ra Helios: But you know what? Fuck it, I'll be the first to say it: I don't think it's a bad match up at all. It's 5-5. Maybe even 6-4 Catwoman, based on the sets I have.
Elsa: The Russians have the monopoly on automatics AND body armor. We're in bed with the Irish, but not for their guns. And yet you say...it's even? That they don't have the advantage?
Ra Helios: Everyone is like, "Oh all the offline Catwomen say it's bad", but screw them, son! Online takes more skill! There's lag to take into account!
Elsa: Online? Yes, the Russans DO have most of their exploits publicized in the media. They're strong, but that could be a weakness. They've got a lot of heat on them. Yes....
Ra Helios: I posted a video of me abusing Catwoman's back three against M2Dave's Zod. And he called me a fool for posting footage of a set a year after the fact.
Elsa: Back three? Is...is that really an option? We're already backing the Irish for their coke and the Italians for their X. Should...should we also back the Tri's downtown? They do have guns....but backing three groups...is that wise?
Ra Helios: Her back three gets me out of all sorts of situations. They made fun of me, and said it was a blow up that I said you could react to Bane's command grab.
Elsa: Blow up-yes! But of course! We wouldn't have to go through the Russians for explosives...they wouldn't even know if we get them through the right channels...
Ra Helios: Rev0lver said I was improving and leveling up on the forums because I almost spelled 'Lex' correctly. I mean it wasn't my fault....Lex isn't a common name, it's easy to mess it up!
Elsa: Revolvers?! But of course! The Russians have all shipments of automatics on lock, but good old fashioned revolvers can be bought from the Medellin's by the wharf! They'll have no idea, and we can amass a surplus! Then to hell with their fucking body armor; we'll out-gun them without them even realizing we've been prepping for war! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ra Helios:.........so anyway....yes... about the fight club.
Elsa: Heh heh...hee hee.....hahahahahahahaha!
Ra Helios:....um......
Elsa had a crazed look in her eyes. Even her bodyguards were visibly nervous.
Elsa: Mr. Cooper....I like the way you think. Yes....you're bold. Not afraid to take chances. Who knew I'd be sitting with someone who had such a tactical mind for....handling 'business'. Heh heh. The looks on the faces of those fuckers...
Ra Helios: Um..y-yeah....th..that's....
Elsa: Tell me though...what's in this for you? I mean, who would just give out valuable strategy advice about my dealings for free? *smirks* You trying to say I'm not doing a good enough job?
Ra Helios:Oh but it isn't for free. You've already more than paid me for the information.
Elsa: Have I, now?
Ra Helios: Yes. I mean, the money I'll be making tonight is all thanks to you. Specifically, your fight club. Yes, after I drop a few figures on Skull Krusher with a 'K', I'll have enough money to see the 'more to life' that you spoke about.
Elsa:*suspiciously* You're so sure Skull Krusher is going to win?
Ra Helios: *shrugs* He's who I would go with.
Elsa: I see. To each his own. Well Mr. Cooper, it's been a pleasure.
Ra Helios: The pleasure was all mine, son.
Elsa: *smiles*
Miraculously, Ra Helios was able to leave the table unscathed. Elsa watched him intently as he walked away.
Bodyguard: Everything alright, Madame?
Elsa:..............yes............quite an interesting fellow. Seemed to be very astute about how to handle the Russians.......a mind like that is useful...........hmmm.......Skull Krusher, he said.....
Ra Helios quickly walked out of the main nightclub and hurried back up the stairs. He then moved towards the exit.
Bouncer:*nods*
Ra Helios:.....wait a minute! That's a blutooth headset, right?
Bouncer:?
Ra Helios:*reaching into his pocket*
Bouncer:.......
Ra Helios: I'll give you two hundred bucks for it.
<Later>
*Riiiiing*
Ra Helios:<Pick up pick up pick up>
V:Hello? Ra? You're still alive?!
Ra Helios: Yeah.
V: What happened?! I didn't get a text back!
Ra Helios: They took my phone. Besides I was talking with Elsa. Yeah dude I don't....I don't think she's going to pick Skull Krusher.
V: What?!?!
Ra Helios: I mentioned his name a few times, but she seemed certain she would win with her own pick.
V:......th....th.......
Ra Helios:......
V:.....then it was all for nothing.....we.....I failed......this.....
Ra Helios: Hey man, I'm sorry! We were talking for a while, and I was nervous, but then she said she liked what I said and that I was a smart man, and to each his own and-
V:.....she called you smart?
Ra Helios: I helped her with her problem with the Russians.
V: Why the fuck were you discussing business matters with her?! Do you realize who these people are?!
Ra Helios: The mob, right? *shrug* I dunno, she seemed to think that I knew what I was talking about. I mean...I'm alive, so I must have said something right.
V:.......And you put the thought of picking Skull Krusher in her head?
Ra Helios: Yes. But I don't know if she'll actually bet on him.
V:.....*sigh*....well then I guess only time will tell.
Ra Helios: I tried to do what you said, but I didn't have a condom.
V: What?
Ra Helios: You said to be inconspicuous, but there were people watching. I mean...I wasn't trying to get conspicuous all over the place with onlookers.
V:.........................
Ra Helios: Anyway, this has been one crazy night. I'm going home.
John Winkler: OH NO YOU AREN'T!
Ra Helios:!!!!!!!!
V:!!!!!!!
The Hitbox seller's voice was apparent: He found Ra Helios!
Ra Helios: AAAAAAAAH!
The Catwoman player turned and ran as fast as he could
V: He found you!
Ra Helios: I know! I know!
John: *chasing after him* YEAH, THOUGHT YOU'D GOTTEN AWAY DIDN'T YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
Ra Helios: *running* I'LL RETURN THE HITBOX!
John: TOO LATE MOTHERFUCKER!
Ra Helios: I'LL PAY YOU TOO! PLEASE!
John: YOU'RE GONNA PAY WITH BLOOD!
Ra Helios wasn't able to keep as far a distance away from his assailant as he was last time, but he was still ahead of him. He ran towards the alleyway.
V: He's gonna find you in here!
Ra Helios:*pant pant* I....*pant pant*...I have to hide, I ccan't out-outrun him! Too *pant* tired.
Just then, another individual appeared walking through the alley in a manner oddly similar to the mysterious hooded figure before. Though this time, it WAS someone Ra Helios recognized.
V: Someone's here!
Ra Helios: Sir! Help! I need your help, son! I.........
???:.......
Ra Helios:!!!!!!!....????
???:.....
Ra Helios: Forever King?!
Forever King:.......sup.
-End of Chapter 4
Ra Helios:......
Elsa:.......
Ra Helios:......
Elsa:? Oh, I'm sorry, it sounded to me like you had something to discuss. You wanted to see me, and now you have. Is there a reason in particular why you are wasting my time?
Ra Helios:<Be calm. Think. Don't freak out. Just...be calm...try to remember what V said. Yeah. Be cool. The movie 'Limitless'....>
Elsa: *sigh* I'm going to ask you one more time. Who, in fuck's name might you be?
Ra Helios: I'm Bradley Cooper.
Elsa: Hm?
Ra Helios: You know....Silver Linings playbook.....
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: The A Team...
Elsa: Well, Mr. Cooper. What can Elsa do for you?
Ra Helios: Um, actually, it's more about what I can do for you.
Elsa: Are you insinuating that there's something I can't do myself?
Ra Helios: N-no! I...um....
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: *hurhump*well, I mean...why do for yourself what you can have another do for you?
Elsa:.......
Ra Helios: I mean, a king doesn't wash his own dishes. So why should a queen?
Elsa:......I agree. Very well; sit. I want to hear what you have to say.
Ra Helios took a seat at the far side of the large table that separated Elsa from the visitors. The table was transparent and topped with alcoholic beverages.
Elsa: What manner of work do you do, Mr. Cooper.
Ra Helios: Call me Bradley.
Elsa: I'll call you whatever the fuck I want to.
Ra Helios: *flinch*
Elsa:....
Ra Helios: I'm...in film. Like I mentioned before...
Elsa: I wouldn't know about that stuff. I find entertainment elsewhere.
Ra Helios: I know what you mean. The fight club, right?
Elsa:.....
Ra Helios: Well, I've come to tell you that I can give you an opportunity to make some money.
Elsa: There's more to life than money.
Ra Helios: Yes, but money helps a person see some of that stuff, son.
Elsa:...........
Ra Helios:.....I mean...'Ma'am'.
Elsa: I've no need for more business partners.
Ra Helios: Oh, I don't plan to partner up with you. This is a one shot deal. It's about the winner of the fight club tonight. I know who it'll be.
Elsa: So do I.
Ra Helios: I mean, I can tell you who will win.
Elsa: I already know who will win. We run this club. You don't think I have the influence to ensure I don't lose money on a daily basis? If I want a person to lose, they'll lose. If I expect a person to win, guess what: they're fucking gonna.
Ra Helios: Um....I...I suppose so...
Elsa:....
Ra Helios: *biiiing*
Ra Helios immediately looked at his phone. He received a text.
{Message}
V:Ra? Ra, you still alive?
-Received
Elsa:*annoyed* Am I so uninteresting that you're taken by frivolous distractions?
Ra Helios:Uh n-no! I-
Elsa: Albin. Seize his phone.
Ra Helios:....S...sure here.
Bodyguard: *takes Ra Helios' phone*
Elsa: Albin is going to take a little look-see. You'll be surprised how many people are foolish enough to come here with devious intentions.
Ra Helios:....
The bodyguard browsed through Ra Helios' phone to see if the conversation was being recorded or if any recent texts were suspicious. As he communicated with V through the headset, the plan of convincing Elsa had no evidence on the phone. Finally, he checked the internet browser and saw Ra Helios' recent website visit: TYM:
Though horrified by what he saw, there wasn't actually anything to suggest Ra Helios was a threat.
Bodyguard:...........He's clean.
Elsa: It seems I was mistaken. This conversation was a waste of time. You haven't told me something I don't already know.
Ra Helios: I...I CAN!
Elsa: Try me.
Ra Helios:<Don't say anything stupid...just....stay on topic about the fight club>
Elsa:I'm listening....
Ra Helios: I'm a day one phenomenal Catwoman player.
Elsa: What?
Ra Helios: I'm the best Catwoman.
Elsa: You're a...woman?
Ra Helios: No. She's my main.
Elsa:...your main? What, your main squeeze? You two are lovers?
Ra Helios: No one is as good with Catwoman as me.
Elsa: And what does this woman have to do with me?
Ra Helios: 16Bit and all the others on TYM think she loses to Bane 7-3. I think it's 5-5 or 6-4 Bane, personally. They think it's because of his armor.
Elsa: Bane? Armor?....you're....you're talking about the Russians, are you not? Yes, it's no secret that their body armor shipments are the bane of our existence.
Ra Helios: But you know what? Fuck it, I'll be the first to say it: I don't think it's a bad match up at all. It's 5-5. Maybe even 6-4 Catwoman, based on the sets I have.
Elsa: The Russians have the monopoly on automatics AND body armor. We're in bed with the Irish, but not for their guns. And yet you say...it's even? That they don't have the advantage?
Ra Helios: Everyone is like, "Oh all the offline Catwomen say it's bad", but screw them, son! Online takes more skill! There's lag to take into account!
Elsa: Online? Yes, the Russans DO have most of their exploits publicized in the media. They're strong, but that could be a weakness. They've got a lot of heat on them. Yes....
Ra Helios: I posted a video of me abusing Catwoman's back three against M2Dave's Zod. And he called me a fool for posting footage of a set a year after the fact.
Elsa: Back three? Is...is that really an option? We're already backing the Irish for their coke and the Italians for their X. Should...should we also back the Tri's downtown? They do have guns....but backing three groups...is that wise?
Ra Helios: Her back three gets me out of all sorts of situations. They made fun of me, and said it was a blow up that I said you could react to Bane's command grab.
Elsa: Blow up-yes! But of course! We wouldn't have to go through the Russians for explosives...they wouldn't even know if we get them through the right channels...
Ra Helios: Rev0lver said I was improving and leveling up on the forums because I almost spelled 'Lex' correctly. I mean it wasn't my fault....Lex isn't a common name, it's easy to mess it up!
Elsa: Revolvers?! But of course! The Russians have all shipments of automatics on lock, but good old fashioned revolvers can be bought from the Medellin's by the wharf! They'll have no idea, and we can amass a surplus! Then to hell with their fucking body armor; we'll out-gun them without them even realizing we've been prepping for war! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ra Helios:.........so anyway....yes... about the fight club.
Elsa: Heh heh...hee hee.....hahahahahahahaha!
Ra Helios:....um......
Elsa had a crazed look in her eyes. Even her bodyguards were visibly nervous.
Elsa: Mr. Cooper....I like the way you think. Yes....you're bold. Not afraid to take chances. Who knew I'd be sitting with someone who had such a tactical mind for....handling 'business'. Heh heh. The looks on the faces of those fuckers...
Ra Helios: Um..y-yeah....th..that's....
Elsa: Tell me though...what's in this for you? I mean, who would just give out valuable strategy advice about my dealings for free? *smirks* You trying to say I'm not doing a good enough job?
Ra Helios:Oh but it isn't for free. You've already more than paid me for the information.
Elsa: Have I, now?
Ra Helios: Yes. I mean, the money I'll be making tonight is all thanks to you. Specifically, your fight club. Yes, after I drop a few figures on Skull Krusher with a 'K', I'll have enough money to see the 'more to life' that you spoke about.
Elsa:*suspiciously* You're so sure Skull Krusher is going to win?
Ra Helios: *shrugs* He's who I would go with.
Elsa: I see. To each his own. Well Mr. Cooper, it's been a pleasure.
Ra Helios: The pleasure was all mine, son.
Elsa: *smiles*
Miraculously, Ra Helios was able to leave the table unscathed. Elsa watched him intently as he walked away.
Bodyguard: Everything alright, Madame?
Elsa:..............yes............quite an interesting fellow. Seemed to be very astute about how to handle the Russians.......a mind like that is useful...........hmmm.......Skull Krusher, he said.....
Ra Helios quickly walked out of the main nightclub and hurried back up the stairs. He then moved towards the exit.
Bouncer:*nods*
Ra Helios:.....wait a minute! That's a blutooth headset, right?
Bouncer:?
Ra Helios:*reaching into his pocket*
Bouncer:.......
Ra Helios: I'll give you two hundred bucks for it.
<Later>
*Riiiiing*
Ra Helios:<Pick up pick up pick up>
V:Hello? Ra? You're still alive?!
Ra Helios: Yeah.
V: What happened?! I didn't get a text back!
Ra Helios: They took my phone. Besides I was talking with Elsa. Yeah dude I don't....I don't think she's going to pick Skull Krusher.
V: What?!?!
Ra Helios: I mentioned his name a few times, but she seemed certain she would win with her own pick.
V:......th....th.......
Ra Helios:......
V:.....then it was all for nothing.....we.....I failed......this.....
Ra Helios: Hey man, I'm sorry! We were talking for a while, and I was nervous, but then she said she liked what I said and that I was a smart man, and to each his own and-
V:.....she called you smart?
Ra Helios: I helped her with her problem with the Russians.
V: Why the fuck were you discussing business matters with her?! Do you realize who these people are?!
Ra Helios: The mob, right? *shrug* I dunno, she seemed to think that I knew what I was talking about. I mean...I'm alive, so I must have said something right.
V:.......And you put the thought of picking Skull Krusher in her head?
Ra Helios: Yes. But I don't know if she'll actually bet on him.
V:.....*sigh*....well then I guess only time will tell.
Ra Helios: I tried to do what you said, but I didn't have a condom.
V: What?
Ra Helios: You said to be inconspicuous, but there were people watching. I mean...I wasn't trying to get conspicuous all over the place with onlookers.
V:.........................
Ra Helios: Anyway, this has been one crazy night. I'm going home.
John Winkler: OH NO YOU AREN'T!
Ra Helios:!!!!!!!!
V:!!!!!!!
The Hitbox seller's voice was apparent: He found Ra Helios!
Ra Helios: AAAAAAAAH!
The Catwoman player turned and ran as fast as he could
V: He found you!
Ra Helios: I know! I know!
John: *chasing after him* YEAH, THOUGHT YOU'D GOTTEN AWAY DIDN'T YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
Ra Helios: *running* I'LL RETURN THE HITBOX!
John: TOO LATE MOTHERFUCKER!
Ra Helios: I'LL PAY YOU TOO! PLEASE!
John: YOU'RE GONNA PAY WITH BLOOD!
Ra Helios wasn't able to keep as far a distance away from his assailant as he was last time, but he was still ahead of him. He ran towards the alleyway.
V: He's gonna find you in here!
Ra Helios:*pant pant* I....*pant pant*...I have to hide, I ccan't out-outrun him! Too *pant* tired.
Just then, another individual appeared walking through the alley in a manner oddly similar to the mysterious hooded figure before. Though this time, it WAS someone Ra Helios recognized.
V: Someone's here!
Ra Helios: Sir! Help! I need your help, son! I.........
???:.......
Ra Helios:!!!!!!!....????
???:.....
Ra Helios: Forever King?!
Forever King:.......sup.
-End of Chapter 4
@Ra Helios @Indecisive @Scott The Scot @Dankster Morgan @Pig Of The Hut @coolwhip @Rathalos @EMPRESS_SunFire @Rude @Undeadjim @Crusty Clown @protools27 @KidVanDal @tatterbug4 @ShotgunInsanity
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