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Anybody check out my stories or have stories to post? I wish I could read that one story about the relic/artifact again. I can't remember who posted it.
 
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Deleted member 28105

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Anybody check out my stories or have stories to post? I wish I could read that one story about the relic/artifact again. I can't remember who posted it.
I really like your second one, it had a nice idea behind it, and your last couple of lines were chilling. I feel like parts of it could be elongated though. If you went into as much depth in every part of story as you did in the church memory I think it'd be top notch. Flushing out the sequences of action or the back story of the character prior to jumping into the supernatural parts would enhance the feel IMO.

You've got quite the imagination on you.
 
If you're wondering, i envisioned a few explanations for that second story.
1, The main character was zapped by a fallen power line.
2. The main character is part of the unstoppable force, that's why God and Satan ignored him.
3. The woman who tended to him when he was a boy wasn't his mother.
 
As for the first story, Okinidari IS the snake and he is the one telling the tale. He pretends that there are tribes, but Atikitera represents his brother. When he and his brother were created, their father had them fight. Okinidari lost and was banished to Earth. Out of mercy, his father let it exist on our planet as something other than its true hideous form.

There are no tribes, just a cursed village that Okinidari controls.

It let the woman go so she'd bring back others to devour. Lives have to be ruined or the curse will destroy her.

I never give details about that curse, but it's why i named the title Seducing Desire. This aint no romantic love story, its about a big fucking snake that persuades you to abandon your goals and kill people you know, so you can save yourself.
 
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Just started. Runaway was interesting. Thought you might mention, that, despite our connection through technology, we're getting further away from one another on an emotional level. Good stuff. I'll keep reading.
 
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Thalassophobia is good. I'd quote Lovecraft, but you probably already know what i'd write. Don't agree with fear of the unknown. More bothered by the fact, that, no matter how hard you try, there are some things you can never be. Maybe it's similar. Maybe it's the same thing. The song 'Something i can never have' by NIN comes to mind.
 
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Deleted member 28105

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I've already read the others. Good work. I was engaged through each story. Drifted off a bit for acid trip, though.
Thank you my good man, I really appreciate it. I get what you're saying about acid trip, it's probably the least applicable thing I've ever written for obvious reasons.
 

Killphil

A prop on the stage of life.
I'm kinda writing fanfic for my character in final fantasy XIV.

Wrote two actually: one for the character I started as and a new one for when I changed race/gender.

The first one is balls, wrote it in first person present tense. Was more or less teasing the idea that I could put something together. It worked better the second time around lol.

Long short: first story is 14 chapters ~1 page per, second is 30 and I stopped on a cliffhanger because I stopped playing the game. Still think about it and what it could be though. Oh, and its unpublished lol, I'm not a pro by any means.
 
Nice piece, CalebHara. Did you say you do freelance writing? And, I like Lovecraft, but some of his stuff I can't deal with. Same with Arthur Machen. Honestly, since I really enjoy mythology a lot, I developed a liking for Bernard Evslin's re-workings. He has a style I like.


Killphil, post some of it here!

And, whatever happened to the guy whop had character descriptions - one was about a guy who lived in a cave with two dogs or wolves. How is that coming along?
 

Revy

★ 19 Years of Jade ★
I’ve been writing an outline for a manga for the past two years & I’m quite the poet as well. Does that count?


Sent from my iPhone using Test Your Might
 

Revy

★ 19 Years of Jade ★
Post some stuff, Revy.
Here's something that wrote about 7-10 years ago about a girl I went to high school with but I'm a totally different person now.

Girl of My Dreams

You are the only thing I see in my visions. You cannot be left unnoticed. You blow my mind. Making my imagination, play tricks on me. You’re the perfect ideal of stunning. Your seductive blue eyes are making you an illness to my heart, making you an assortment of pleasure and agony. Your brunette hair dangles over your shoulder of your beautifully sculpted body, making me beg for more. There is nobody close to your stature. A simple grin from you makes me want to faint from overexposure of beauty. You are truly the magnificence of the modern bombshell. You are the perfect girl for me, but it would be a mission impossible. I want that to change.

My manga however, I'm on the wrong laptop to share parts of it.
 
Keep writing, Revy. I'd post something new, but i've been too busy editing earlier work. I will eventually though. I have 2 story ideas demanding to be written.