(Warning, EMO rant) Tonight has sucked.

Ill start out by saying I have no idea why I'm posting this. I've been sitting in front of the computer for about an hour and texting random friends and I just need to vent. What follows is ridiculous. I am 33yrs old, this shit does not happen to well-adjusted and functional adults.

This will be somewhat emo, and thoroughly absurd.

So.. My sister is a mess. Drugs. I have bent over backwards to help her. Like, so far backwards I've looped in on myself and ended up back where I started. Only with way less money and way more stress. I've almost lost my apartment more than once, because I had to spend my rent money on HER bills, so she didn't lose the house she lives in and my 10yr old niece ends up having to deal with that. I've listened to her lies and her bullshit. I've let her move in to my apartment without paying a dime THREE times, all three times she was here for 4-7 months, and the entire time she stole, shit talked me, started trouble. I caught her going through my GFs purse, she would wake up at like 6am (I live in a 600sq ft one bedroom apt) and then go in to a black RAGE when I would wake up a few hours later because she wanted time to herself.. I don't even know how to describe it. She's bipolar, except instead of swinging to manic happy, the furthest she goes is like passably not hateful, then she swings in to 'set you on fire for fun' nasty.. Its ridiculous. This has placed a HUGE strain on my relationship with my GF because I have tried to keep the peace and keep the situation on an even keel. I have sold things and pawned things of mine, then given my sister the money when I didn't even have enough gas to get to work the next day. I am not exaggerating, I have bled myself mostly dry for her. On top of all that about 5 mnonths ago I bought myself a cheap little car, I had it for two weeks, and let Jamie use it.. I got it back for the first time, TONIGHT.

Why the hell would I do all this? Why would anyone? Two reasons. One. My niece. Aubrey is awesome. My sister uses her as a weapon though. Don't play by her rules? Don't see Aubrey. Aubrey deserves better in life that she is getting. She cant have anything. I bought her a Wii, it was pawned. I bought her as laptop.. Pawned. Hell, I bought her a TEA SET BECAUSE SHE LIKES HOT TEA AND THAT GOT PAWNED. A 20$ tea set from Wal-Mart. The second reason? Giving my sister her way calms things down for about a day. When she doesn't get what she wants, she flips her shit. I'm talking threats, CONSTANT insults, 25-50 calls an HOUR with texts to match, just constant harassment. I'm a fucking pussy for being a grown man that gave in to my younger sisters bullshit bully tactics, but I just kept saying "Just do it and it'll blow over, if you just help her out she will shiut up and you can relax".. And it worked.. for 24hrs or less. This process would repeat itself, I AM NOT KIDDING, 3-6 days a week. Its not a once a month thing, or a once a week thing. It is EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Until tonight.

I wake up to texts from her, like every morning. Her latest scheme, I shit you not, is to get me to give plasma, and get paid for it, and give her atleast half the money. Now, I am DEAD broke. Like cant eat broke. Seriously, I am hungry and cannot eat. I got paid off a few months ago and al Ive found since has been part time work. Im working, and so is my GF, but we are JUST getting caught up from being behind where I got laid off. I am actively looking for a better job, but until one comes along, I'm working for peanuts trying to get at least full time hours where I am now, or find another disposable shit-job that is atleast full time. Anything I can do to make money. So, honestly, plasma center as shitty as it sounds, doesn't sound like a bad idea. We need the money and I have too many responsibilities to stand on some high horse and look down on doing what I have to do to get by, but give her half? Ehhhh no.

So, I go. Cant donate. Arrive too late. Didnt know they closed at 3, they arent accepting people past a certain point and I have missed that point. I go home. Well, i try. I am omw home and my GF's car breaks down. Probably the alternator. Ya know what? Things have been so shitty lately, I aint even upset. I just drop my head and push the car in to a church parking lot and start calling friends. Some people in the church see my broken down and come out to yell at me and tell me they will tow my car if I leave it there. i try to explain the situation and say I will have it gone by tomorrow at the latest if I CANT get it gone right away, but Im trying, could you please give me a little leeway just in-case. Nope. The head dude, dunno if he was a pastor or what, but the guy that seemed to be speaking for the group, pulls out his cellphone and calls the police. I had pushed the car in to the parking lot, so I just push it back out and on the side of the road. The cop shows, but Im off the property. He tells me he will have the city tow my car in a couple hours because its a busy road with no shoulder and Im in the way, etc. Luckily by this time a friend was on his way. We toe the car back to my apartment which thankfully was only a couple miles down the road.

to be continued when I getback. have to get GF from work.

Sorry to hear that man. Sounds rough.

I know I probably shouldnt meddle in other peoples affairs, but it sounds like you should really consider getting CPS involved with your niece.

So anyway.

I get the car back to the parking lot of my complex. I then text my sister, tell her the car broke, I need mine back ASAP. if she cant do it right then, fine, bring it in the morning.

Now, this request should be very simple. It should be straightforward and reasonable. I let her use my car, which I still pay for most of the gas in, and pay for the insurance on. She has to bring me the car back when/if I need it. Nearly 24hrs of notice is more than enough.

And then it begins.

She cusses me, calls me trash, then proceeds to unravel this bizarre conspiracy theory of hers on how I had/have a bunch of money that I'm just not telling her about and I was going to spend it and the car didn't break down, I'm lying just to take my car back for no reason and use that as my excuse.

It LITERALLY sounded like a crazy person talking. These huge leaps of logic and thought that made no sense. Why would I need an excuse to take my own car back? Further, my GFs car has been having weird issues for a week now that she has not only been aware of, but been in the car when it started acting up. I mean.. A normal person, if given a car to use whenever they wanted, with insurance paid and most of the gas expenditure taken care of, would say 'Oh shit thats awful, thank you for letting me use the car this long, i will be happy to return it to you right away!'. But instead, I get called everything you can imagine, with a tin-foil hat conspiracy tacked on that makes zero sense on how I somehow had a ton of money and I was out .. I dunno.. out just .. spending it? No mention of what i was buying. Girls? Pounds of drugs? Fast cars? I.. I dont know? If I DID have money, I would be buying.. like, food.

I had had enough and said Im done. Bring my car. This started a three hour shit-fest of her sending me 3-6 part texts on how I was a piece of shit, etc.. To finally conclude with.. Asking me to ask someone to borrow money... then giving it to her. Yep. After a running argument and her saying I was a lying piece of trash and I should kill myself, and she hoped I got in a car accident, etc etc, she concludes by saying she has asked this person for a bunch of money to borrow and she needs to me ask this person to loan ME money, then give it to her... Because she owes this person a ton of money already and cant ask her herself. This is also after threatening to put rocks in my oil, and dirt, and put a brick on the gas pedal and just blow the car up, or key it, or break all the windows, etc.,

BY this time, I had gotten a friend to come get me and take me to her house so I could just get the car. I didn't tell her I was coming, just that I was looking for a ride. Not giving her a chance to drive away and leave me unable to get the car or something. At this point I realize Im dealing with someone completely detached from reality and that pretty much means nothing is out of bounds. Now, to complicate matters slightly, one of my cats was at her house. She has a friend who is a vet tech and was supposed to give Oliver a cortizone shot for some allergy issues hes having. It was supposed to happen Monday, but its fucking Saturday and still hasn't, but whatever. Id think she was lying but I cant figure an angle. I was undecided on if he was staying (as much as I dislike the idea she would never harm an animal and he would get the care he needs) or going.

I arrive and walk up to the door. Btw, i cant remember if I have menbtioned it yet or not, but I have my niece with me this whole time. She knows nothing of whats going on. I would never ever let he know or anything. But I am bringing her home because I cant tomorrow. I have to work on my GFs car and take care of things, on top of my sister acting like, I dont want to interact with her again. So I arrive and knock on the door. I hear my sister start calling me everything imaginable and saying she refuses to let me in, etc. I mention, calmly, that her daughter is out here and needs to come in and I am damn sure coming in to get my car keys, check on the cat and go. So my Mom, who lives with my sister, opens the door. I go in, sistyer wont make eye contact, nothing. I just say, politely, I have been painfully polite and cheerful so Aubrey never realizes anything is amiss, for the keys and to see the cat. I am told to go fuck myself, shes not giving me the keys and I cant see the cat.

aannndddddd it begins. I told her to get the keys or I would look for them myself. She gets up, goes back to her room to get them. I follow to see Oliver. She bars the door to her bedroom and tells me to get the fuck away I cant see him. At this point I'm starting to think something is wrong with him, like beyond his allergies and she doesn't want me to see him. or maybe she threw him outside.. I have no idea. I tell her, no, screw this, I'm taking the cat. I'll just sell something if I have to so i can take him to a vet, I'm not leaving him with her. Shes insane. Again, I have kept my voice level and my language civil so Aubrey doesnt know anything is wrong. She does know, because of everything my sister keeps saying but Im between a rock and a hard place. My sister just starts screaming at me to get out, I cant take, or see the cat, and she whips the car keys at me and hits me in the face with them. I bent over to pick them up, and she bum rushes me. Shes a fat bitch, but im a big dude and very strong, so all she does is bounce off me. She hits me a couple times in the face and chest, I push her down on her bed and walk in to the room to get Oliver and get out. This whole time, she is screaming HOW DARE YOU DO THIS IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER, just over and over. She gets up and comes after me again, hits me a few times and starts trying to claw at my eyes. I spun around and left her room and just said ok, Im calling the cops.

Ive mentioned before that Im a bigger guy. Years of competitive boxing and MMA, then powerlifting, etc.. I have never laid my hands on a woman, and I never will. So I turned away and called the cops. I had no choice. Shes refusing to give me my cat back and god knows what will happen to him if he stays there and physically attacking me. Im 33yrs old, this is RIDICULOUS. Bullshit level ridiculous. So, I called the police. Not to mention that if I just leave, SHE will call the cops and turn it around on me etc. Fast forward, I leave with my car and cat. When i called the cops, she loaded up Oliver real quick. I drive a little ways down the road and wait for the cops to show. I explain I don't want to press charges., My 10yr old niece has seen all this. She doesn't need to see her mother arrested in front of her. This is disgusting and I feel like a piece of dumpster trash for her seeing all this. All I wanted was mny car and cat and my idiotic sister had to push and push and when she couldnt get her way in the end, had to blow up and act like this. Sigh.

I explained it to the cops and they backed off her and I came home. Before I left the house I told my Mom to that she needed to get back inside and tell my sister to NEVER, EVER speak to me again and if I got a SINGLE text message from her I would call the cops, show them the marks all over my neck and chest (Hid them with my jacket when the cops came initially) and have her arrested for assault, then call CPS and we would go from there.

Thats really the end of the story. I came home and now Im here.

But now, Im sitting here, thinking of my niece and I dont know what to do. Really, this whole post is about that more than anything.

My sister *IS* good with Aubrey. She takes from Aubrey.. A laptop, a Wii a tea set, birthday money, etc.. Aubrey cant have anything valuable, but she does crafts with her, she talks to her and makes sure shes engaged in things, Aubrey has her own room and toys, etc. My sister takes Suboxin, so shes not a crackhead or meth addict or heroin addict.. Im not taking up for her, but I don't want people to think I'm letting my niece live in a crackhouse or something. Other than Aubrey not being able to own anything of value, her home-life is no different than any other kids. I make up for her lacking by keeping her here 2-3 days a week minimum and letting her use my numnerous electronics and computer crap, lol.

Do I get CPS involved? Is it worth it? I dont think she will lose custody. Other than my sister having alienated absolutely everyone she has ever known through her theft and her hatefulness and her lies, she takes good care of her daughter EXCEPT stealing anything she has of value. Thats bad, but thats not bad enough to be taken away from her mother. ANd ultimately, with Aubreys home life being actually decent, is the emotional damage received from CPS interviews and counselors and shit worth it? Even if I could force her to lose custody and somehow get it myself (the father would give me custody, he wouldn't fight it) that kind of emotional damage is life long and severe.

I just don't see a 'good' way out of this. No matter what direction I look at going I cant see any real light at the end of the tunnel. All my options are tainted. One thing that is without a doubt though.. I am *done* with my sister. I cant do this any more for my own sake but my niece deserves better. I just wish i knew the right route to take.

I don't even live in america so i'm not familiar with laws and regulations , but i have had a cousin die of a heroin overdose so i can comment on the drug's side of things, all you're doing is enabling her to keep doing what she's doing and if you think your niece is better off with an unhinged drug abuser who sells anything of value to buy more then , maybe you need to rethink how you can approach... i also know someone who has had her girl taken from her over a sleeping tablet addiction - both seem to be much better off after all the dust has settled the girl is with her grandmother and the mother now realises just how much of a fuckup she made and is trying to make things right since all the shit went down ,, just throwing my 2 cents in , sometimes you have to be the bad guy for the greater good.

Holy shit man, you've been having a rough go of things. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom that could iron all this out for you. The best I can offer is: shoot me a PM if you ever need. Whether it's to vent, ask advice or whatever it is, do not hesitate. I hope things smooth over for you brotha. Keep your chin up.

i would get someone involved. Children are very perceptive, and so i would wager your niece knows already that your sister has strained her relationships with everyone plus the fact that she lies cheats and steals. It would be better for your niece and your sister if you stepped in and sought out help not only for your niece but also your sister, because obviously she has issues which need professional attention also. Passivity from what you have told us will not reconcile this situation. That's just my thoughts though, hope it all works out for you dude

Man, sorry to hear about all this. If you want to help your niece, and hopefully your sister, if possible, report your sister to DFS (Department of Family Services), and file a custody suit to take custody of your niece, of if you wouldn't be able to, convince your mom, grandmother, dad, someone else in your family who has it together.

Then cut your sister out, and tell her its her drug problem. Until she gets through rehab, you're done with her. Let her lose her house, her car, her job, everything. She won't break this until she hits bottom. She may not ever break it, she may end up dead. It sucks, but I think that's the reality for these kinds of addictions. All you can do is try to make sure your niece has a good life, and hope your sister when she hits bottom is still alive, and then help her get through it (rehab is a must though).

I feel for you; she's putting your family in a pretty bad spot. Good luck.

I suggest "Unhooked: How to Quit Anything" by Frederick Woolverton just to have a sliver of an idea what you're up against, although I'm sure there are many other books like it out there.

Ultimately you cannot control your sister ... you cannot even "control" yourself (no free will, that is, but that's another matter).

Where the conditions are sufficient, the phenomena will arise ... whether it's your sister getting better or getting worse. If the conditions are sufficient, she could change herself--or not. Any outcome is from a self-organizing chaotic system, and was mindlessly arranged by endless causalities long before you were involved. This is hard to understand, and the social reality may be that you keep trying to help her, or avoid her. Either way, you have to take care of yourself first. Always!

As for the misery this has brought on you ... the only thing that has truly made life easier for me is Zen Buddhism, which (to me and many others) isn't a religion, but among other things a scientific practice to change your consciousness into a more suitable, clear form so life isn't so hard. The experience of unhappiness comes from our thoughts. Try "Happiness Beyond Thought" by Gary Weber or the more famous "Three Pillars of Zen."

Just my honest thoughts, take care.