For many, this has been a terrible terrible time. We all have our reasons. Isolation. Illness. Unemployment. Politics. Anxiety. Wether you believe in the COVID brain fog or not, there's no denying the toll all of this is taking on people when they're fortunate enough to just be "riding it out" in relative comfort. What I don't see a lot of, especially in the gamer community, is support for the ones who aren't. In other game communities I have seen threads / statuses occasionally crop up by people who are mentally or emotionally suffering, either by their own definition someone else's, and found quite literally with nowhere to turn with their thoughts. Scary posts and status updates from people we would definitely dap or hug or high five if the world was working, but now... we just watch them twist in the wind. I know, it happened to me when I got COVID.
So what I wanted to try and do is offer up a thread for anybody whose brain like mine isn't quite working anymore to just talk it out. Now this isn't therapy. This isn't political. It's for humans who want to talk to humans. Humans who may not all agree on everything in the world, but wall speak the same language of combos and frame data and such. Maybe this will go nowhere, or maybe we can find some additional common ground. I'm gonna go first, because this was my idea and honestly, I need to. If you're uncomfortable sharing or getting involved, don't feel the need to reply, you won't hurt my feeling. If you're a dick, maybe sit this one out. Or, if you see something in here that resonates with you somehow, maybe share. I know it would make me feel better to know I'm not the only one feeling these things.
I mentioned up above that I got COVID last year, but it actually wasn't the worst thing that happened to me in 2020. The worst thing that happened was my Dad died. It was mid year, June, just a month before my birthday, a month and a week before his. Yes, our birthday's are a week apart. When my father died we held a socially distanced funeral, because we were obviously super depressed but also it was still early in the pandemic so it seemed reasonable. Now? 6 months later with no end in sight, and the contrarions still preaching that bullshit? I don't know. Both my brother and I have expressed regrets with having done it. There's a special kind of mental hell your brain puts you in when you have to reconcile those kind of thoughts. "I feel guilty for holding a funeral for my father", try thinking that. COVID has forced us all to say and do and think crazy things. "I wish it could've been more like Mom's funeral". Dad wasn't even the only personal death I faced last year, but for some reason it has come to "define" 2020 misery for me. The reality that I literally never processed his death, that I still have to remind myself every couple of days "oh yeah and your father's still dead" is more profound to me, even when my mother died so many years before.
Anyway, that's my piece. For now. Honestly, I already feel mildly relieved, though there is trepidation in actually hitting the post button. If you've read this far and feel compared to share as well, please feel free. I'll be listening otherwise, thank you anyway.
So what I wanted to try and do is offer up a thread for anybody whose brain like mine isn't quite working anymore to just talk it out. Now this isn't therapy. This isn't political. It's for humans who want to talk to humans. Humans who may not all agree on everything in the world, but wall speak the same language of combos and frame data and such. Maybe this will go nowhere, or maybe we can find some additional common ground. I'm gonna go first, because this was my idea and honestly, I need to. If you're uncomfortable sharing or getting involved, don't feel the need to reply, you won't hurt my feeling. If you're a dick, maybe sit this one out. Or, if you see something in here that resonates with you somehow, maybe share. I know it would make me feel better to know I'm not the only one feeling these things.
I mentioned up above that I got COVID last year, but it actually wasn't the worst thing that happened to me in 2020. The worst thing that happened was my Dad died. It was mid year, June, just a month before my birthday, a month and a week before his. Yes, our birthday's are a week apart. When my father died we held a socially distanced funeral, because we were obviously super depressed but also it was still early in the pandemic so it seemed reasonable. Now? 6 months later with no end in sight, and the contrarions still preaching that bullshit? I don't know. Both my brother and I have expressed regrets with having done it. There's a special kind of mental hell your brain puts you in when you have to reconcile those kind of thoughts. "I feel guilty for holding a funeral for my father", try thinking that. COVID has forced us all to say and do and think crazy things. "I wish it could've been more like Mom's funeral". Dad wasn't even the only personal death I faced last year, but for some reason it has come to "define" 2020 misery for me. The reality that I literally never processed his death, that I still have to remind myself every couple of days "oh yeah and your father's still dead" is more profound to me, even when my mother died so many years before.
Anyway, that's my piece. For now. Honestly, I already feel mildly relieved, though there is trepidation in actually hitting the post button. If you've read this far and feel compared to share as well, please feel free. I'll be listening otherwise, thank you anyway.