The Tortoise Patch Betting Shop

[SneakyTortoise]

So we all know that a patch is imminent. I figured that this could be an opportunity to have a bit of fun and do something we haven't done before. So I've opened the betting shop, which will also be open before certain tournaments.

Here's how it works, new patrons are given 50 tortoise tokens. Below you will see the odds given for particular scenarios. You can place your bets however you wish, but you only have 50 tokens. Whomever cashes in the biggest profit gains bragging rights.

Odds explained
10:1 = you place one token, if you win you are paid 10 and your initial wager is returned

1:10 = you place 10 tokens on the bet, if you win you are paid one and your initial wager is returned.

You may request to bet on a scenario not listed below, and I shall provide reasonable odds.

Shinnok to be nerfed = 1:20
Shinnok to be buffed = 20:1
Shinnok to be left alone = 10:1

Predator to be nerfed = 1:20
Predator to be buffed = 20:1
Predator to be left alone = 5:1

Goro to be buffed = 1:50
Goro to be nerfed = 100:1
What's a Goro? = 500:1

Net play to actually reach the bar set by current gen games = 100000:1

Liu kang to be nerfed = 1:20

Tremor to be buffed = 2:1

Kung Lao to be nerfed = 1:5

Sub zero to receive buffs = 2:1

Sub zero community to be intolerable after patch notes = 1:30

Kenshi to be buffed = 2:1

 

[xInfra Deadx]

My money's on the Sub Zero community continuing to be intolerable and Kenshi being buffed.

 

[Big Pampering]

why is there no subzero nerf?

 

[KingKhrystopher]

I'm still confused.

 

[True Grave]

I will give my wagers in a bit. Gambling is in my blood.

 

[SneakyTortoise]

why is there no subzero nerf?

I can give you 5:1 on sub zero being nerfed

 

[Tony at Home]

1:20 on Shinnok being nerfed but only 1:5 on Lao?

I'm all in all Lao being nerfed. ALL FIFTY TORTOISE TOKENS.

 

[PND OmegaK]

I put all my tokens on Kung Lao getting legitimately buffed and Goro getting two completely useless adjustments.

 

[Pterodactyl]

What's a Goro? = 500:1

Spoiler

It hurts, man.

It hurts.

 

[Scott The Scot]

They were going to buff Sub Zero, then Madzin's footage was released at VSF5 and they took the changes out of the patch.

 

[MadeFromMetal]

Odds on F/T buffs?
Odds on Jacqui fixes?
Odds on mechanical changes?
Odds on added features?
Odds on KP2 compatibility along with KP2 teaser?

 

[Doombawkz]

Odds on F/T buffs?

Of course we are getting buffs.
F/T is my character.

I mained shinnok and then look at him now, just imagine the shenanigans.

 

[Pterodactyl]

I put all my tokens on Kung Lao getting legitimately buffed and Goro getting two completely useless adjustments.

Why on earth would Lao get a buff? No one is even asking for Lao buffs.


Meanwhile Goro, Jacqui, and Jason are all drowning while the NRS boat circles around them ignoring their screams.

 

[WidowPuppy]

Net play to actually reach the bar set by current gen games = 100000:1

[Laughs out loud maniacally]

And... you forgot about Jacqui...


























And so did they.

 

[zoofs]

Why on earth with Lao get a buff? No one is even asking for Lao buffs.


Meanwhile Goro, Jacqui, and Jason are all drowning while the NRS boat circles around them ignoring their screams.

add sub into that ocean

 

[Daemantalo]

All in on "What's a Goro."

Pack it up guys. I'm getting the most Tortoise points.

 

[SaltShaker]

Shinnok to be barely touched gets 10 tokens. (He'll get touched but nothing significant so it still counts)

10 tokens on Tremore to be buffed.

10 tokens on Sub-Zero being buffed.

Need more options for my other 20.

Even with those odds I wouldn't bet on the Netcode.

 

[TackyHaddock]

The house always wins . . .

 

[tatterbug4]

Reptile is gonna get buffed

I put all my tokens on it

 

[Jaku2011]

10 coins on Lasher getting nothing
10 coins on Shinnok being overnerfed
10 coins on Predator still being stupid
10 coins on Ferra/torr Getting a buff that doesn't help
10 coins on Kung Lao getting nerfed but still good.

 

[ForeverKing]

What odds will you give me on Takeda receiving no buffs?

 

[GNG Iniquity]

The two things that I do not see happening:
1. Netcode improvement
2. Fixing Johnny's whiff bullshit due to NRS' shitty hitboxes

What I do see happening:
Skrub zuhro Nurfs (OMG I JUMPED IN DA KLONE! HE OP AS FUK!)
Projectile nurfs (OMG SPAM OMG)
Tonya buff or nurf
Cyrax forces himself into MKX because he's a robot robots do what they want and he has the bomb setups
Cyrax comes back from Jamaica
Bob Marley comes back from Jamaica as DLC
Kurt Kobain tagged along with Bob Marley and was in Jamaica also DLC
Mick Jagger DLC perfect for MK the man can't die clearly kombatant material
Jack's daughter is OP already she spammer moar nurfz NRS kthx love kasualz
Taquito no buffs maybe nurf cuz whips are OP in rushdown heavy fiddy fiddy game
Complete removal of AAs. Jump ins are now 100% guaranteed wins.
Somehow miraculously fucking up the netcode more
XBONE now orders you a case of mountain dew and cheetos while waiting to connect online
Brazilian soccer uniforms for the entire cast
Goaltalites
Ed Boon's eyebrows connect to the internet and strangle everyone playing MKX online #eyebrownet
#whothefuckisgoro #punchwalk #sheevareplacementthischaractersucks #njpdastomp #gorotier
Dragon tattoos on buttholes for everyone

100:1 all these things will happen/not happen. Dragon butthole tattoos will be a guarantee though. I have foreseen the future.

 

[Diego de Souza Costa]

can i bet on the Balanced Kenshi buff ?!(only in this variation)

 

[Jaku2011]

The two things that I do not see happening:
1. Netcode improvement
2. Fixing Johnny's whiff bullshit due to NRS' shitty hitboxes

What I do see happening:
SZ Nerfs (OMG I JUMPED IN DA KLONE! HE OP AS FUK!)
Projectile nerfs (OMG SPAM OMG)
Tanya buff or nurf
Takeda no buffs maybe nerf cuz whips are OP in rushdown heavy fiddy fiddy game
Complete removal of AAs. Jump ins are now 100% guaranteed wins.
Somehow miraculously fucking up the netcode more
XBONE now orders you a case of mountain dew and cheetos while waiting to connect online
Brazilian soccer uniforms for the entire cast
#whothefuckisgoro #punchwalk #sheevareplacementthischaractersucks #njpdastomp

This game fucking sucks haha

........I'd actually like soccer uniforms for everyone.

 

[C88 Zombieekiler]

all tortoise tokens on new dlc skins instead of fixing the game @SneakyTortoise what are my odds?